


Forget Yesterday (we'll make the great escape)

by Madd4the24



Category: GOT7, Kpop - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Boys Being Boys, Bromance, Challenge Response, Drama, Dubious Consent, Epic Friendship, M/M, Male Friendship, Misunderstandings, Romance, Tropes, awkward boys being awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 53,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6565669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madd4the24/pseuds/Madd4the24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment they met, both Jackson and Mark knew they were meant for each other, drawn together by some kind of unexplainable but undeniable force. They imagined the kind of interesting future that might hold the kind of promise they both desperately needed. But they certainly didn't expect their respective best friends to be mortal enemies with their own dark, hurt filled pasts, or to get drawn into the conflict and expected to take sides. But with a greater misunderstanding in play, and fiercely coveted secrets, if Mark and Jackson want to have any kind of future, they'll have to figure out what happened between Jaebum and Jinyoung. Before time runs out.</p><p>The course of true love never did run smooth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a GOT7 Christmas giftathon in Asian Fanfics, where my giftee requested a Markson story that spawned this. I always meant to have the story posted over here for archiving reasons, but never found the time until now. Since then this story has been cleaned up, a few things rewitten, and should read much more smoothly. Fingers crossed.
> 
> I do, however, want to issue the same warning here that the story has always carried with it. There are NO explict instances of sexual assault in this story. NOTHING happens in present tense and there are NO descriptive flashbacks. HOWEVER, at several times during this story various characters discuss rape/sexual assault and what constitutes it. One or more characters HAVE arguably been assaulted or threatened with such a thing, so anyone sensative to this subject or simply prefering not to read it, this is the fair warning. I write nothing of this very sensative material without a direct reason for it, so don't think any of this is thrown in there frivilously, but it does exist within this story. 
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy the story and be sure to drop a comment if you're so inclined to do so! I will put up the new, revised chapters as fast as humanly possible. This story is, of course, fully written, and there's no possibility of abandonment!

“I seriously feel like the worst cousin ever. I mean, this is up there with forgetting a birthday or something, Oh, god, Mark, they’re going to take my cousin status away from me for this. Oh, shit, your mom is going to tell my mom and she’s going to murder me. I’m going to be dead this time tomorrow, Mark. You will be down one cousin and I will have completely deserved it.”

Reception was absolutely terrible as deep in the airport as Mark was, but through the murky interference he could clearly hear the strain in his cousin’s voice.

“No one is going to revoke your cousin membership card. Stop freaking out.”

“No, I really think it’s going to happen. Or at least the murder part of my before mentioned statement.”

Keeping his eyes locked ahead, Mark did his best to navigate the cluttered, clustered area just past the customs checkpoint. He’d already gotten his passport stamped, passed through the last security checkpoint, and was well on his wait to baggage claim. But so was everyone else who’d been on his flight, not to mention the several other planes that were currently offloading passengers.

“It’s not your fault,” Mark insisted, following the red line on the floor in front of him towards the wide open area where turnstiles were already loaded with baggage waiting to be claimed. He looked for his own blue suitcase, an orange ribbon tied around the handle the distinguishing marker he’d chosen to make retrieval a little easier. 

Mark was hunting for the ribbon in question when he heard his cousin say, “You reminded me twice about what time your flight was coming in, and now I’m not there to get you.”

Mark sighed, the repeated patiently, “Listen to me, Jinyoung. It is not your fault. We had to reschedule my flight twice, my connecting flight was delayed almost a full day, and this has been one giant mess that even I, the passenger in question, have had a hard time keeping straight. So stop freaking out.”

He heard the annoyance in his cousin’s voice as he said, “I still feel terrible. I wanted to be there when you arrived here. I haven’t seen you in a year, and this just sucks. I suck. I’m sorry.”

The orange ribbon on a blue suitcase came into view and Mark moved quickly for it before it could pass him by for another round on the carousel. “Actually, I’m kind of glad you aren’t here.”

“How come? Mark, should I be offended?”

Huffing a little as he lifted the suitcase Mark replied, “No way, you know you’re my favorite cousin. But now I can grab a cab really quick and go see Seoul without holding your entire day up. It’s been a long time since I was here. I want to see the city. And I’ve got time to kill anyway, right? Your mom won’t even be back in town until tomorrow, and it’ll be even longer for your dad. No one is waiting for me at your house.”

“No,” his cousin said back right away. “But if you want to wait at the airport, I can be there in like an hour and a half. I’ll tell my boss it’s an emergency. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I’m telling you, these are the things that get cousin membership revoked.”

Jinyoung, who often went by Junior, wasn’t Mark’s blood cousin. Mark had plenty of those, in America and other countries as well, yet none of them were as close to him as Junior. But it had always seemed to Mark, who had spent an awful lot of his childhood with Junior in the States, that him not being related by blood to the person he called cousin, was more of a technicality than anything else.

Mark’s parents and Junior’s had ended up going to college together, or rather their moms had, and they’d been best friends almost from the first semester on. And the close bond they had, one more like the type sisters had than anything else, had passed on to Mark and Junior when they’d been born so close to each other. Their parents were the reason Mark’s family had stayed in Korea for so long when Mark had been young, and then why Junior’s family had followed to America for a time, eventually buying property and vacationing regularly before relocating back to Korea by the time Junior was entering high school.

Their families had been twined together for twenty years, and if that didn’t make himself and Junior cousins, then Mark didn’t know what did.

“Let me get a cab,” Mark said, moving steadily towards the barely visible outside street in the distance. “I’ll hang out a little in the city, then I’ll head to your house afterwards. I have the address, and Junior, I’m eighteen. Keep that in mind?”

“I know,” Junior said a little gruffly. “I’ll ask my boss if I can duck out of work a little early. Things are slow here today anyway. If I can leave a little early, I’ll call you. I am really sorry about this, Mark.”

“I know you are,” Mark chuckled, preparing for the blast of warmth that would greet him the second he left the air conditioned airport. And you can make it up to me later by treating me to all the Korean food I’ve missed while being in America. I suspect there’s been a lot, so you’d better save your paycheck.”

He heard Junior laugh, then his cousin promised, “I’ll buy you anything you want to eat. No problem. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“See you,” Mark said, blinking rapidly at the blast of brightness that met him when he was through the doors and fully outside. It was blinding, actually, and it dulled Mark’s senses that were already questionable because of his jetlag.

So when he stumbled, the wheels on his suitcase catching on a crease in the sidewalk and tripping up his feet, he fully expected the bumbling embarrassment that was sure to follow. The surprising part came when he tumbled his way into the person nearest him, Mark’s hands catching on the man’s shirt and dragging them both down.

Mark landed half on the person, half on the searing hot ground, all twisted up and not sure where he started and the other ended. It was mortifying at best, especially as he pushed at the person in his desperation to get up, elbowing the person in the ribs and probably earning himself a lawsuit.

“I’m so sorry!” he broke out in rough Korean. Speaking with his cousin had sparked back up a good deal of the Korean he’d spoken fluently when he was a kid. But he knew he was incredibly rusty and his grammar was less than what would be expected from someone his age. He probably sounded like an elementary school kid. His parents spoke English at home almost exclusively, and with almost all of Mark’s friends being American, he had few opportunities to practice his Korean. Even Junior who was already quite fluent in English, had been taking advanced courses in school and preferred to talk to Mark in that language to practice his own skills. “I’m sorry. I’m clumsy! Are you okay?”

Mark’s eyesight was coming back to him quickly enough that he could tell now it was a man he’d fallen on, or rather a teenage boy around Mark’s own age. He was bulkier than Mark but likely not taller, however none of that mattered as Mark remembered himself and bowed before offering the other a hand up.

He added, “I wasn’t looking where I was going, the sun was in the way and then--”

“Hey,” the boy said sharply, picking himself up from the ground with the help of Mark. His hand was rough and calloused in Mark’s grip, but firm and strong. It was the kind of grip that could turn Mark’s knees to jelly.

It hadn’t gone past him that he’d managed to trip his way into landing on top of an extremely attractive boy.

“Don’t worry about it,” the boy insisted, releasing Mark’s hand to brush back fringe that was sweeping across his forehead to cross into his line of sight. “It was totally my fault.” He stopped suddenly, giving Mark an intense look.

It was unsettling at first, and Mark was completely unsure what to make of it. 

So he asked again, this time with an encouraging look, “Are you sure you’re okay? Did you hit anything when we fell? I think I landed mostly on top of you.”

Slowly, almost at an excruciatingly slow rate, a smile started to spread across the boy’s face until he was looking almost endearingly at Mark. “I’m okay. I promise.” He stuck out his hand for a proper shake. “I’m Jackson.”

It was a little unexpected, but Mark was more than willing to do anything to ease over the fact that he’d knocked Jackson down to the floor. 

Mark shook Jackson’s hand properly and said, “I’m Mark.”

“American?” Jackson asked.

People were flying past them in annoyed, rushed ways, and before Mark could really register what was happening, Jackson had a hand at his elbow and was guiding them to the side and a safe place to stand.

It was a simple touch, and Jackson’s fingers were almost feathery light on Mark’s skin, but the whole motion was more than enough to get Mark’s heart thundering painfully in his chest. Jackson’s fingers fell away from his skin a second later but Mark nearly leaned after them, berating himself immediately. What was he doing?

“So, you American? Mark?”

Mark felt his face heat as he realized Jackson certainly hadn’t had the moment that Mark had. He was pressing on with a question and Mark was stuck with his head in the clouds, acting as if he was a thirteen year old girl going to meet her favorite idol for the first time.

“Sort of,” Mark said with an earnest laugh. “My family is Taiwanese, but both my parents went to school in Korea. After college, they moved to America.” He peered hard at Jackson. “You’re not Korean either. I can tell.” He was getting a chance to better analyze Jackson’s face, aside from how attractive it was. He could have probably passed for Korean to a great deal of people, but Mark was convinced he wasn’t. 

“Chinese,” Jackson replied, leaning on his suitcase a little. “I’m from Hong Kong.”

A nearby car gave a sharp, almost offensive knock and Mark startled, feeling himself snap out of whatever fantasy he’d slowly been sinking into. 

“Sorry,” Mark said, suddenly remembering to be considerate. “I must be holding you up. I’m really sorry for falling on you. Please don’t feel obligated to stand here and talk to me.”

Mark’s eyes were falling to the sidewalk in front of him when he heard Jackson say, “Are you kidding? This is easily the best part of my day so far. I should be saying thanks for bumping into me. If you hadn’t, I never would have met you. And that would be a real shame.”

The way Jackson looked when Mark finally met his eyes was … Mark had never seen anyone look at him that way before. It was an odd kind of fascination written across Jackson’s face, mixed in with awe and humor and something else, too. Whatever the combination, it only served to heighten Jackson’s handsomeness.

The words weren’t lost of Mark, either.

Mark gripped the handle to his suitcase tightly and asked, “Do you have someone picking you up? I don’t want to make them wait, just so we can talk.”

Jackson shook his head. “I was just going to get a taxi into Seoul. Were you?”

“I was,” Mark confirmed, offering up a bigger smile than before. “I’m going to be staying with my cousin for the rest of the academic year, but he’s stuck at work. I thought I’d take a taxi and go see some of Seoul to pass the time. I haven’t been here in a long time.”

Unexpectedly, and without warning, Jackson leaned forward to slide his fingers along Mark’s wrist, the pads of his fingers brushing along the pulse line beating furiously.

“What--”

“We’ll go together,” Jackson decided, chin up in a defiant kind of nature, as if he was daring Mark to say otherwise. “I’ve got time to kill, too. And I know the city better than you I bet. So we’re going to hang out together for the next couple hours.” Jackson paused, as if something was suddenly catching up with him. “If you … want to? With me?”

Mark felt Jackson’s fingers tighten at his wrist, like he was holding on with purpose. It certainly wasn’t a painful hold, even if it was firm, but it was desperate in a way.

He sort of liked it. He’d never had someone hold onto him like they were afraid to lose him. He’d never had a stranger, much less an attractive, charismatic boy like Jackson, show so much interest in him. Not even …

At least Mark was pretty sure they had a flirting repertoire going on at the moment. And maybe they’d just sort of agreed to go on a date? A little?

“You wouldn’t mind sharing your afternoon with me?” Mark asked, wanting to be sure. 

Jackson gave Mark and experimental tug towards the taxi stand, clearly pleased when Mark allowed it, following after. He said, “You have no idea how much I don’t mind.”

They piled their suitcases into the back of a taxi with ease, Mark feeling a little useless actually as Jackson insisted on lifting the both of theirs. Then they climbed into the backseat, Jackson gave directions, and they settled in for the ride.

“So you’re going to be here for the academic year?” Jackson asked, turning to Mark as they merged into traffic.

Mark tried not to dwell on how close their fingers were, nearly brushing. It would have been impossibly easy to lean a little over and link their fingers.

“I am,” Mark said, trying to split his time between the city rushing by them and Jackson’s boyish face. “I already completed all the units I need to graduate back in the States. But I deferred early admission to college, and my parents suggested this instead.”

Jackson gave him an almost affronted look. “You already did all your schoolwork? You could graduate right now if you wanted? And you’re voluntarily coming here instead, to do even more schoolwork, just for fun?”

At the now horrified look on Jackson’s face, Mark gave a low laugh. “Don’t make it sound so horrible.”

“It is horrible!” Jackson protested, pulling his cap off his head so he could smooth his fingers through his hair. It almost seemed like a nervous tick. “Who actually likes school?”

“I like it,” Mark shot back. “And more than that, I like getting to spend time with a cousin that I haven’t seen in a long time. He’s more than just family. He’s practically my best friend. And being so far away from him is hard. It’s only going to get harder the older we get. I’m going to college in America. I don’t think he is, if he decides to go at all.”

Jackson turned away, leaning an elbow up on the window and sighed. “You know, Mark, I get it. I understand. I’ve got some friends that I don’t get to see all too often. We’re super close and it sucks how far apart we are some times.”

Impulsively, Mark reached for Jackson, laying his hand over the other boy’s knee and squeezing. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That’s what my mom always says. I don’t know if I believe that. But I do know that there’s something to how you feel when you’re reunited with someone you care for, that you haven’t been with for a very long time.”

Jackson looked to him, head tilting as he listened to Mark.

It made Mark a little self conscious, but he continued, saying, “I also think people naturally find their way back to each other. Separation might be lengthy, but when there are feelings involved, any kind, there’s a pull between people. So no matter if we’re separated from people who we’re close with, we’ll find our way back to them. At least that’s what I think. That’s what I feel.”

Mouth falling open a little, Jackson said breathlessly, “Thank you so much for falling on me.”

“Huh?”

Jackson shook his head, as if knocking himself back to reality. “Nothing. I just … don’t worry about it.”

The journey from the airport down into Seoul was much shorter than Mark had anticipated, and before long he and Jackson were stepping out of the air conditioned car and back into the heat.

But more startling than the blast of heat, the wave of warmth anything more than he was typically used to dealing with back in Northern California, was the massive bustle of sound and color and people and chaos laid out in front of him.

“I have always wanted to show someone this place--to get to share it with someone who isn’t already familiar with it,” Jackson said at Mark’s side, both of their suitcases pushed in front of him. “Have you been?”

Mark shook his head. “Not since I was a little kid--much too little to remember.”

Jackson insisted, “My friends and I have this ritual. When I first get back into town, we always come here and get food and buy things for our families and just hang out.”

Curiously, Mark asked, “Then don’t you want to come here with them instead?”

“Nah,” Jackson said, nodding for them to start forward. “I’d much rather be here with you.”

The place in question, the destination capturing Mark’s attention was the Myeongdong shopping district.

Jackson wheeled their suitcases easily, despite the heavy flow of people around them, and even flipped to walk backwards so he could keep an eye on Mark. He was light-footed, obviously comfortable in his own skin, and he made Mark smile with how constantly on the move he was. Jackson was easily one of the most energetic people Mark had ever met in his life, and it was only adding to the attraction Mark felt for him. 

“What are we going to do first?” Mark asked, happily following along. “Shopping?” 

“Nope. Something way more important,” Jackson shot back. “Follow me. And try to keep up? I’ve noticed you’ve got a particular habit of falling into people. I’d appreciate it if you’d only do that with me.”

Jackson turned back around sharply to lead the charge and Mark felt a blush creep across his face. 

Jackson’s number one priority destination ended up being a sweets shop. Mark probably should have guessed. He hadn’t known Jackson for very long, but he certainly seemed the type to like sweets, or maybe just eating in general. But it also matched Jackson’s personality, and it was sort of endearing watching Jackson bounce around, inspecting all the ice cream flavors and cakes and deserts.

“Hungry?” Mark asked, his own eyes glossing over the crêpe menu. 

“Starved,” Jackson said, giving a pouty expression. “Plane food should not even be called food.”

Mark had to agree with that assessment. He’d had the chicken on his own flight, but it had been more like mush than anything else, and Mark had eaten less than half of it. So no matter how poor of a choice he knew ice cream for a meal was, he was more than happy with the idea of eating his weight in it. 

Between the two of them they purchased an asinine amount of sweets. It was likely enough to make the both of them feel sick by later that night, but Jackson seemed to be an endless and bottomless pit of hunger, and Mark was just curious.

“So you’ll be here for the rest of the year?” Jackson asked when they had their massive bounty of food spread out across the table in front of them. Because Jackson had insisted on paying for the cab ride, Mark had picked up the bill for their meal. “Until graduation?”

Mark nodded. “Then I’ll got back to California, for college.” He frowned, asking. “What about you? What’s a Hong Kong native doing going to school in Korea?”

Jackson was halfway through the piece of strawberry tart when he answered, “My mom lives out here. My dad’s back in Hong Kong. They got divorced a couple years ago, so I ended up stuck between them. I’m their favorite tug-of-war rope.”

“That’s terrible,” Mark said. Listening to Jackson’s situation made Mark a little more thankful for the stability of his own parent’s marriage. In fact most of Mark’s friends who were around his age, had divorced parents.

“I’m used to it,” Jackson said with a shrug. “I spend the first part of the academic year in Hong Kong with my dad. And then I come here to stay with my mom.”

Mark only shook his head. What kind of arrangement was that? No matter what, Jackson ended up getting uprooted, having to leave behind friends, family, familiarity and everything in-between. 

“That’s not fair,” Mark said, almost feeling angry on Jackson’s behalf. “You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

Jackson gave him an appreciative look. “That’s … really nice of you to say, Mark. I know, the situation is pretty shitty. But I’m going to graduate this year. And then I won’t have to do this anymore. I’ll get to pick where I want to go, what I want to do, and my parents can stop using me to try and hurt each other.”

Confused, Mark asked, “They use you?”

Jackson shrugged, stuffing the last of the desert in front of him, into his mouth. Then he reached for the nearby bowl of ice cream with strawberries and kiwi sprinkled over it. 

“Like indirectly?” Jackson stabbed a spoon into the ice cream. “Passive-aggressively?”

“What’s that mean?”

There was a look of indifference on Jackson’s face, and a hint of irritation, but Mark assumed that all to be more of a defensive mechanism than anything else.

Then Jackson elaborated, “One year my dad buys me a snow mobile so we can go on winter vacation together in the Alps. The next year my mom buys me a convertible I can drive around during the summer. Then my dad sends me half a dozen Rolex watches, and my mom retaliates by having Versace produce a fall themed wardrobe exclusively for me. And so on and so forth.”

“They’re trying to buy your love?” Mark asked. He was particularly unfamiliar with the concept. His parents had never done such a thing, entertained the idea of it, or even joked about material items being significant. Christmas and birthdays were big, but things never replaced or compensated for feelings in his family.

Jackson snorted. “I’m not sure they’re capable of love at this point. Anyway, this is way more about just one-upping each other, and I’m the way to do it.” He shook his head. “But that all ends when I’m eighteen. When I’m eighteen I’m out. I’m getting out, and I’m getting away.”

Mark leaned an elbow up on the table and rested his palm in his chin. With a lazy grin, he asked, “So what you’re telling me is you could have ended up one of those spoiled, pompous, elitist kids who think they’re entitled to the idea of superiority.”

“I … what?”

“But,” Mark continued on, “instead you’re down to earth, sensible, rational and not a total jerk.”

Jackson nodded a bit. “That last part. I understood that last part. I’m not a jerk.”

Hoisting himself forward, Mark said quietly to Jackson, “You’re also a lot smarter than you want me to think. Stop it acting otherwise.”

The corners of Jackson’s mouth perked up into a gentle smile. “You think I’m smart?”

With a one shoulder shrug, Mark snuck a bite from one of the dishes closer to Jackson. “I’ll need more concrete proof before I come to my final conclusion, but that’s my thesis for the moment.”

Jackson gave a happy kind of huff, and Mark was a little more sure he was doing the flirting thing right.

After stuffing themselves full of sweets, enough to guarantee Mark he’d be feeling it later that night and probably into the next morning, they ambled their way back out in the busy market.

“Let’s go over there,” Jackson suggested, pointing at a music shop across the street blaring out some kind of Korean pop music. 

“Sure,” Mark agreed, and wheeled his suitcase after Jackson.

For being a little corny and catering to a young, female demographic from the outside, Mark was pleased to find the inside aesthetic was much more his style. He owned almost no Korean music himself, other than some of the albums his sister had shared with him on itunes, and so he browsed the different sections of the store curiously. 

“You into the scene?” Jackson asked casually next to him, looking over an album himself.

“The scene?” Mark laughed a little. “Music?”

“In Korea,” Jackson corrected, “it’s a scene here. It’s an experience. It’s … that.”

Jackson was pointing, Mark realized when he glanced at him, to a nearby TV where to attractive men were dancing in synchronicity to catchy but fairly generic music. It reeked of being mainstream and the kind of music aimed at preteen girls. It wasn’t at all what Mark preferred to listen to.

“And what is that?”

Jackson squinted at the screen. “That’s actually Exo, but it’s kpop in general.”

“Ah,” Mark eased out. “Kpop. My sisters both listen to some of it.”

“You like it?” Jackson pried.

“I appreciate it,” Mark decided, turning back to the albums in front of him. “Those groups, from what I understand, can train for years and years on the mere promise of debuting, but no guarantee. And if they’re lucky enough to, the market is saturated, they typically don’t have any artistic control, they have to portray a certain imagine from sun up to sun down, and working hard doesn’t begin to cover what they have to.”

“True,” Jackson said with a serious nod. “Plus, they can’t date.”

Mark chuckled. “Is that what you’re choosing to focus on?”

“It’s important,” Jackson said, taking a step back in a playful way and nearly bouncing over to rack nearby. “Don’t get me wrong, your job is your job, but what’s the point of making money, traveling the world, and looking that good, if you don’t get to share anything with anyone?”

A little impressed, Mark admitted, “I guess your point does have some merit.”

Jackson plucked a couple albums from the shelf in front of him and held them up. “Even if kpop isn’t your thing, and I’m kind of thinking it isn’t because you’re in the hip-hop section, you should still give these guys a try. They write their own music, or some crazy good stuff for others. They have creative input at the very least, and they put out good shit.”

Mark reached for the albums being held out to him. “Big Bang’s G-Dragon and Shinee’s Jonghyun?”

Jackson tapped the top of Jonghyun’s album. “Good shit. Especially this one. Oh, and he wrote really good stuff for one of his members who had a debut, too.”

Taking a chance, Mark ended up buying both, and several other albums that had caught his eye. Jackson bought a few as well, and together they joked about some of the more cheesy kpop videos playing on the music shop’s televisions.

“What if that was us?” Jackson prompted, miming a couple of the dance moves in poor taste. “We could be those dorks up there.”

Laughing loudly, Mark denied, “That could never be us.”

“I know,” Jackson shot back, “we’re way too cool. But what if we were?”

Mark tapped his chin in exaggerated thought, then said, “We’d be in a group with a lot of members, probably. Six or seven at least. And we’d all have designations. I think you’d be the funny one, and I’d be the smart one.”

“You’d be the shy one,” Jackson corrected. “The shy but super loveable one. You’d be popular--there are always popular members of groups and unpopular ones, or at least less popular. You’d be popular and girls would want your autograph and you’d have to do greasy things for them.”

“Greasy?”

Jackson elaborated, “Like blow them kisses and say stuff about love and purity.”

Mark doubled over laughing.

“No, really, I have it all worked out.” Jackson reached out to put a hand on Mark’s shoulder seriously. “And our couple name would be Markson.”

“Markson?” Mark deadpanned for a half second before he was laughing again.

“All groups have popular ships. Like Woohyun and Sunggyu from Infinite are Woogyu. And Chanyeol and Baekhyun from Exo are Baekyeol. So we’d be Markson.”

Wheezing a little, his chest pulled tight from the laughing, Mark pointed out, “I think you know a little too much about this, Jackson. You’re making me a little worried.”

A little more seriously, Jackson said, “It would be pretty painfully awkward to be a grown man in a kpop boy group when you think about it, but there’s some pretty good things about it, too. You’ve always got someone with you--and it’s hard to feel lonely when you’re not alone. And lots of group members talk about meeting their best friends in their group or in the scene. Not to mention, if you can survive the first couple years on ramen and water, eventually you start to make pretty decent money.”

Mark gave that some serious thought, trying to imagine what it would be like to spend twenty or more hours in a day with Jackson. It would be weird to eat his meals with Jackson, go to bed in the same room as him, and get to know Jackson better than he knew himself.

“That wouldn’t be so bad,” Mark agreed, giving Jackson an honest look. “Now that I think about it, not having to worry about being lonely, would be really nice.”

After the music shop they headed down a crowded street that sold little trinkets. Jackson seemed to buy indiscriminately, shoving bags into his already crowded suitcase with a nearly endless stream of money.

Mark himself picked out small tokens of affection for his parents, his two sisters, and his younger brother. He didn’t have a lot of money himself, not since he hadn’t had a job his senior year in the States so he could concentrate on keeping his grades perfect. His parents wanted him to get an internship of some kind while he was in Korea, but Mark was already leaning towards the idea of a part time job. He wanted to have some spending money when he got to college in several months.

“You have any pets?” Jackson asked when they strolled past a pet store with puppies in the window. Jackson knelt down to tap the glass softly, making funny faces at the puppies that were climbing over each other to press against the glass in front of Jackson.

“At home? In California?” Mark asked, kneeling down himself. “Nope. But I always wanted a dog. My sister Grace is allergic to fur and the sort. My parents just didn’t want the fuss involved with trying to find a dog that worked.”

Jackson cut him a quick look. “My dad bought me a dog when he was divorcing my mom--one of those five thousand dollar ones that you’re not even really supposed to play with. And my mom, not to be outdone, bought me a horse, the kind that you keep on a ranch somewhere and get to see once a year maybe. Seriously, they don’t think these things through.”

“It’s not like I can get one anytime soon, either,” Mark pointed out. “I’m going to college. That means four years in the dorms.”

Jackson nudged Mark as the smallest puppy in the pile managed to squeak his way to the top of the mound. 

“Cute,” Mark agreed.

Straightening up, Jackson said, “You don’t have to live in the dorm, do you?”

Mark stood as well. “The first year I do. Then I can move off campus if I want, but having a dog while trying to go to school, at least without help, would be crazy. And who would I be able to trust my dog with, anyway?”

They were walking down the street again before Jackson asked, “So you don’t have someone? A boyfriend or a girlfriend?”

Mark frowned a little at the sudden shift of tone in Jackson’s voice. It was a little prying, Mark felt, but Jackson wasn’t looking at him, so it was hard to get a fix on just what was going on with the question.

What Mark sort of hoped, if he was completely on top of what was really happening between them, was that this was Jackson’s way of trying to see if he could make a play. And Mark, who was maybe a little too quiet for his own good, was certainly not a passive person. Though neither was he the type to make the first move.

Mark shot back, “Me? What about you?”

“Nah,” Jackson said without hesitation. “People get tired of me pretty fast. I’ve been known to be exhausting. I don’t have a problem finding people to date, I do have trouble keeping them around.”

Jackson was, Mark had to admit, energetic. He was always moving, always doing, always talking. He was a ball of life. But it was kind of refreshing, even if it could be jarring at times. Mark almost felt some of Jackson’s energy rub off on him, and the truth of it all was that Jackson was fun. Jackson made anything and everything fun. There was nothing boring about Jackson, and something quite endearing. 

“I had a boyfriend,” Mark said, noting the way Jackson stumbled a little. He tried to keep his voice even and his heart rate down. “Last year I had one, right at the start of junior year. I’d dated him for a couple of years. But things between us … they just …” Mark felt his gut clench up at the painful memories. He insisted instead, “We broke up because we just couldn’t make it work. I needed to concentrate on school, and he didn’t think I was giving enough time to the relationship--he felt like I was neglecting him. It didn’t end well between us.”

It wasn’t quite that simple of course. And what had transpired between them had been a mixture of cruelty and damaging events that had pushed Mark into the need for therapy. His ex had hurt him, hurt him terribly, and nearly even broken him. And if Mark was truthful to himself, he was still dealing with the fallout. 

It was his hope, and the main reason for coming to Korea, that he’d be able to fully move past the events with time.

Jackson asked, “So you’re single now? Sexy, free and single?”

“Am I missing something?”

Jackson arched an eyebrow. “Super Junior? Kpop’s royalty boy group?”

“Okay,” Mark said, poking a finger into Jackson’s side, “you, mister, know entirely too much about kpop. Fess up, you’re secretly a fan boy.”

“I just like music,” Jackson said. “All kinds of music. And you didn’t answer my question.”

Mark’s head dipped. “I’m single.”

“And ready to mingle?”

With a grin, Mark said, “Can’t rule anything out.”

“Good to know,” Jackson said quietly. “Good to know.”

It was hard to keep track of the passage of time. As Mark and Jackson strolled around, visiting all the different shops and vender stalls, neither one of them made any kind of an effort to keep up on it. But eventually the sun did decide to dip, and Mark’s phone was buzzing in his pocket.

“Mind if I grab this?” Mark asked from where he was standing next to Jackson in a shoe store, the other boy bending down to check the fit of a pair he was considering buying.

“I’ve got an eye on your stuff,” Jackson assured.

Mark groaned a little at the reminder. Their bags had sort of piled up over the hours. Even with Mark trying to make smart and frugal purchases, there was almost too much to carry around.

“Junior,” Mark said, unlocking his phone and answering. “All finished with work?”

“Finally,” his cousin said in a huffy way. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

Mark turned to look back to Jackson who was giving small, ridiculously adorable jumps in the red and black shoes. “I’m …”

“We can get dinner. It’s pretty late, but we can sneak something in.”

There was a pit of some kind of dread growing in Mark’s stomach at the idea of parting with Jackson. He was having the best time, better than anything he could have predicted or expected. He didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t want to part with Jackson.

“Actually,” Mark said, waving a little at Jackson who’d caught his eye an was doing cheerleader moves in the shoes while nearby sales girls giggled at his actions. “Actually, Junior, I’ve got a dinner date. But I’ll be home before it gets too late. I’ll grab a taxi.”

He could picture the look of confusion on Junior’s face as he asked, “You what? Mark, do you know anyone in Seoul? Who could you be getting dinner with?”

“I made a friend,” Mark said a bit defensively, flashing Jackson a thumbs up for the shoes. “I can make those, cousin.”

“I know, I know,” Junior laughed. “Is it a boy?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Junior eased out. “Nothing, Mark. Okay, have a good dinner with a friend who may or may not be male. But don’t come home too late. You have to get up early to register at the high school. I’ve got to go in early, too, for student council business, but you won’t get enough sleep if you get in too late.”

“Okay, okay, mom,” Mark teased. “I won’t be too late. Don’t worry. See you tonight.”

“Oh, Mark?”

Inside the store Mark could see Jackson at the cash register, handing over a shiny credit card to pay for the shoes. More than once that day already Jackson had attempted to use his card to buy things for Mark. But that seemed in poor taste to Mark, and it wasn’t something that he wanted to be associated with. Mark, if he wanted anything from Jackson, needed it in no way to be associated with money.

“Yeah?”

There was a pause, then Junior said, “If it is a boy, and if he’s cute and you like him, kiss him, okay? Kiss him. Your ex is a douche. Don’t let him and the things he said to you, impact taking a chance on someone else.”

Tryingly, Mark sighed out, “Goodbye.”

By the time the call ended, Jackson had his shoes in a bag and was gesturing for them to get going.

“Important phone call?” Jackson asked as they began gathering up their massive shopping bag pile.

“My cousin,” Mark said with honestly. “He’s off work finally. He wanted to know where I was.”

Jackson’s body physically locked up. “So … you’re out of here?”

“Hardly,” Mark said, giving him a pointed look. “I told him I met someone--made a friend. So if you still want to hang out with me, then I still want to hang out with you.”

Jackson’s shoulder sagged a little in relief. “I’m not going anywhere. I mean, I still want to hang out with you. We still have time. We can--”

Boldly, Mark asked, “Do you want to get dinner?” The idea of any more sweets was one that churned Mark’s stomach, but he could go for something savory or spicy. “With me?”

Jackson, lips trembling a little, “Will you let me pay?”

Mark tightened his grip on his bags. “Only if you let me pay next time.” He hoped what he was implying was clear enough.

The way Jackson’s face lit up, he kind of figured it was.

Dinner, rather than the impromptu late lunch they’d had much earlier in the day, was something a little more calm and intimate. 

They ended up sharing a table in a quiet restaurant toward the back of the dinning space. Their knees were practically touching under the table, and when Jackson let his fingers purposely brush against Mark’s--and it had to be in a purposeful way--Mark let his own touch linger. It had been quite a while since anyone had attempted to hold his hand, and he’d forgotten how nice the sensation could be.

“So what about you?” Mark asked as their meal progressed. “What do you plan on doing after you graduate? College?”

Jackson made a face. “My parents are pushing for it, both of them, but I think it’s just so they can fight over who gets to pay. But I don’t know.”

Gingerly, Mark reminded, “I know college seems to be the default option that parents push towards, and for good reason, but it certainly isn’t for everyone. It takes a certain kind of person to do that kind of upper level education, and people are so radically different it’s important not to generalize. Maybe you should just take a break? Go visit some places around the world and get some perspective. Or what about a trade school?”

Jackson gave a shrug.

“Well,” Mark added, “you don’t have to decide now. You have plenty of time. But just, don’t let anyone pressure you into something that doesn’t feel right to you. Don’t let someone hurt you like that.”

Jackson’s eyes narrowed. “Someone did that to you?”

Mark tried not to wince. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound so dramatic.”

“Dramatic?” Jackson scoffed. “Someone was clearly an asshole to you about this subject. Or something else? Your parents?”

“No, no,” Mark said quietly. “I’ve always known I wanted to go to college, ever since I was a kid.”

“But someone--”

“Jackson,” Mark said softly. 

Jackson fell silent, slumping a little in his seat.

There was so much Mark could have said, even some things he wanted to. But his tongue was swelling in his mouth, maybe only psychologically, but it was still impossible for him to get much out.

“I guess that’s your business,” Jackson said finally.

Mark put on a brave face. “It’s a learning curve, Jackson.”

“What is?”

“Life,” he supplied. “And school, along with how much you want to do of it, is part of that.”

“How steep is the curve?” Jackson pried. “Because I think we deserve a break, considering we’re just starting to figure this life thing out.”

Mark rubbed a hand over his forehead and offered, “Kind of makes you appreciate being a kid just a little bit more, right? All that nativity? None of the hard, life choices?”

In a swooning kind of way, Jackson added, “Afternoon snacks, naps, those awesome little dump trucks that you can load up with sand and drive around while making noises.”

Mark found himself feeling brighter almost immediately, and said, “See, this is what I like best about you, Jackson. You always have something positive to say. You’re always … you just make me feel better.”

Jackson shot back, “I like that you’re so calm. I like that you make me feel stable. Honestly, I’ve got a million things on my mind all the time, and sometimes I act a lot faster than I think. But today, since I met you, it’s almost like I can slow down. I never feel like I can slow down and take it easy.”

“Then we’re good for each other,” Mark pointed out. “We’re counter balances.”

“You read my mind. We should get married now. We’re clearly perfect for each other.”

“Eat your dinner,” Mark said, pointing at the meal that they were only half through. “We’ll talk marriage and babies later.”

“Babies!” Jackson laughed out. “I never said anything about babies.”

Mark blushed furiously.

“But for the record,” Jackson said, leering a little, “I want at least two. Gotta have a boy and a girl.”

Jackson was ridiculous, and Mark, he was a little afraid of how much he liked that ridiculousness. 

After dinner, with the sun down and their bellies full, Mark could no longer put off the inevitable.

“It’s time?” Jackson asked. He leaned forward and his fingers caught Mark’s wrist, startling him and holding on like there was nothing else to do.

Trying to lighten the mood, Mark said, “Don’t be so dramatic. We had a full, wonderful day, and before I get into that cab over there, I’m going to write your phone number down and call you tomorrow. Jackson, we’re both here in Seoul for at least the next five months. I think we’re going to see each other again.”

Jackson leaned more than a little into Mark’s personal space, using his wrist to tug him in as well. He said softly but clearly, “I really like you, Mark.”

Mark found himself grinning so hard it nearly hurt. “I like you too, Jackson. Now don’t get distracted and let me get your number.”

They exchanged phone numbers, and in a thankful way it didn’t feel like they were saying goodbye in any way. If anything their parting just made Mark more excited for the next time they’d see each other.

“And you’re going to call me, right?” Jackson questioned, eyes narrowing. “Like, actually call soon? Because if you tell me you are, and then you don’t I’m going to blow up your phone. Don’t make me be that guy, Mark.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Firstly, don’t blow up my phone. I’ll block your number. And secondly, I have to go to school tomorrow, the same as you, but I’ll call you after.”

Mark raised his hand towards a nearby cab and it swerved towards him.

“Sounds good,” Jackson said, and finally he let go of Mark’s wrist.

Mark felt the phantom sensation of the pressure that Jackson’s fingers had exerted on his skin.

“Thank you,” Mark said, turning back to Jackson as the cabbie hopped out and began loading Mark’s things up into the trunk of the car. “For everything. I was a little worried about coming here, to a place that I don’t have much familiarity with. But today was great, and it’s because of you. I’m really happy I met you.”

There was a softness to Jackson’s eyes when he smiled at Mark, and Mark wondered if this was the real Jackson he was seeing for the first time. Underneath Jackson’s bravado was likely a soft, sweet boy. And Mark hated that circumstances had made Jackson’s exterior so hard.

“This is the best day I’ve had in … well, since I was really young,” Jackson returned. “I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone like you, Mark. What you make me feel … I don’t want to scare you, but you make me feel alive.”

“You keep me on my toes,” Mark reasoned back, his heart pounding furiously in his chest. “Counterbalance, remember?”

“Call me,” Jackson urged as the cab driver shut the drunk and slipped back in the car. “Or text me. Whatever. We should get together this weekend. We still have more of Seoul to see, and we have to get started on that.”

“Plus,” Mark said, popping open the back door nearest him, “I still have to pay for our next dinner.”

Jackson called after him, “Sorry, Mark, but I don’t let my dates pay. You’re just going to have to get used to letting me treat you.”

“We’ll see about that.” Mark really liked the challenge of seeing who would foot the bill. It was a healthy, friendly kind of competition, and one that could only lead to more dinners and lunches and maybe even breakfasts.

“Okay,” Jackson said, and he stood clear of the cab for safety, his eyes never leaving Mark’s body. “See you soon.”

Mark suddenly remembered is cousin’s words echoing in his mind. Junior had said, with Jackson as the context, to not let his previous experiences mar any future ones he hoped to have. Junior had said, brashly even, to grab up his courage to make the first move. Kiss Jackson. His cousin had said to kiss Jackson.

And sure, Mark felt sick at the idea, at the chance he was taking on a person he hardly knew, but that was natural and normal and healthy even. Life was about taking chances, and he couldn’t be scared of that. He’d come too far and done too much soul searching to turn into a pile of complacent jelly.

“Jackson?”

“Yeah?”

Mark gripped the door handle one last time for strength, then sucked in a deep breath and took three giant steps towards Jackson. His hands came up like they were working on autopilot to cup Jackson’s face, and he pressed his mouth firmly over Jackson’s. 

Before his brain could wholly catch up with what his body was doing, Jackson’s hands were at his waist, tugging them against each other, and Jackson was tilting his head to deepen their kiss.

It was the first time Mark had been kissed by someone so tentatively. None of Mark’s kisses in the past had had the hint of delicacy that this one did, as if Jackson was utterly afraid to hurt him, and prioritizing his needs above anyone else’s.

And the quality of the kiss showed immediately.

Mark was quite drawn into the timid but promising movements of Jackson’s mouth against his, their lips a little awkward, but not uncomfortably so. And then the intensity of the kiss was climbing by the way Jackson kept one had at Mark’s waist, and the other at the small of his back. Those two hands, anchoring him in place, helped Mark feel every change in depth of the kiss, every tiny movement, and even the slightest hint of tongue that was only there for a half second.

“You …” Mark said, breathless and dizzy as he pulled back for oxygen.

“Are you okay?” Jackson asked with concern creasing his features. This thumb was stroking idly against the fabric of Mark’s shirt, applying just enough pressure for it to be a soothing motion. “Did I … overstep?”

“I’m the one who kissed you,” Mark reminded, trying to steady himself.

“Oh, I know,” Jackson said, sounding dazed himself.

With the cabbie impatient behind him, Mark took a fumbling step backwards and grasped for the door. “I … uh … I need to go. My cousin. Yeah, I … uh, I have to go.”

Jackson reminded blissfully, “You kissed me.”

“I’ll call you,” Mark said, and flopped unceremoniously down into the seat of the cab. 

As the cab pulled away, Mark turned to look out the window, and he could see Jackson standing near the curb, one hand raised towards him, the other creeping up towards his lips. The sight was a little funny, but mostly adorable, and Mark sunk down in his seat in response.

What was it about Jackson that created such a pull in Mark?

Whatever it was, Mark felt like he was in the beginning stages of addiction, and Jackson was most certainly a drug.

Eventually, however, Mark’s mind turned towards more practical things, like getting settled in the house he was steadily approaching, the upcoming registration he’d do the following day, and what the next semester would entail. 

Junior was there to greet him, throwing open the front door the second the cab had stopped in front of the house. And Mark was barely out of the cab before his cousin was sprinting towards him and wrapping him up in a huge hug.

“Mark,” Junior gushed out, kissing the side of his head in almost a motherly way. “You’re here. Finally.”

“I’m here,” Mark laughed, and then the both of them moved to help with Mark’s suitcase and the bags.

“You’re lucky,” Junior said as he led Mark into the house, the both of them a little bulky with the bags. “Both the brats moved out earlier this year, so you get their room all to yourself.”

Mark shook his head as they navigated a narrow hallway up to the second level of the house. “Junior, both your sisters are older than you. I’m pretty sure that makes you the bratty little brother.”

Junior gave him a paralyzing look. “That’s irrelevant.”

The room that Mark remembered being pink and almost glittery, from the last time he’d visited when Junior’s sisters had been in middle school, was now painted a soft lavender color. The shade of purple wasn’t ideal for a boy, but the more Mark looked at it, the more soothing he found it. And the room itself was clean. Both beds were made, everything was free of dust, and Mark’s aunt clearly kept the room in pristine condition regardless if it was used or not.

“So,” Junior asked, heaving Mark’s suitcase up on one of the beds. “How was the flight?”

“A little bumpy,” Mark admitted, “but not too bad.”

“And,” Junior continued, honestly in a way that sounded a little sleazy to Mark, “who’s this boy you met? This ‘friend’ of yours.”

Mark could hear the quotation marks Junior implied. 

“I didn’t say it was a boy,” Mark cut out.

“It was,” Junior said.

Slowly, an almost with a glare, Mark replied, “If you must know, it was a boy. I kind of ran him over at the airport, but that turned out to be a good thing. We just … hit it off, I guess. He’s funny and cute and god why are you making that face at me?”

“This face?” Junior asked, pointing to himself.

“Yes,” Mark clarified. “That face.” It was a smirking kind of face, one that did not suit his cousin well.

Junior sat on the edge of the bed, next to the suit case and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Come on, Mark. Let me be happy. I didn’t think it would be until you were in college, before you let someone make a move on you.”

Mark turned his back to Junior so he could browse through his bags, commenting, “I’m not some wounded animal, you know.”

“No,” Junior agreed somberly. “But you could have been. You could have easily been, if you were even a little bit weak, and not the strong person that you are.” Junior was quiet for a minute, falling back on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling, hands resting on his stomach, then asked, “You ready for tomorrow?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Mark said, turning to look at him. “Anything I should know about in the category of brace for impact?”

Junior sat up suddenly, musing out, “Nah, not really. Academically you’re in a league of your own, Mark. The school is pretty demanding in that department, but it isn’t anything you won’t be able to handle. And I’m in student council, so I’ll get you in an after school activity to appease that requirement. Most of the kids are nice, so you’re covered in that department as well.”

“Most?” Mark echoed.

A dark look clouded over Junior’s face. “Well, there are some assholes.”

Mark gave a pause. He knew that Junior was particularly close with two boys, Yugyeom and Youngjae. They were, as far as friends went, reliable and loyal, and Mark had even chatted a few times with them over face time. They both seemed to be really nice and were good to Junior, which was all Mark needed of them. He was actually looking forward to meeting them finally.

And he was also aware of a certain individual that his cousin was practically engaged in a blood feud with. Well, maybe the term blood feud was a bit dramatic, but if there was anyone Junior had a problem with, it was one specific boy.

Mark asked, “Jaebum?”

“Of course,” Junior confirmed with a scowl. “He’s only gotten worse this year, Mark. He’s more determined than ever.”

Sighing, Mark sat on his bed. “I really wish you’d tell me what he did to you.”

Suddenly, and almost in a startling way, Mark saw Junior’s face hardening. Junior, who was so open and easy to read, suddenly shut down, and Mark almost felt as if he was in the room with a stranger. And then finally Junior said, “I just wish he’d leave me alone. It’s not about the past. It’s about the future. I’ve come to accept the past and what happened. I don’t understand why he can’t.”

Mark pointed out, “You’re always avoiding the question. Junior. He did something to you, but you never say what it is.”

Junior was tightlipped.

Sighing Mark asked, “Can you at least tell me why he’s irritating you so much right now? He’s bugging you?”

With a grimace, Junior said, “It’s more that he just won’t leave me alone. He ran against me last semester for student council president.” Junior shook his head. “He knew this was my semester to shine. He knew it was the position I’d been working towards since freshmen year. But he ran on a platform extremely similar to mine, trying to beat me out for the position.”

“But you won,” Mark pointed out.

Junior continued, “Then he joined the baseball team. Mark, I’ve been on the team for two years. He’d never once shown an interest in baseball--he played on the basketball team previous. But the second I made co-captain, he was there, playing so well I was forced to put him on the team.”

“Junior--”

“Did I mention he’s in my music class now? Never was before. Now he is. He’s everywhere, Mark. He’s everywhere, making me uncomfortable, and he knows it. He knows I want peace and space. He knows I want to let this pettiness end. But he’s there every time I turn around. Him and his friends. Which reminds me. I want you to keep away from him and his friends. No matter what, Mark. You promise me.”

“Did he hurt you?” Mark asked, furious at the idea. “Did he physically hurt you in some way?”

Junior palmed at his eyes. “No.”

Fear gripped Mark. “Did he … did he try and … Junior …”

“No!” Junior shouted. “Mark.”

Shuddering a little, Mark insisted, “If he touched you in some way, some bad way like that, and you didn’t want it, you can tell me. Junior, you know I’ll always be loyal to you. You’re my cousin. I’ll never betray you. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Junior looked away for a second, eyes too wet to let Mark settle down in any way, then cleared his throat and said, “He didn’t hurt me like that, Mark, I promise. He’s not like that. He …I just …”

Mark was a particularly calm person. He’d always been. His sisters were rather hotheaded, and his brother had the ability to throw a tantrum as if he were still a toddler. But Mark had never been like that. Not much worked him up, not much sent him into a stupor or rage, and very little could push Mark over the edge.

But he absolutely would not stand for anyone hurting his family. It didn’t even matter what the details were. If this Jaebum had harmed his cousin in any way, it was enough to declare war.

“Don’t you remember what Aunt Eunji always says?” Mark posed with a deliberate tone. 

Junior gave an exaggerated snort. “Aunt Eunji claims she has mafia ties, but mom says she’s just slightly unbalanced, and she refuses to take her medication half the time. That’s why we can’t go see her anymore, at least not outside of visiting hours.”

“But I mean, I fully believe she’s crazy enough to back up what she said. She could make a certain someone disappear. I know you believe that too.”

An odd sort of silence fell over them, at least until Junior asked, “Do you think there’s something wrong with us?”

“Huh?”

“I mean …” Junior took a deep breath. “We’re both too trusting with people. We both tend to believe the best in people, right up until the second they hurt us. That’s not normal, right? Is it? Is something wrong with us?”

Mark shot back, “You think it’s a bad thing we give people the benefit of the doubt?”

“We both got burned, didn’t we? Badly.”

Maybe.

Mark didn’t really know what to think of the conversation they were having. It was true that both he and Junior had been accused of being too kind in the past. They were trusting and generous and Mark generally looked for the best in people. Maybe that meant they opened themselves up to the worst kinds of people. Or maybe they were bound to run into those people no matter what. In any instance, Mark could only hold to the belief that people were inherently good, but there’d always be a few bad seeds.

Changing the subject, Mark interjected, “I’m really looking forward to spending some time here.” Mark drew his knees up onto the bed and tucked in carefully. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to get back here.”

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Junior insisted, shaking his head. “We’re going to have a great time, Mark, before we have to go off to college and get separated again. But Mark, I hope you don’t feel like you have to be here. You could be laying on a beach, relaxing and drinking little virgin daiquiris with those cute umbrellas in them. And it’s not too late to run.” Junior used two fingers to indicate from his eyes to Mark’s. “Listen to me, cousin. If you want to run, I will help you. I will help you leave the country.”

Mark reached for a nearby pillow and threw it at Junior. “I did get all this worked out with the university. I’m getting college credit for this study abroad program.”

“I’m just saying,” Junior whispered dramatically at him. “If you need me to, I will get you out of this country, Mark. I can smuggle you to Canada. Jut think about it.”

Mark threw a second pillow.


	2. Two

In the morning, still feeling a little jet lagged, Mark staggered to the shower, got dressed, and then drank down a large cup of coffee before giving Junior a firm nod and indicating he was ready to go. 

Good naturedly, Junior asked, “Still jetlagged?”

“Mrughum.”

A little louder, Junior laughed and tugged Mark to his side affectionately. “I don’t speak morning gibberish, Mark.”

Sighing, Mark let his head tip on Junior’s shoulder. And Junior, proving in Mark’s book that he was the best cousin ever, let him stand there for several more minutes.

But half an hour later, with the sun having yet been up long enough to warm anything, Mark took a step down from the bus he’d ridden on and looked up at the school he’d attend for the next several months.

Part of the reason Mark’s parents had pushed so hard for him to come to Korea, and to fill his extra time with meaningless credits, was because of the school that Junior attended. They’d been instantly swayed by the school’s business and political science focus, and the prestigious history attached to it. They had no way of knowing that Mark would have agreed to anything that took him away from California and the person who hurt him deeply.

And honestly Mark had liked the idea of getting to go to school with Junior for the first time in a very long time, and an additional draw had been the diverse school population. The academy boasted students from several different countries, claimed to be exceptionally multicultural, and would foster both Mark’s English and Korean.

“Well?” Junior asked from next to him, bouncing a little on his feet. “Looks nice, right?”

Mark had to nod. The structure in front of him with its pristine white walls and pretty blue trim was open and airy in its architecture, boasting multiple courtyards, plenty of greenery, and a welcoming atmosphere. Plenty of students were standing around, chatting with each other, each of them looking immaculate in their uniforms. The sight reminded Mark that his own uniform wouldn’t be ready until the following day, and for the moment, he stood out like a sore thumb.

“Come on,” Junior said, threading his arm through Mark’s. “I’ll take you up to the main office. Then we’ll get you checked in and ready to go.”

It was, as far as first day procedures went, a fairly painless process. There was paperwork, an almost endless amount of paperwork, and a meeting with the several staff members for various reasons. But then Mark had a copy of the student handbook in his possession, several informational packets about the school, and his class assignment. 

Before Junior had left him in the office to attend to his own school responsibilities, he’d promised to meet Mark for lunch, introduce him to his friends, and show him around the school. That made it somewhat less harsh of a blow when Mark arrived at his class and for the first time since he’d arrived in Korea, and felt utterly alone.

School in Korea was … challenging. Mark had known that going in. Class was more structured, more demanding, and certainly more stifling. The nearly oppressive environment made Mark long for the shuffle of American high school classes, the sense of freedom, and the off campus privileges that upperclassmen enjoyed.

Still, Mark had always been one to enjoy school. While most of his friends were busy complaining about the demands of their classes, and their attendance records, Mark had flourished under the weight of essays and deadlines. So acclimating to the heavy workload of his new school, wasn’t an issue.

Neither did so many academic demands leave time for Mark to worry about fitting in. He didn’t need to fuss over the idea that he wouldn’t be accepted, or that there’d be bullying. Instead he looked up several times over the next few hours to find he was the least of most student’s concerns, and to a lot of them, he didn’t even exist.

Except there was one kid sitting in the back of the class, overly attractive in a ridiculous kind of way. He had the face and hair of one of the boys that danced in the groups Jackson pretended not to like, but Mark suspected he really actually did. That guy, whoever he was, kept giving Mark interested looks, open and facially blunt like Jackson was.

Jackson. Mark hadn’t let himself think about Jackson since the night before. He still had all the plans in the world to call him, but it was a little disconcerting to contemplate how much he was looking forward to making the call and scheduling something. However Mark forced himself not to focus on the idea of what Jackson could be, and instead to concentrate on the lesson in front of him.

By the time lunch came around, and Mark checked his phone to find several messages from Junior informing him he was running a couple of minutes late, Mark made his way out into the main courtyard.

Most students were clustered around in small groups of uniformed blue and white, lunches spread out in front of them, chatting easily.

Mark wandered a bit, waiting for Junior to finish up with his business. The day had gotten warmer, the sun was pleasant and not harsh, and the scene in front of him almost felt like a moving picture--like an oil painting unfolding in front of him. The trees were dropping pink and purple blossoms, and Mark wanted to keep the feeling of serenity with him always. Or at least until he went back to the States, started college, and became so stressed out his hair started falling out.

Mark had heard the horror stories about that last one.

He was so distracted by simply enjoying himself that he was thrown completely off balance when a warm weight bumped firmly into him, spinning him a bit as unexpected laughter echoed. 

“Mark!”

It took him far too long to place the voice, then the realization slammed into Mark like a train and he was reacting on instinct alone.

Jackson, his brain told him. It was Jackson.

“--doing here?”

Mark was only then aware that he’d wrapped his arms around Jackson in an odd kind of hug. He’d done it mainly for balance in the beginning, but somewhere along the way it had become about wanting to experience a brief moment of intimacy with Jackson. Jackson who made Mark’s heart beat hard and palms sweat.

“Mark?”

“Sorry,” Mark said, forcing as mile. He took in Jackson more wholly, frowning at the sight of the boy in a school uniform. “You go here?”

“I go here?” Jackson parroted back. “Since when do you go here?”

Mark found the smile on his face splitting wider. “You know, we both talked about going to school, and neither of us mentioned what school that was.”

Jackson plucked at the school vest he wore. “Yeah, this place is pretty pretentious, so my mom loves it. That’s the only reason I go here. That and they let me speak English a lot, and my English is better than my Korean.”

Mark found himself leaning towards Jackson almost without realizing it, smelling Jackson’s spicy scented aftershave, soaking in the sight of him.

“My parents liked the flashy name and credentials too,” Mark said back. 

Jackson’s eyes dropped down over Mark, scanning him from head to toe. “Uniform tomorrow?”

Mark nodded. For the day he was wearing black slacks and a button down dark blue shirt. It was a flattering outfit, and one that fell within the dress code, but he would be glad to get into a uniform tomorrow. “I needed a last second fitting. I’m doing that this afternoon.”

A little breathless, Jackson eased out, “I can’t believe you go to this school. I thought there was a pretty good chance I’d never see you again.” Jackson’s voice dropped. “I know you said you would call, and yesterday we …”

Kissed. They’d kissed. Mark had impulsively kissed Jackson, going out on a whim that they were feeling the same thing, and wanted the same thing. 

The fact that Jackson had kissed him back, and with some kind of gentle but deliberate fervor, told Mark he hadn’t been completely wrong.

“I had plans to call you right after school let out,” Mark assured, not fully understanding why he felt relieved himself, as Jackson sighed softly. 

“But this is better,” Jackson said suddenly.

Mark couldn’t help agreeing, “This is much better.”

Mark was moving to ask Jackson something else when he spotted the boy from his class heading in their direction. He still looked curious and his attention was still focused on Mark as he strolled forward. Mark saw his eyes slide to Jackson in a familiar kind of way.

“Hey,” Jackson called out, raising a hand to him. “JB, come meet Mark.”

“Your friend?” Mark asked as the boy in question joined their small group.

“Mark?” JB asked, an eyebrow arching. “Your Mark?”

Jackson’s face twitched a little, and Mark felt a flush of pleasure at the choice of words.

“Mark,” Jackson ground out a little more deliberately, “This is my best friend here, JB. He’s a total looser, but I need someone to follow me around and give me water when I’m thirsty.”

JB rolled his eyes and introduced, “I’m really the only kid at this school who’s willing to put up with this this ball of irritation. I argue there should be compensation for the task.”

Mark found himself laughing a little, then pointed out, “You’re in my class.”

JB nodded. “I saw you. It’s not often we get new students, and not ones from America. Most Americans go to the international school instead. I had no idea you were the same Mark that Jackson blew me off yesterday for.”

“Oh,” Mark said a bit awkwardly.

“Dude,” Jackson said, crossing his arms. “Come on.”

“It’s fine,” JB added, waving the both of them off. “Honestly, I’m glad that someone else is here to shoulder the burden of you now, Jackson.”

Jackson shot back, “What about BamBam? He’s my friend, too.”

At the odd name, Mark asked, “BamBam?”

“Young kid, about yay high,” JB told him, putting a hand down pretty low. “Trust me, call him BamBam. His actual name is … complicated. We’ll introduce you to him, okay? He should be coming out of the building over there any second.”

It took Mark a moment to realize that he’d been accepted by Jackson’s friends so easily. Well, just one so far, but a best friend probably counted for an awful lot, and everything in the way JB spoke implied that he thought Mark would get along well with the boy who was supposedly coming to join them. 

“You’re going to let me buy you lunch, right?” Jackson inquired, pushing his shoulder up against Mark’s. “As a welcome present?”

Mark cut him a smile. “I think it’s my turn to buy us food.”

“I don’t know,” Jackson said a little haughtily. “I don’t think this should count, because it’s standard operating procedure to buy lunch for the new guy when you like him.”

Mark choked out, “Standard operating procedure.”

Jackson nodded and reinforced, “When you like the new guy and especially when he’s super hot.”

Next to them, JB snorted loudly.

Mark’s eyes cut to him in an embarrassed way, but he could still clearly hear Jackson say, “Our love is true and pure, JB. Don’t be jealous you’re going to end up old and withered and alone, chasing bratty kids off your lawn.”

JB didn’t miss a beat to say, “With my luck they’ll be your bratty kids, Jackson, and if that’s the case, I’ll particularly enjoy chasing them.”

There was a round of good natured chuckling that went around, and then Jackson was pulling a little at Mark, stating, “Come on, I know this really good place we can get to fast, while we still have time. We’ll even let JB tag along so he’ll stop being so bitter and jealous of what we have.”

“Yes,” JB sighed out, “Your twenty-four hour love affair.”

Mark was moving to protest leaving before his cousin arrived when a voice was calling out, “Mark?”

It wasn’t his cousin’s voice, but his name was said with such familiarity that Mark was turning instinctively, looking for someone he knew. 

Mark was more than a little surprised to see Youngjae coming his way. Mark hadn’t expected to meet up with him for the first time in person until after class, and even with the limited size of the school, he hadn’t seen him earlier.

But as surprised as Mark was, it was good to see his cousin’s friend. And he looked even more handsome in person, rather than as a slightly blurry picture over a video call.

Mark raised a hand to him and smiled. “Youngjae!”

He was expecting to shake Youngjae’s hand, or get a pat on the back. He certainly wasn’t expect to be pull nearly off his feet, thrust behind the younger boy, and end up so dizzy he wasn’t sure what was going on.

“What the hell!” he heard Jackson demand, 

Youngjae asked, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Mark was just confused. Jackson and JB both looked irritated and angry, and from what Mark could see Youngjae was radiating hostility

“Us?” JB snapped. “Get out of here. Before you really piss me off.”

Youngjae laughed wryly. “Do you think I’m going to leave Mark alone with the likes of you?”

Furiously, Jackson demanded, “You think I’d hurt Mark?”

“I don’t even know how you know him,” Youngjae returned. “And I don’t care. But you’re going to leave him alone now, or--”

“Or what!”

“Stop!” Mark stepped deftly around Youngjae to stand in between the two sides. “What’s happening? Why are you fighting?”

The anger from Youngjae’s face softened as he asked Mark, “Are you okay? Did they mess with you? Junior got caught up for a few extra seconds. He wanted me to come out and see if I could spot you. He was worried you’d think he ditched out on you.”

JB’s voice had an odd sort of waver in it when he asked, “Junior?”

“Don’t,” Youngjae hissed at him. “Don’t you even say his name. And I don’t know what you think you’re doing with his cousin, but you’d better back off.”

Jackson echoed faintly, “Cousin?”

Eyes narrowing, Mark told Youngjae, “These are my friends, Youngjae. And you’re being rude to them.” Jackson was more than just a friend, but Mark thought it was way more important to figure out what was going on, and why he felt like he was standing in between two charging armies.

“Friends?” Youngjae demanded.

At the same time, JB said more quietly, “I didn’t know this was Junior’s cousin.”

And before Mark could attempt to further settle the situation, Yugyeom was there, trying to create a wall with Youngjae in front of Mark, snappishly demanding himself to know what was going on.

Mark felt a little winded and leaned forward to put his hands on his knees and angle his head down.

He could hear Youngjae saying, “--scum, you know that? It’s not enough to hurt Junior? You have to go after his cousin too?”

“Mark?” Jackson asked, voice thin and concerned. “ Are you okay?”

People were watching. The other students had turned their attention towards the argument brewing into something bigger, and Mark felt so embarrassed he thought he might sink into the ground.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Mark looked up at Jackson. “What’s--”

“Enough.”

The sound of Junior’s voice cut through the air like a knife. And when Mark turned towards the sound he spotted his cousin. Junior was standing a half dozen feet away, eyes cut into a steely glare, and his arms folded across his chest.

“Junior,” JB started.

“I said enough, Jaebum.”

Mark froze and his lungs seized in his chest. Jaebum? This was Jaebum? The person who was responsible for hurting his cousin so badly? How was that possible?

Youngjae said in a rushed way, “They had Mark out here, practically pushed into a corner.”

JB flinched and Jackson rebuffed, “That’s not true! I would never--”

“Mark,” Junior said, looking away from the others until he held Mark’s gaze. “Come with me, Please.”

Jackson made a soft kind of strangled sound as Mark stumbled his way over to him. Then Junior was wrapping an arm around him and pulling him away.

Mark just barely managed a look over his shoulder to spot Youngjae and Yugyeom following after, while JB had his back turned to them with tense shoulders.

Jackson … Jackson was the worst, however. He was looking after Mark in such a pained, forlorn way. He was hurt, and Mark couldn’t help feeling like he’d done that in some way. Or at least been a part of letting it happen.

“That was Jaebum,” Mark stated, more than asking, when the four of them were tucked away on a bench on the other side of school. “That was the guy who--”

“It was,” Junior said quickly. “Why were you with him?”

“I didn’t know it was him,” Mark shot out quickly, wanting that to be perfectly clear. “But that other guy, Jackson, he’s the one … he’s the person I met at the airport. He’s the one I …” Kissed.

Stupidly, Mark realized he’d never given Jackson’s name when talking to his cousin about what had happened the previous day. 

“They weren’t hurting me or even being mean to me,” Mark told him. “I didn’t need a rescue.”

“They probably only weren’t because they didn’t know who you were,” Youngjae said confidently.

Mark wasn’t so sure. Especially with Jackson. Mark knew the kind of person he was, and it seemed incredibly unlikely that Jackson was a bully. People who were hurt, people who were damaged, they only turned out one of two ways. They became aggressors, or they specifically set out to be the opposite. And with Jackson, Mark could see the trauma with him, lurking under his skin somehow, maybe from his parents, and maybe from somewhere else.

Jackson wasn’t an aggressor. He wasn’t a bully and he wasn’t the kind to deliberately hurt other people for whatever reason. 

But Jaebum …

“Did they?” Junior asked. He gave Mark a delineate look. “Did they do anything to you?”

“They weren’t mean to me,” Mark enforced. “I met Jackson before and he was nice. Junior, you know we had a great time. Then I was surprised to see him here, and he introduced me to his best friend. Junior, I didn’t know who JB really was. I had no idea. But neither of them said anything mean to me.”

The odd thing was, for Jaebum who was supposed to be this ultra villain as described by Junior, he hadn’t seemed like it. He’d been fairly calm, relatively kind, and the important tell was how he’d treated Jackson. They’d made quick quips at each other, the kind that might initially be perceived as mean, but were just the mark of very good friends. 

Jaebum hadn’t attempted to intimidate Mark at all, hadn’t say anything rude to him, and just very bluntly hadn’t acted like a delinquent at all. He was nothing like what Junior had described. 

“I’m glad,” Junior said with relief. “Mark, please stay away from them. Them and that other kid they hang around. They’re nothing but trouble, and they’ll hurt you.”

“Jackson wouldn’t,” Mark said quietly.

Junior rolled his eyes at the statement. “Mark, you’ve known the kid for a day.”

Yugyeom gave a firm nod. “They’re trouble. Seriously.”

Junior’s heavy hand settled over Mark’s nearest knee. “I need you to promise me something, Mark. Promise me you won’t go near any of them. Promise me you won’t talk to them. Promise me, Mark.”

“But Jackson--”

There was pain etched deep into Junior’s face, and fear and apprehension. Junior was scared for him, Mark realized. He was scared what could happen.

Instinctively, out of the most deep form of loyalty Mark felt for Junior, he wanted to make that promise. 

But a promise like that meant abandoning Jackson. It meant pretending he didn’t exist and avoiding him like the plague. It meant pushing down the feelings Mark was starting to develop for him, and that was a scary thought.

“I…”

“Mark. Please.”

The strain in Junior’s voice was too much.

So Mark found himself nodding a bit numbly, promising, “I won’t have anything to do with Jaebum or any of his friends. I promise.”

Junior seemed to sag in relief. 

And Mark? He just felt ruined.

His cousin must have sensed the unease in him, because he made an extra effort at lunch to treat Mark with additional care. Junior and Yugyeom and Youngjae paid for his lunch, gave him a better tour of the school, and promised to take him out on the weekend. 

Youngjae even said, giving Mark a smile that was so dazzling Mark didn’t know how he didn’t have everyone in school falling over themselves to be by his side, “You know, if you’re looking for a job Junior and I could probably get you in with our boss. He’s been looking to hire a part time sale associate, and you’d be able to target the tourists who speak English, which is something he’s been interested in. You want to come with us after school to apply?”

Mark, who needed a job, and more than that now needed something to take his mind off what he’d just lost with Jackson, wholly agreed.

His good mood, however, crashed the moment he was back in class. His eyes trailed almost instinctively to JB at the back of the class, who in return was watching Mark.

Mart sat himself quickly down at his desk, retrieved is notebook, and did his absolute best to pretend like he didn’t know JB spent the rest of the day watching the back of his head. And the whole thing left Mark feeling unnerved. 

He got the job, which was some relief. It was only a part time position, for a few hours after school, but it was enough to give Mark some pocket money, and he got the weekends off. Neither was it as if the job, selling shirts to a predominantly large tourist demographic, was particularly challenging. 

It was all just enough, in Mark’s book, and most importantly, it was the distraction he needed.

Or it would have been, Mark reasoned, if Jackson were a normal person. Because anyone else would have left well enough alone. Anyone else would have understood the situation for what it was, and let it go.

However Jackson was Jackson, so maybe Mark should have expected what came next. 

And it all happened because Junior’s sisters’ old room had a balcony. It was a tiny thing, barely wide enough for a chair and a small table, but it had a wonderful view of the skyline, faced the west so Mark could catch the brilliance of the fading sun at the right time, and it was a great place to get homework done when Junior’s parents were home making dinner noisily together. 

He was just starting to gather up the last of his homework for later review when he heard something quiet hiss from beneath the balcony. At first Mark tried to ignore it, but by the second time, and then the third, he was absolutely certain it was his name he was hearing.

Climbing to his feet, Mark leaned over the balcony and he nearly toppled over it in surprise when he realized that he was looking down at Jackson.

Then his stomach clenched up, because Jackson had the low ground, but the fading sun was making him look ethereal, and simply gorgeous. Not to mention the blindingly captivating look on Jackson’s face. He was slightly apprehensive from his body language, but he was staring up at Mark like he had all the hope in the world, and Mark wanted to vault over the railing like a fool.

Then reality crashed back into him and he shouted as quietly as he could, “What are you doing here?”

Junior was somewhere in the house behind him, probably in his room, and if that was the case, he’d be able to hear the slightest disturbance. Junior nearly always kept his door open, and Mark didn’t want to think about what would happen if Jackson was found out.

“Are you crazy?” Mark added as a demand, trying not to be swayed by the determined way that Jackson moved even closer.

“Can you come down, Juliet?”

“You can’t be serious,” Mark shot back. “You realize how that ended for them, correct?”

The smile on Jackson’s face cracked wider. “Would you believe me if I told you I never finished the play? I got up to the part where they decided to give the middle finger to their families and be together.”

Mark smothered down a smile. That seemed like Jackson. “Well, spoiler alert, neither of them got to enjoy their happy ending. How does that sound, Romeo?”

Jackson gestured at him. “Come down.”

Sobering a little, Mark leaned as far over the balcony as he dare and reminded, “You know you can’t be here. Jackson.” Mark tried to soften his words. “Please, go away.”

Steel in his voice, Jackson repeated, “Come down. I want to talk to you.”

“Go away,” Mark echoed himself.

Jackson was silent for a moment, peering at something. For a half second Mark thought Jackson was starting at him. But then Jackson was moving, going to the foot of the balcony, to where there was a decorative ladder with greenery threaded through it. And against all expectations, Mark watched Jackson scale it to the balcony. Then he threw a leg over the side and was standing before Mark before thirty seconds had passed.

Breathlessly, Mark stated, “You’re crazy.”

Jackson held up a corrective finger. “I prefer the term proactive.”

Mark ran a hand through his hair. “Crazy. You’re just crazy. Jackson, you’re crazy.”

Jackson leaned his hip back against the railing on the balcony smugly. “I’m also a little impulsive.”

“You think?” Mark demanded, voice rising. “You could have broken your neck if you’d fallen. You could be caught! You could--”

“Mark?”

Mark went white as Junior poked his head into the bedroom from the hallway, a curious look on his face.

Mark felt lightheaded. “I … I can explain …” No, he really couldn’t explain having Jackson on his balcony. He couldn’t, not when he’d given his word to Junior that he’d have nothing to do with anyone associated with JB.

But then a humorous smile was spreading across Junior’s face and he chuckled, “Are you in here talking to yourself?”

Mark wasn’t certain what Junior meant, not until he shifted and he could see that from Junior’s perspective he could only see a portion of the balcony. He could see Mark, and he most certainly couldn’t see Jackson who was pressed against the wall in the far corner of the balcony, likely holding his breath.

Mark forced a grin to his face. “Ah, yeah, you caught me. I was just thinking out loud.” He tried to look embarrassed, and not like he was second away from passing out from his sky rocketing blood pressure. “Did you need something?”

Junior thumbed deeper into the house. “Dinner is going to be ready in about fifteen. Mom says to wash up soon.”

“Got it,” Mark replied, and he didn’t dare move until Junior was going off down the hall.

When Mark was certain that Junior had gone far enough, he reached for the balcony door’s curtains and pulled them sharply. Then he spun on Jackson and shot to his side, biting out, “You just almost got caught. You’re not crazy, you’re stupid.”

Mark wasn’t even aware of how close he’d pressed against Jackson until Jackson’s arms were coming around his shoulders. The hold was easy, and Mark could have broken it at any moment, but he rather liked the pressure and he liked even more the warmth coming from Jackson’s body.

“I’m kind of stupid for you right now,” Jackson admitted, letting his forehead rest against Mark’s.

It wasn’t cold outside in the least bit, not even with the sun dying in the distance, but Mark found himself shivering.

“Anyway,” Jackson went on, “I had to see you. I couldn’t let you go to bed tonight thinking that I’m some monster.”

Slowly, Mark admitted, “I don’t think you’re a monster.”

Some kind of relief shrugged through Jackson’s body. Mark felt it. 

“I wasn’t sure,” Jackson said. “I mean, I’m a little confused in general, which means you must be a lot, but I needed to make sure you still … that you … I mean …”

“My cousin hates your best friend,” Mark said. He leaned a portion of his weight on Jackson, turning his head so that Jackson could tug him closer. And now they were hugging, less loosely than before, and the encompassing feeling it radiated to Mark was genuinely soothing.

“That’s why I came over,” Jackson said quietly. He rubbed a hand along the tension in Mark’s back. “I had no idea who your cousin was. I didn’t know he was JB’s Junior.”

Mark lifted his head with a pinched expression. “JB’s Junior?”

“Yeah,” Jackson replied. “It’s weird, you know? I get they have beef, though that’s all on your cousin, but JB follows Junior around like he’s lovesick. I think he is, and has been for years.”

With a deep breath, Mark took a step back from Jackson, shrugging away his hold. “JB hurt Junior. He hurt him really badly.”

“You sure?” Jackson asked, a big frown on his face. “JB says they had a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?” Mark barked out. “No, your best friend did something so terrible to my cousin that he won’t even speak about it. This isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s a declaration of war. And apparently it extends to all affiliated parties.”

Jackson huffed out, “That’s stupid.”

Mark didn’t dare say it, but he was in agreement. And it was only more painful to be around Jackson now that he knew he was a taboo of sorts.

“I …” Mark wasn’t certain what he could say in response.

Without warning, Jackson said, “I want you to come out with me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come out with me,” Jackson said again, and it felt like he was repeating himself a million times. “Come out with me and let’s leave all this drama behind us.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” Jackson inquired, head cocked. “I know you really love your cousin, and JB is my best friend. But this is their mess. I don’t want it to be ours. I like you too much for that, Mark.”

Mark was startled by the way Jackson’s fingers brushed against the inside of his wrist. The calloused finger pads were delicate as they ghosted over Mark’s pulse point, trailing up in a decidedly teasing way.

“I can’t go out,” Mark said, trying to stand firm. “Not with you. My cousin would … I would hurt him if I did, and he’s the one person in this world I can’t risk that happening to.”

Jackson seemed frustrated for a second, then with a long huff of air, he posed, “Then let’s really be like Romeo and Juliet.”

“Kill ourselves?” Mark asked blandly. “How overdramatic.”

“No,” Jackson said with a soft laugh, and his grip on Mark tightened enough to tug him forward. 

The world around them went a little quiet at Mark felt Jackson’s mouth brush the corner of his own. It was just a hint of lips, barely any pressure, but it felt utterly intimate and lovely. 

“I mean, let’s do this in secret. For now, we can keep this a secret, something just for the two of us.”

“Jackson.”

“Think about it,” Jackson urged, eyebrows rising, “we’ll get to run off together and hide out and it’ll be fun and exciting. It’ll be something only we share, and I think the idea is pretty sexy. The getting to have you to myself part.”

Mark’s mind was spinning. It was too easy to get in deep with Jackson, and it was terrifying how badly he wanted the other boy. 

Mark had been burned before by wanting a boy. He’d nearly been broken by what came of it, and he wasn’t going to go down that road again. Not even for Jackson. 

“I’m not starting a secret affair with you,” Mark stated, and he hoped it sounded like he wasn’t going to budge. “Because Junior will find out. He will get hurt. And I’d rather rip out my own heart than have that happen to him. I love him that much.”

Mark saw Jackson’s fingers curl around the railing of the balcony, like he needed the extra support.

“I don’t know how to …” Jackson was the one who looked pale now. “I don’t know how to let go of you, not when I just got to meet you and we both like each other. I don’t know if I can.”

Stifling, Mark said in an even voice filled with forced courage, “If I tell you to leave me alone, you need to. I’ve been with someone before who didn’t, and it wasn’t good. He hurt me.”

Jackson startled. “Some asshole hurt you?”

Mark gave a nod. “I told him no and he didn’t understand, or didn’t want to. It ended badly for both of us, but especially me. I don’t want that from you.”

Jackson threw a leg over the railing, pulling the second after it quickly. He held on, perched precariously, and Mark hated how he was looking at him now.

“Sorry,” Jackson said, and a half second later he was dropping down.

He landed fairly solidly on the ground, only having to use his hands to brace himself on the initial drop, and then he was giving Mark one last haunting look. He was gone after that, disappearing down a nearby alleyway and towards the adjacent street.

Mark’s knees shook the second he was alone and he sank slowly into the chair near him. In the distance he heard his aunt call his name, but Mark couldn’t bring himself to move. Not until his eyes were less wet and he was able to put himself together.

At the least not until he could face the truth of what he’d just done.

If Junior noticed that he was a little more quiet that night, and a lot more subdued, he didn’t say anything. In face, they didn’t have a real conversation until they were on the bus the next morning heading for school. Mark thought he should have felt a million times better now that he was in a proper uniform and looked the part of a Korean high school student, but all he could concentrate on was the way he’d pushed Jackson away.

“--open spot that’s yours.”

“Sorry, what?” Mark asked, suddenly concentrating on Junior.

Junior gave him a look, but didn’t comment on his spacing out. Instead, he repeated, “You need an extracurricular activity. It’s too late for you to join any sports team, and a lot of the clubs are full, but the student council just had a member move out of the country. I already spoke to our advising teacher, and he said if you want the spot, it’s yours. He was impressed by your transcripts and he’s willing to give you a shot.”

“Oh.” Mark remembered Junior saying something about student council. And he also recalled that JB served on the same council. “I don’t want the spot if it’s going to cause problems. I don’t want people thinking I only got it because I’m your cousin.”

“You did,” Junior said playfully, nudging him. Then a little more seriously, he said, “The truth is, the semester already started, and it would be pointless to have elections for a single position. I already talked to the candidate who came in second for the spot last election. He’s got too much going on right now for him to take it. So we need someone to fill the spot quickly, and that person needs to have pretty ridiculous prerequisites. Mark, if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to, but you need that extra curricular activity, you’d really be doing me a favor by helping out, and no one, once they meet you, is going to think you got this position through nepotism. Got it?”

Taking a steadying breath, Mark nodded. “Okay.”

“Good,” Junior said, and he truly looked relieved. “Plus, I could really use the extra backup. If you can believe it, JB’s actually got one of his friends on the council. It’s bad enough I have to deal with him being my Vice President, but now I have to deal with him having backup to undermine me every time I propose something.”

Mark asked, “Who?”

He hadn’t even needed to wait for an answer, not with the way Junior gave him a side eye look.

Jackson. 

It had to be Jackson. And that was why Junior had waited until Mark had agreed to tell him.

“Junior. Seriously, Junior?”

As if it pained him, Junior said, “He’s not that bad, okay? I acknowledge that. Compared to Jaebum, he’s not that bad at all. But he’s Jaebum’s best friend, so every time I look at him, I see Jaebum, too. I need backup of my own, Mark.”

Mark felt the bus rumble under him for a least a half block before he stated, “Jackson is a good person. I wish … I wish you wouldn’t push your hostility for Jaebum onto Jackson. Especially since I like him.”

“You’ve known him a day, or rather two at this point,” Junior reminded. “You don’t know him, Mark. And neither do I, not really. He could be just as bad as Jaebum.”

“I don’t think so,” Mark shot back. “I think he’s a good person. I can see it when I look at him, and by now I think I’ve gotten pretty bad at picking out the good ones versus the bad ones.”

“No,” Junior decided, shaking his head. “It’s better if we both steer clear of them. They’re hoodlums anyway.”

“Please,” Mark said, feeing a spark of irritation. “Try not to be so judgmental, okay?”

“Seriously?” Junior snapped out angrily. “Why can’t you just trust me on this, Mark? You have no idea what people are capable of.”

The words caught Mark off guard and brought his thoughts to a standstill. “People? JB?”

It was the oddest thing, but suddenly for a half second, it didn’t seem like Junior meant JB at all. And if not, then who did he mean?

Junior looked away sharply as if sensing Mark’s curiosity.

“Junior?” Mark asked softly, leaning their heads together. “This thing that happened … with JB …was someone else involved?”

Mark thought Junior might never answer him, but finally his cousin said, “No, of course not , Mark. It was JB. It was just JB.” 

Mark just couldn’t believe that, now that he’d heard the doubt for himself in Junior’s voice. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark mumbled out, feeling like he was being anything but supportive.

Junior put an arm around Mark as their destination came closer, and he told Mark, “I don’t want what Jaebum did to me, to be what Jackson does to you. It think it’s just a little too ridiculous he’s known you for a day and he’s already putting the moves on you.”

“I’m the one who kissed him,” Mark admitted, still remembering fresh in his mind the panic running through him as he leaned forward. And what a different kiss it had been verses the soft and gentle one that Jackson had gifted to him on the balcony.

“You didn’t know,” Junior pointed out. “And now you do.” 

Mark knew what it felt like to be played. He knew what I felt like to be manipulated. And Jackson didn’t feel that way. It didn’t even feel like the potential was there.

“I’ll be damned if I let you go through what I did ,” Junior bit out, and Mark absolutely believed that his cousin would keep that vow to his deathbed.

No matter what kind of collateral damage was incurred.


	3. Chapter Three

School was, at the very least, getting better for Mark. It hadn’t taken long to fall into routine, or to pick up on the different preferences Korean teaches had for the types of schoolwork they expected. Neither did things feel so suffocating as the hours passed in a comfortable fashion. 

Lunch was spent with Junior, Yugyeom and Youngjae, but also a larger group of people that were friendly and welcoming. They let him practice his Korean on them, and several of them were in the process of picking up English. Mostly Mark liked that there was no pressure from anyone about anything. If he spoke, they listened, and if he didn’t, they didn’t seem to mind.

More than once he’d caught himself looking out across the courtyard for Jackson.

And each time he’d clamped down on the urge.

Well, the best he could. Jackson was still managing to invade Mark’s thoughts without any effort on the actual boy’s part. It was a little ridiculous and Mark wasn’t appreciative in the least.

Maybe he just didn’t like what the overwhelming thoughts implied. 

Student council met the last hour of the school day on Mondays and Fridays. It was neither of those days at the moment, but because Mark was joining in a distinctly impromptu manner, there was an emergency session called. There were twelve members to the council, counting Mark, and they gathered in an empty classroom on the third floor.

“We’re discussing the upcoming fundraiser,” Junior said once order had come to the mass of people. Mark had made sure to squeeze into a seat right next to Junior for support--though his or Junior’s he wasn’t sure. And the only major downfall was that it put them directly across from the vice president Jaebum, and of course Jackson.

It was a mere minute or two into the meeting, just after Mark had been introduced, when he realized that Jackson was deliberately not looking in his direction. In fact, Jackson’s eyes seemed glued to the floor, and at the realization, violent jabs of guilt were stabbing immediately into Mark’s stomach. He couldn’t help feeling like it was his fault. In fact, he knew it was.

“Fundraiser?” Mark asked. “For what?”

Jaebum interjected, “For the senior class trip. We’re nearly at our goal, but we need a bit of additional funding. The fundraiser will pay for the final portion of the trip.”

And it was insanely suffocating with the way Jaebum’s eyes stayed locked on Junior, and the pointedly deliberate way Junior looked at everyone except for Jaebum.

Was this what had been happing for years? How had everyone survived?

“We’re going to Japan,” a girl near Mark told him. “The senior class voted last year for Tokyo, though Beijing nearly won.”

“The senior class went to New York the previous year,” a different girl said. “They had a smaller graduating class, and we forgot to compensate for that when we did the preliminary cost estimations for this trip. We have thirty-four, including yourself, additional graduating seniors. That adds up to a significant amount of additional costs.”

Finally, in such an excruciatingly slow way that Mark felt himself go tense with the wait, Jackson’s gaze lifted and he said, “We’re having an elemental themed fundraiser.”

Tersely, a boy far from Mark huffed out, “It was a compromise of conflicting ideas.”

The girl next to him added, “A two month negotiation of a compromise.” 

Nodding, Mark commented, “An elemental theme is pretty cool. It leaves a lot open to interpretation. How soon is the fundraiser?”

“Next month,” Junior said. “So we have to get the last of the preparations done. Mark, you’re on vender duty. We have several already lined up, but we need to solicit the services of at least a couple more. We need food we can just give away, food we can sell, and everything in between.”

“Sure,” Mark readily agreed. “Who’s been working on that portion so far?”

The universe, Mark decided, was conspiring against him. That was probably the only rational explanation for Jackson’s quiet, “It was me. Now it’s us.”

It was them.

Of course it was them.

Though Mark learned very quickly that them was a vague term, and Jackson absolutely did not mean to work any closer to him than he had to.

Several days after Mark was assigned vendor detail with Jackson, in fact nearly a week, Jackson was only just lingering around Mark long enough to exchange more than a few words.

“I’ll take the south side of Seoul,” Jackson said, already inching himself away from Mark, looking like he wanted to blend into the crowd of people passing next to them. “You can take the north. Divide and conquer.”

“Jackson.” Mark tightened his hold on the strap of his bag anxiously. “We’re supposed to be doing this together--working together.”

And it was hurtful now, to see the way Jackson barely met his eyes and was far more subdued than Mark had ever seen from him before.

“No, I think we’re good with some distance between us,” Jackson returned abruptly. And before Mark could say any more, Jackson was turning on heel to disappear into the flood of students.

Mark let out a long breath and leaned back against the nearby wall. He’d gone and ruined things with Jackson. That was for sure. And he wasn’t certain how to fix it, or if he even could. 

“He still likes you, you know.”

The sound of the crowd, dozens of voice overlapping each other and intermingling, made it almost impossible for Mark to catch the words clearly. But when he followed the sound of them he was face to face with a shorter, more softer looking boy than the student body typically provided. He seemed almost too young to be a student, and reeked of innocence. 

“What?” Mark asked.

“I said,” the boy repeated tersely, “he still likes you. Though I haven’t got a clue why.”

Mark stared at the boy in disbelief. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m getting tired of seeing him mope around like a lost puppy,” the boy continued, crossing his arms over his chest. “He thinks there’s something so special about you, and that’s messing him up.”

Okay, so maybe the boy wasn’t as innocent as Mark had first assumed. His face was clearly deceptive. 

“I think you’re wrong,” Mark said, turning instinctively towards the last place he’d seen Jackson. “He barely wants to talk to me, he can’t stand to be in the same room as me, and that seems to be on a good day.”

The hostility fell away from the boy’s face almost completely as he said, “You said something to him. I can tell. I don’t know what you said, but you said something and it shook him. What did you say to him?”

“Excuse me,” Mark snapped back. “Who are you again?”

“I’m Jackson’s friend,” the boy said, “BamBam.”

“Oh.” Mark thought that made more sense now. But still … 

“You tell him to fuck off?” BamBam asked in English.

Mark was startled by the vulgarity, even more than the switch to English. “Did I what?”

“Tell him to fuck off,” BamBam enunciated slowly. “Tell him to leave you alone?”

“No,” Mark replied, not even sure why he was still holding the conversation. “Not in so many words. Certainly not like that. Things are just complicated. Very complicated.”

Frowning, BamBam pried, “Is this about your cousin? And about JB?”

The amount of people around them was starting to thin, and pretty soon he and BamBam would be one of very few left in the hallway.

“The truth is,” Mark found himself confessing, “the real truth is that I like Jackson. I like him just as much as he likes me. But we can never have anything between us while his best friend is responsible for hurting my cousin so badly.”

“The way I hear it, your cousin is a drama queen.”

“Okay,” Mark said sharply, turning away. “The conversation is over.”

“No, really,” BamBam shot out, darting nearly to Mark’s side. “If he wasn’t into JB, that’s all he had to say. But instead he gives him all these forlorn looking glances that he thinks JB doesn’t see, but really just confuses the shit out of him with.”

Mark’s feet felt like they were lead. “What?”

“What?” BamBam echoed.

“My cousin,” Mark said shakily, feeling the anger and the irritation boil inside him, “is not, let me be very clear, a drama queen. He’s not one to stir up trouble, and he’s not the type of person to play a victim card of any sort. He can’t stand JB. He would never show any interest in him, and you’re ridiculous for saying otherwise.”

“It’s petty,” BamBam said, rolling his eyes. “What they’re doing is petty. But you’re blind if you don’t think there’s some kind of mutual attraction there. You’re too close to your cousin to see it, but I do. I see everything, even what your cousin doesn’t want himself to see.”

Mark shook his head. “You don’t know anything.” Though it was bothering Mark more and more with how things were starting to make less and less sense.

BamBam shrugged. “I know that Jackson likes you. I know that he stares at you when he knows you can’t see him or aren’t looking, and it’s the stare you only give someone you really care fore. I know that if Jackson is keeping his distance from you, it’s for a reason, and it has to be something you did or said.”

It was, Mark knew, because he’d frightened Jackson with his past. He hadn’t given any details, but he’d implied enough. And Jackson was truly a sensitive boy, no matter how much bravado he carried around. Mark had scared him, Jackson was skittish now, and everything was still, at the end of the day, ruined.

“He’ll get over his feelings for me,” Mark said, trying to sound certain. Though the idea of Jackson moving on and placing his affection with anyone else was a little heart wrenching. “We haven’t even known each other that long.”

“Do what you want,” BamBam said, throwing his hands behind his head in a carefree way. “But if you can fix it, do that. Jackson’s a really cool guy, and his feelings for you seem legit.”

“I don’t know if I can fix it.”

“Twenty-six fifteen.”

Mark asked confused, “What’s that?”

“The gate code to Jackson’s house,” BamBam told him. “If you care about Jackson, regardless of all this bullshit going on around you guys, then you’ll take that code and make him smile again.”

Mark watched him saunter off after that, apparently finished with what he had to say.

Twenty-six fifteen.

Junior wouldn’t like Mark going near Jackson, even to apologize for how their last serious conversation had gone. Junior would probably be appalled at the mere idea of Mark going to Jackson’s home. Junior would be angry, or maybe even hurt.

But Mark couldn’t shake the need to apologize. He couldn’t get over the urging in him to make things clear to Jackson that nothing was his fault. It really wasn’t, too. Right now it didn’t seem like there could be anything between them, not romantically. But there didn’t need to be awkwardness, either. And the last thing Mark wanted for Jackson to think that he was responsible in some way.

It took Mark two days to work up the courage to visit Jackson at his house, and coincidentally that happened to land him on a Friday. Mark didn’t work Fridays, unlike Junior and Youngjae, and that gave him several hours to resolve things with Jackson before anyone came looking for him.

Getting Jackson’s address from school had been less difficult than he’d imagined. Plenty of people seemed to know where Jackson lived, most of them making comments about the house. Mark hadn’t understood until he was standing in front of huge iron gates that protected a large estate tucked away by dense greenery. Mark hadn’t really thought these kinds of houses existed in Seoul anymore.

Seoul was impossibly packed, reminding Mark of San Francisco and New York, and American cities where there just wasn’t enough room for all the people enclosed within it. Most of the residences in Seoul, including Junior’s family’s, were stacked on top of each other, or on top of businesses, and with very little room to breathe. 

Mark had seen traditional, expansive homes towards the more rural areas outside of Seoul, and extremely expensive luxury apartments in the heart of the city, but nothing quite like what he had in front of him.

The building reeked of excess and wealth and all of the things that Jackson didn’t.

It was a shorter amount of time than Mark had expected for him to unclench his fist to where he’d written down the access code to the gate in front of him. Then he tapped the numbers into the keypad before he lost the courage, and waited.

And waited.

Then waited some more.

The gate didn’t open.

More carefully, Mark punched the numbers in again, making sure he was putting in twenty-six fifteen.

Then he frowned. The code was right, he hadn’t messed up, and still the gate wasn’t opening. 

Shoulders falling, Mark wondered if it was a sign. Maybe he was supposed to leave well enough alone. He and Jackson were talking. They could maintain a professional relationship for any student council business. Was he really right to push for anything else?

His heart, most unfortunately, said yes.

The ache in his heart when he saw Jackson, or thought of him, was more than enough to override any reluctance. 

Plus, the decorative design of the fence gave way for a lot of footholds. 

Mark probably looked hilarious to anyone who might see him, and he hoped that number was zero. He was all kinds of awkward climbing over the gate, having to exert more physical effort than he had in months. And with cold hard cement waiting for him if he fell, he was moving extra slow.

But he made it. It took a while, and Mark was sweating by the time he hit the other side, but he was in, and he was moving steadily towards the front door to knock.

Mark was clamping down on the urge to run away when the front door opened, almost a full minute after. And it was Jackson on the other side.

He looked startled, as much as Mark felt, and he asked uncertainly, “Mark?”

“Hi,” Mark offered back. “Hi, Jackson.”

With a perturbed look, Jackson questioned, “How did you get up here to the front door?”

Mark gestured back to the still closed gate.

“How’d you get the code?”

Mark dragged his fingers through his hair. “Someone gave me the gate code, but I kept putting it in and did wouldn’t open, so I climbed over.”

Jackson barked out, looking just a little amazed, “You climbed the gate? You climbed over that gate there? The ten foot gate?”

Feeling a little foolish now, Mark defended, “You climbed a balcony for me.”

Shaking himself a little, probably in order to focus, Jackson asked Mark, “What are you doing here? You could just text me about anything related to the fundraiser. You didn’t need to come all the way out here. Or you could have--”

“I wanted to come see you,” Mark interrupted, not caring how sharp his words came out. “I needed to. We need to talk, Jackson. We have to.”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Jackson said, leaning a little more heavily on the door. 

“Jackson,” Mark said softly. “I think we really should talk. I need to apologize. I didn’t mean to say those things the way I did, when you last came to see me. I can be overly sensitive--over cautious. That doesn’t mean I think you’re like anyone else who’s burned me in the past, but I get defensive naturally now.”

Jackson shook his head. “Mark, you don’t have to say this.”

“I think I do,” Mark decided. “Because I don’t want to hurt my cousin, or break my word to him. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel anything for you, or that what we’ve shared so far means nothing. So I guess I’m here to apologize to you, for being cryptic and hard to understand, and I want to make sure you know that this stuff happening between Jaebum and Junior isn’t our fault, even if I’ve made it seem like that no matter how much.”

Jackson gave him a long, sturdy look. Then he asked once more, “You really climbed that gate over there?”

Mark held up his hand so Jackson could see the printed sharpie numbers. He felt a little dumb as he said, “The code wouldn’t work.”

Jackson cracked a smile. “That’s because it’s twenty-five, not twenty-six. Twenty-five fifteen.”

“Oh.”

They were quiet for a second, then Jackson asked him, “Some guy really messed you up, didn’t he?”

Mark tried to hide his flinch as he replied, “My ex.”

Jackson pursed his lips so hard they went white, then he said, “I don’t want to be like that, Mark. I don’t want to be that kind of guy to you. That would kill me, because you’re so amazing and so great.”

“I’ve told my cousin you’re not the monster in the closet.” Mark wrung his hands together in front of him nervously. “And I meant every word I said. I don’t think you’re the kind of person to hurt me, not like I have been in the past. My cousin thinks I’m an idiot for believing that, but it takes a lot to fool my gut, and I’ve got nothing but good feelings in there about you in there.”

Jackson looked him straight in the eyes, almost unnervingly, and stated, “I’m not the guy who won’t back off if you say no. That’s what I’m trying to do here. You respect and love your cousin, I get that. And if that’s enough to make you keep away from me and deny what we feel for each other, then I’ve got to respect that too. So if this is you saying no, then this is me accepting that. But you can’t expect more from me, Mark. You can’t send mixed signals, or want more from me, because I’m really struggling here. I’m struggling to not let my feelings for you take control, and I need you to help me out.”

There was a lump in his throat, a horrible one, and Mark couldn’t swallow past it as he said, “I find myself thinking about you all the time. It’s stupid, and distracting, but I’ll be in class, or at work, or even sitting at home, and I’ll start thinking about how funny you are, and how you’re just a big bundle of energy. And just thinking of you makes me happy, which feels like a betrayal to my cousin, who would have a cow if he knew I was within a mile of you right now.”

“I don’t think,” Jackson said wryly, “that it’s up for debate that we have feelings for each other.”

“True,” Mark said with a grin. 

“And I’m willing to give us a try,” Jackson added. “The only hold up here is you. You have to decide.”

“Jackson?” Mark had made up his mind, and he was most certainly going the route of transparency. “Can I come in? Can we talk?”

“I thought we were talking,” Jackson said, a bit on the playful side. “But yeah, as long as you promise your cousin won’t show up, bringing his posse with him to avenge your stolen virginity.”

Sucking in air through his teeth, he said seriously, “He already did that.”

Jackson frowned. “What?”

“Let me in,” Mark said, pushing at Jackson softly. “I want to tell you about my ex, and why my cousin is so important to me. That might help. It can’t hurt, not anymore than anything else I’ve done.”

Jackson led Mark through a house that was distinctly Western on the inside. In fact the decor and furniture choices reminded Mark of his own home back in California, and it was a comforting feeling.

“This is my room,” Jackson said when they’d reached the third door down a long hallway on the second floor. “No judgment, okay? I didn’t know I was going to have company, least of all you.”

Quietly, Mark assured, “It’s fine, Jackson.”

The room wasn’t really a mess, not like Jackson had cautioned. There were a couple shirts on the floor, some shoes kicked hastily into a corner, and school work was scattered about, but the bed was made and there were no bad smells.

“Sit wherever you want,” Jackson offered, bending to start cleaning up.

“Jackson,” Mark said pointedly. He sat on the edge of Jackson’s bed. 

Jackson nearly threw himself down on the plush looking chair across the room, situated in front of a large, antique looking wooden desk. 

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Jackson replied, voice sounding a little worn through.

And that was the truth. Mark didn’t have to share a single detail of his somewhat damaged past. But he wanted to. He wanted to clear the air, and hopefully resolve some things. And at the very least, several psychologists he’d been to see had proven that talking about the past, even as painful as it was, was a good way to ease his anxiety. It was the healthiest coping mechanism he had.

“There was this guy,” Mark said without preface, his fingers digging into the soft duvet on the bed, “that everyone was in love with. In high school. He was on student council, took all AP classes, was on the varsity swim team, and of course was really, really good looking to boot. He was my school’s version of Brad Pitt.”

“Or like Choi Siwon?”

Mark frowned. “Who?”

“Super Junior?” Jackson gestured to a wrack of CDs near the door that Mark had initially missed. There were several dozen colorful boxes of different sizes. “He’s a member of Super Junior? He’s basically god’s personal gift to anyone who is sexually attracted to men. He’s ridiculously good looking.”

Mark felt a smile stretch fully across his face. “I knew you were into kpop more than you were willing to admit.”

“You’d be too,” Jackson argued, “if you understood the sex appeal of Choi Siwon.”

Still feeling amused, Mark continued, “Anyway, this guy, Andy St. Claire, was even more amazing because he was always so kind and respectful and generous. He went out of his way to help people. Honestly, I had a crush on him since the first time I laid eyes on him in sixth grade.”

Dryly, Jackson broke in, “Yeah, he sounds awesome.”

The hint of jealousy hidden in Jackson’s voice was doing something weird to Mark’s stomach.

“He had this really cool boyfriend almost the entire time I knew him,” Mark said, “but then he moved away at the start of our junior year, Andy was single, and I never saw it coming until the moment he was asking me out.”

Curiously, Jackson reminded, “Who wouldn’t want to ask you out?”

Mark ignored the question. “We had some of the same friends, but we weren’t that close, and I didn’t even know he had a clue who I was.”

It was still a memory coiled deep in him, coming out of his fourth period class and heading for lunch, going to make a stop by his locker only to find Andy leaning up against it casually waiting for him. Andy, in his light blue jeans, fitted polo shirt, cuffs rolled up. Andy who was everything Mark wanted in a guy, or at least thought he did.

“You said yes?” Jackson prompted.

“Of course I did,” Mark nearly exploded. “I’d have to be stupid or dead not to want him back.” Mark huffed out a long breath. “Things were really good for a while. He was … perfect. I thought we were good.”

“Let me guess,” Jackson slipped out, “Mister Perfect ended up being a douche?”

Mouth dry, Mark could only nod.

Jackson’s eyes narrowed. “He hurt you?”

Again, there was only nodding.

And Jackson pressed, “This is the guy who didn’t know what no meant?”

“It started small at first,” Mark managed, finding his voice. “I knew Andy was pretty particular going into the relationship. So when he wanted to pick where we got food, or what we did on certain days, I didn’t have a problem with it. I just wanted him to keep wanting me, so I went along with his suggestion about changing my wardrobe, and then my hair, and it only got worse from there.”

Jackson leaned forward in his seat. Mark watched curiously at the way his hands were curled into fists, shaking slightly, as if he was personally offended for what Mark had gone through.

“I started to notice around senior year,” Mark told Jackson. “I wanted more independence, I was going to go off to college soon, and Andy was … was just controlling. He didn’t want to give me the independence I needed.”

“Dick,” Jackson hissed angrily.

Carefully, Mark asked, “Remember when we had that conversation at the restaurant? That first night? I told you not to let people pressure you into things you didn’t want, and to do what’s best for you.”

Fury lacing his words, Jackson demanded, “What did he do to you?”

Mark insisted, “I knew I wanted to go to college from a really young age. I love learning. But I had my heart set on NYU. That didn’t matter, though, because Andy was going to Berkeley, so suddenly I was too.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jackson jumped up to his feet, hands clasping at his hair. He demanded suddenly, “Did he hurt you? Physically?”

“He’d grab me pretty hard at times,” Mark admitted. He could still feel Andy’s fingers on him at times, like a suffocating mass sucking the oxygen from his lungs. “But he didn’t hit me or anything. He didn’t have to. He knew the right way to manipulate me, how to turn others against me, and how to keep himself looking squeaky clean in the meanwhile.” Mark took a stabilizing breath. “And then came Homecoming.”

Jackson frowned. “Homecoming?”

Oh, of course Jackson wouldn’t know.

“It’s this thing in the States,” Mark explained quickly. “It happens at the beginning of the year and it’s a big event. It’s all about getting back into school spirit after a summer break, and it’s mostly a popularity contest, but there’s a big parade, and a dance, and it’s cool.”

“Oh.”

Bluntly, Mark said, “Andy as very clear. He wanted us to have sex after the dance. Everyone else was.”

Mark watched Jackson reach out to stabilize himself on the nearby desk. “What the actual fuck?”

“There’s sort of this tradition,” Mark offered, though it came out weakly. “American teenagers sometimes have sex after prom to lose their virginity, but it can also happen after homecoming.”

In the blink of an eye Jackson was at his side, perched next to him, far, far too close for comfort.

“Did this asshole … did … I mean …”

With practiced courage, Mark asked for him, “Did he rape me?”

Jackson gave almost a frantic nod. “You don’t exactly seem like you were excited about it.”

“I didn’t think I was ready,” Mark freely admitted. “I didn’t want to. But I didn’t say no when we went to the hotel afterwards. I don’t know what I was thinking--I wasn’t thinking. I just kind of shut off.”

“He made you,” Jackson ground out.

Mark didn’t … he didn’t particularly think of it as rape. He knew plenty of people who would. But Mark? He repeated, “I didn’t say no.”

Jackson reached out to catch his wrist in a firm grip, almost like a lifeline. “Mark,” he said, “if you didn’t want to, even if you felt like you couldn’t or shouldn’t say no, you had every right not to have sex. Sexual coercion is rape.”

Mark shook his head, not in disagreement, but simply because he wasn’t sure how to respond. So he said, “It wasn’t great. It … it didn’t feel good, and it only made Andy more … possessive. For the first time I was truly scared of him, and when I tried to get out, he clung hard. I said no and he pretended he didn’t hear anything. I tried to break up with him, and he, naturally, spread every kind of bad and dirty rumor about me that he could. So by the time I was leaving to come here, everyone at school thought he was the poor victim, and that I was the dirty slut.”

Mark exhaled deeply. It felt good to get it out.

Jackson gave Mark’s wrist a squeeze. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with that.”

On more of an instinctual level than anything else, Mark rotated his wrist so that he could just catch the edges of Jackson’s fingers. Then he said, “When I managed to get out of that relationship, pride and humiliation aside, I promised myself I’d never go back. I’d never again be with someone like that, someone who couldn’t respect my choices, or give me room when I wanted it.”

Jackson’s eyes clenched tightly at the words.

“I don’t think you’re like Andy,” Mark said, and it was the most firm thing he’d said yet, and the thing he believed most. “I think you are kind and funny and amazingly considerate, Jackson. I think you are the kind of person that is loved very easily by others, and for good reason. But when I say no, I mean no, and I need you to respect that. I need you to take it seriously, whatever my reasons for saying it. And if my cousin is enough of a reason for me to tell you no, you need to let that be.”

In a completely unexpected move, Mark found himself being pulled forward. He was wrapped up into warm, solid arms, and hugged lovingly.

It was the kind of feeling Mark could happily take a dose of every day for the rest of his life.

“I understand,” Jackson said, the words ringing out like a vow. “I get it, Mark. I do. Thank you for telling me this.”

Mark gave a somber nod. “I didn’t let Andy break me, and I won’t let anyone else, either.”

Silence ticked by in seconds that felt like hours, at least until Jackson finally said, “But I don’t understand how your cousin plays into all this.”

“Junior’s not my real cousin,” Mark said, clinging to Jackson for a second longer before breaking their hug. “I mean, he’s not blood related. Our parents are best friends, and so are we. We’re closer than blood brothers. So when I finally found my voice to speak up about Andy and tell someone, Junior is the one I spilled everything to.”

“And he helped you,” Jackson assumed.

Mark gave a grin. “He cashed in his savings account, got himself grounded for a year--he’s still grounded as we speak--and got on a plane to come see me.” The grin faded in to a grimace. “Junior said it was rape, too. Mostly because Andy knew I didn’t want to have sex--that I was reluctant, and still pushed anyway.”

Now when he thought about it, he felt stupid. He felt as if the whole event was his own fault, even if he knew logically it wasn’t. Because for all the things wrong with Andy, Mark truly didn’t think he was a rapist. If Mark had spoken up, if he’d said no, if he’d pushed Andy away or left, everything probably would have ended at that point. All Mark had needed to do was say no, but he’d been scared, his voice had failed him, and he’d gone numb. He’d laid there stupidly because he couldn’t do anything else.

Jaw dropping open, Jackson questioned, “Your cousin flew to California?”

Mark gave a nod. “And he was waiting for Andy when school was over one day.”

“I have a new and deeply profound sense of respect for your cousin,” Jackson said unabashedly. 

“Well,” Mark eased out, “the fiasco that ensued afterwards is kind of the larger part of why I’m here. Junior ended up down at juvenile hall, and then the Korean embassy when they got it all worked out that he wasn’t an American citizen. I took the early graduation option with the study abroad final term because I knew life would be hell if I kept going for the rest of the year. And Andy? The last I heard he was scheduled for nasal reconstructive surgery, but he’s never going to look the same again. There’s talk of a lawsuit. I don’t know. Junior’s parents … they really lost their minds when it all went down.”

“Yeah,” Jackson decided. “Your cousin is badass.”

Mark leaned his shoulder against Jackson. “My cousin abandoned everything, spent his entire life savings, hopped in a plane, flew halfway across the globe, and did it all because he loves me that much. He did that for me. Because he was worried I wouldn’t get the justice I deserve, and because he wanted me to know that there is someone in this world that I can count on utterly and without fail. That is what Junior and I have. And that is why I will always respect and honor him, including not associating with people that he doesn’t want me to.”

“Well,” Jackson sighed out. “Shit.”

Voice like a whisper in the wind, Mark added, “That doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for you. That doesn’t mean I don’t like you a lot. It just means my cousin asks things of me very rarely, and because of what we mean to each other, I’m inclined to listen when he does.”

Jackson’s head fell. “I get it, Mark. Man, I get it, but this sucks.”

“Yeah,” Mark offered back.

A moment later Jackson cleared his throat and straightened up. “Okay. All right.”

“Huh?”

There was the tiniest bit of fear in Jackson’s eyes and he said, “I’m going to be the guy that you think I am. You know where I stand. You know I like you--want you in any way you’ll have me. I mean, Mark, I want to hold your hand and be your friend. I want to kiss you and call you my boyfriend and take as much as you’re willing to give. That’s what I want, and I’m being super clear here. But this is me backing off. This is me respecting your no.”

Then he was standing, and Mark’s stomach was dropping.

Because this was wrong. It was so wrong and he could feel it in his bones. The wrongness was overriding any sense of loyalty he had for his cousin.

So he got to his own feet. And he turned Jackson back towards him. 

“What are you doing?” Jackson asked slowly and in a confused tone.

Fingers shaking, Mark cupped Jackson’s face, feeling the strong bone structure, the smooth skin, and absolutely knowing in his heart that feelings as strong as the kind he had in him, weren’t the kind that could be denied or repressed for long.

“It feels like I’m betraying Junior, having these feelings for you.”

A tentative smile came to Jackson’s face, and Mark thought it was beautiful. 

Jackson inquired, “Yeah? Feelings that strong? For me?”

Mark nodded. “The kind you’re only supposed to have for people that you’ve known a long time, or that you’re in love with.”

Gently, Jackson said, “I don’t think you’re betraying your cousin. That’s just my humble opinion, and not just because I’d very much like to make out with you. I honestly don’t think you having anything to do with me hurts him or means you’re disloyal to him. I never did anything to him. And I don’t control what JB does. This is not fair to us, Mark. And did I mention I really want to kiss you?”

The worst part was, Mark really wanted to kiss Jackson.

“I want to take you out on dates,” Jackson continued, as Mark’s thumbs began to smooth across the barely there stubble. “I want to … to hold your hand, and walk you to class, and all that stupid, kind of embarrassing stuff. I want us to have petty fights, and then have makeout-makeup sessions. I want you to meet my parents, Mark. Now if that scares the shit out of you, that’s okay, but again, I want you to--”

Mark cut him off.

It was a ridiculous waste of time to listen to Jackson talk about all the things that Mark already sort of suspected.

A waste of air, actually, that could be better spent kissing.

So Mark closed the distance between them effortlessly, tightening his hold on Jackson’s face to press their mouths together with fervor and pressure. 

He could feel the shock that Jackson was in, the tension and the tightness in his body against Mark’s own. But it only lasted for a second, and then Jackson was kissing back, exhaling through his nose and bringing his arms to hook around Mark’s waist.

Kissing Jackson, and Mark now had several incidences in which to draw conclusions from, was still a breathtaking kind of action. Kisses with his ex boyfriend had left Mark feeling unsatisfied, and wondering if he himself was the problem. But Jackson kissed him like he felt Mark was worth every bit of time and effort. Jackson kissing him made Mark feel stronger, made him feel bolder, and made him feel more alive.

Kissing was like oxygen, when Jackson was involved.

“Wait, oh, god, wait!”

Jackson broke their kiss, almost fully letting go of Mark’s hips. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have--”

“I kissed you,” Mark interjected. 

“But I don’t want to scare you or--”

Mark’s head cocked and he wondered out loud, “Do you think I’m some frightened lamb? A child? Some dog who’s been beat down by its master too many times?”

Jackson’s eyes were wide. “What? No!”

“I kissed you,” Mark enunciated slowly. “Because I like you. Because kissing you feels good. Because I trust you.”

Jackson was quiet for a moment, then hedged, “You don’t need to feel obligated to kiss me or anything. I’m not going to stop liking you if we have to cool things until we get this matter worked out between Junior and JB.”

Mark reached up and flicked Jackson on the forehead.

“What the hell?! Mark!”

Once more, Mark said, “I trust you. Do you get that? And that’s kind of a big thing, because I didn’t think I’d trust a guy again, at least not for a while.” Mark pushed past the anxiety and pressure balling in his stomach. “So do you want to make out with me, or do you want to stand here and talk about my emotional issues while you pretend I’m a china doll?”

It was different the next time their lips met. Mark felt weightless, like he wasn’t even standing on his own two feet.

Oh, he realized, he wasn’t.

Jackson was pushing him back towards the nearby bed and they were falling, cushioned onto a soft surface that had them bouncing into place, kissing and kissing and not stopping.

Mark pulled up the back of Jackson’s shirt eagerly, wondering how it felt so different this time to be in bed with a boy and not have any of the fear and disparity that he’d felt last time.

As if reading his mind, Jackson mumbled through numbingly strong kisses, “This is all we’re going to do.”

“Hm?” Mark replied, distracted by the first touch of skin his fingers came into contact with as Jackson’s shirt rode up even further.

“Kissing,” Jackson elaborated, shifting so not all of his weight was on Mark, but certainly enough for Mark to feel that he was growing excited. “Nothing more. Okay. Seriously. Really.”

Mark laughed, his teeth nearly colliding with Jackson’s. “Why do you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself?”

Jackson groaned, his cheek dropping down against Mark’s. “Because you’re so damn hot.”

Mark laughed louder this time, pressing a dry kiss to Jackson’s head. “I know we’re only going to kiss. For obvious reasons, it’s going to be a long time before I’m ready to have sex again.” He felt Jackson nod weakly against him, and then felt compelled to add, “But when I am ready, it’s going to be with someone I trust.”

Not with someone who knew how to coerce him into keeping silent.

Jackson dropped one last kiss to his mouth, then leaned back, putting enough distance between them so they could both likely think.

“Mark,” he said, red in the face and radiating heat. “Let me say this, okay? About this.” He gestured between them.

Mark remained quiet.

“I want to kiss you a lot.” Jackson gave a crazy, foolish grin. “It’s pretty much all I think about, which makes me really worried just how damn infatuated I am with you, because I’ve never, never wanted someone as badly as I want you. But, yeah, me wanting you? That doesn’t mean you ever need to want me in return. Don’t you ever feel obligated to kiss me back, or return any feelings. Mark, if we have something, it has to be mutually genuine. Promise me that.”

“Wow,” Mark finally eased out.

Jackson blinked slowly. “Wow? That’s what you have to say? I make this big speech about respecting you and your body and your wishes and you say wow? I’m not a serious guy, Mark. You have to give me credit when I manage to pull it off.”

“Oh, you’re earning so much extra credit you have no idea.” Hoisting himself up with his hands, Mark pushed back into Jackson’s space. “You just went straight to the head of the class.”

He couldn’t help himself, and not even his tingling lips were enough to dissuade him from kissing Jackson again, working their mouths together until there was nothing but tongue and searching fingers and hastily taken breaths. 

Time passed … in a way that Mark couldn’t keep track of. It could have been five minutes they were kissing, or five hours. All Mark knew as that eventually they settled down together against the duvet, spooning together a little awkwardly in which no one was the big spoon, no one was the little spoon, and they were tangled up in a way that didn’t really make sense. 

And none of it mattered, because Mark felt embraced and warm and comfortable. He felt safe. Even when his mouth hurt too much to kiss any more, hugging and gentle touches that boys weren’t really supposed to know how to manage, worked well enough.

Intimacy, Mark realized. This was what adults were always talking about. The difference between sex and intimacy. Sex was … it was easy. It could be cold and clinical and methodical. But intimacy? Mark had never had intimacy with a boy before, and now that he did, he couldn’t imagine going without. 

“Mark?” Jackson finally asked. “What are we doing?”

Mark could feel Jackson’s breath against his skin, they were pressed in so close. 

“I’m …” Mark started. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Jackson gave a soft hum. “I thought you didn’t want this.”

“No.” Mark reached for his hand, squeezing his fingers tight when he found them. “I always wanted this. That’s the problem.”

“But you promised your cousin you’d stay away from JB, and me by extension. I could be wrong, but this doesn’t seem like that.”

Mark sucked in a deep lungful of air and closed his eyes. He held a little tighter to Jackson and offered, “Going back on my word to my cousin is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t pretend like there isn’t the start of something here with us--something real. I won’t give us up, not if you don’t want to.”

He felt Jackson tug at him. “You know what we have to do, right?”

“Oh my god,” Mark sighed out, “if you say something stupid like sneak around and go on spy themed dates, I will roll off this very comfortable bed right now and go home.”

Jackson chuckled. “That’s the best idea you’ve ever had. Trademark that immediately. Spy themed dates. Sign me up.”

Mark pinched Jackson’s side. “Focus.” He was tempted to pinch a second time just for good measure. “What do we have to do?”

Jackson’s head lolled fully towards him. “We can’t have any peace with us, until we fix those two dysfunctional, stubborn brats we call friends--family in your case. We have to fix them, Mark.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

In fact, it seemed pretty impossible to Mark. Junior rarely dug his heels in about things, but when he did, Mark knew him well enough to predict how stubborn he’d be.

“Well, we don’t have any other choice.” Jackson turned onto his side and cradled his head in his palm. “We can’t be together, at least openly, until they get their shit together. So that means it falls on us to fix them. Correct?”

“How?” Mark countered.

Jackson huffed, “There has to be a reason. There has to be a start to all this. JB’s only ever said it started freshmen year in high school, like seriously started then. He says there was a misunderstanding, Junior took something the wrong way, and there’s been bad blood ever since.”

“It’s worse for Junior,” Mark countered. “Something happened to him that was worse than a misunderstanding, but he certainly won’t say what. I need to find out what that something is.”

“Then we establish a two pronged attack?”

There was joy and affection bubbling up in Mark as he queried, “You’ve given this some thought, I can tell. Okay, so go on, tell me. What’s the plan?”

Jackson righted himself, crossing his legs and leaning his elbows on his knees. “The way I figure it,” Jackson started, “we can go about this directly, or indirectly.”

Mark settled his hands across his stomach and pointed out, “I’ve already tried to get the truth out of Junior before. It’s not going to happen. At least not directly. That method, I think, is a failure from the start.”

“I agree.” Jackson nudged Mark and pointed out, “See, we make an awesome team. We could get law degrees, open our own practice, and be billionaire lawyers. Think about it. Me, you, and vacations in Vienna.” 

“Focus,” Mark said once more. Then he pointed out, “Plus, the only rich lawyers are the ones who get that way by being corporate slaves or severely immoral.”

“I’d be immoral for you.”

Mark did pinch him a second time for that.

“So the indirect approach then,” Jackson said, finally getting back on track. “We talk to anyone else who might have insight. Even if they only have a little bit of the picture, we could take all those tiny pieces, put them together, and start to reconstruct the big picture. That’s smart, right?”

“That,” Mark said, truly impressed, “is smart.”

Jackson pointed a finger at himself. “Smartness gets rewarded, right?”

With a laugh, Mark leaned over for a chaste kiss. 

He wasn’t stupid, of course. He knew he and Jackson were firmly knee deep in what could fondly be called the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Everything was new and fresh and wonderful. Fights would come eventually, of course, but they certainly weren’t there yet.

“It’s a plan,” Mark agreed. “We start pulling the little pieces together to see if we can fix this. And in the mean while we keep our heads down and try not to advertise--”

“How much I want your hot body?”

Tersely, Mark asked, “What happened to hand holding mentions?”

Jackson shrugged. “When you have a boyfriend as hot as I do, hand holding only goes so far.”

God, Mark wanted that. He wanted to be someone’s boyfriend in a fair and equal relationship that truly felt that way. He wanted to be Jackson’s boyfriend. Plain and simple.

“We keep,” Mark repeated, “our heads down. At least for the moment. No getting flashy in the hallways at school, no public kisses, and no boasting. Not until we have the situation under control, or know more.”

Jackson seemed to be pondering something.

Cautiously, Mark asked, “What?”

“So we’re ninja dating?”

“Ninja dating,” he said distastefully, even if the idea of sneaking around sounded a little fun. 

Jackson snuck a kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth. “See,” he pointed out. “Like that. Ninja kissing, too. Sneak attack.”

Mark couldn’t help falling into Jackson, wrangling him back down onto the bed comfortably and with a barely hidden chuckle.

The sun had been down for quite a while before Mark found the motivation to finally get out of bed. He straightened his clothes, tried to put himself together again, and didn’t dare look in the mirror to see what his mouth looked like. He felt kissed senseless. He must have looked it, too.

He was inching towards the door when he heard Jackson call out, “Mark?”

“Yeah?”

Jackson was still sitting on the edge of his bed, watching Mark with intense eyes. He questioned, “What do we do if your cousin finds out? What if he freaks and makes a big deal of this? What then?”

The questions froze Mark in place, terrifying him of what the truthful answers could be.

“Is everything we are,” Jackson asked at a near whisper, “dependent on him not finding out?”

As if it were a promise, and it felt like it at least a little, Mark said firmly, “No.”

“Then?”

With some apprehension, Mark told Jackson, “If it comes to that, I suppose I’ll find out very quickly what matters more to my cousin, how much he cares for me, or how much he appears to hate JB.”


	4. Chapter Four

The days that followed were a balancing act for Mark. He spent a good deal of time paranoid that Junior or one of Junior’s friends would pick up on the shift in the relationship between himself and Jackson. But he also needed to focus on his school work, and his given task for student council. 

It all left him feeling awkward and on uneven footing.

But what was also a priority, between studying furiously for mathematics tests and verifying vendors for the fundraiser, was digging into the past.

There was absolutely no way he and Jackson could be a couple publicly, not without stirring up the kind of trouble that ruined relationships, until they understood what had fully happened between JB and Junior. 

It was easier said than done, but on Mark’s side was how friendly and easygoing Yugyeom was. Mark had briefly considered trying to target Youngjae for information. After all, he was older than Yugyeom, only one grade year younger than Mark, and seemed to be closer to Junior than anyone else. But Youngjae also gave off the vibe that he was distinctly loyal to Junior, and wouldn’t say anything, even to Mark, of a delicate nature. That was something Mark could respect, but it certainly didn’t help. And that left Yugyeom.

The problem with Yugyeom most certainly was that he was much too young to have gone to school with Junior and JB when their mess happened. But when Mark asked, “Don’t you think it’s weird that someone like Junior would let JB get to him?” he was surprised by the response he got.

Yugyeom gave him an uneasy shrug, but said, “I mean, you would know better than me, I think, Mark. Junior tells you everything. I just know what Youngjae’s told me.”

The response verified that Youngjae had answers, but Mark was still convinced he couldn’t get any from him.

“I don’t like to pry,” Mark offered, hefting the strap of his bag up a little higher, wondering how much time they had before the bell rang to start class and they had to part ways. “Especially when it’s the kind of subject like this. I couldn’t ask him. Not directly. I don’t think he’d want to talk about it, either.”

Yugyeom pondered for a minute, then said, “Youngjae says not to talk about JB to him, either. But I mean, you’d be pretty messed up if you got made a fool of.”

Mark pursed his lips. “JB made a fool of Junior?”

“Apparently,” Yugyeom said with a shrug. “Right? That’s the only way you can feel when someone says they’re into you, dupes you in order to win a prize, and lets everyone know what a chump you were.”

Mark perked. “A prize?”

A little confounded, Yugyeom dropped his voice and said, “It was for that contest held by the Young Physicists Foundation. Anyone fourteen and above was invited to submit something for consideration.” Yugyeom scowled. “It was a total dick move for JB to get Junior side tracked like that, sabotage his work, and then not even have the courage to be the one to own up to it.”

Mark made to ask further questions when the bell chimed slowly around them.

“Got to head to class,” Yugyeom called out, flashing Mark a victory sign. “Catch you after.”

Huh. There’d been a contest. That had been where it had started. 

As Mark shuffled off to class, there was a spark of hope in him.

And that hope was still there by the time class was letting out for lunch. As Mark packed up his things, his eyes trailed over to JB in the back of the class, the other boy shuffling slowly without any kind of intent or rush.

Most of the students were already out the door when JB looked up, meeting Mark’s gaze. 

It felt a little like the rest of the world was bleeding out color around them, falling away. Especially when JB got fully to his feet, swung his bag up into his hand and sauntered his way to Mark’s side.

“I’m surprised,” he drawled with some humor, “that Junior hasn’t put a proximity tracer on you.”

“What?” Mark asked.

JB clicked his tongue. “Going into enemy territory? What would Junior think?”

Mark froze. He knew. JB knew that he’d gone to see Jackson. Had Jackson been the one to tell? Was Jackson possibly that stupid?

Then, like some kind of heaven sent miracle, JB continued, “I don’t live that far from Jackson’s place. I saw you, awkwardly climbing over that fence like a bumbling would be burglar.”

Mark tried to keep calm, arching an eyebrow. “Aren’t you and Junior the ones who decide who’s working on what for the fundraiser? I’m getting the distinct feeling that you told Jackson to keep away from me, because it’s getting harder and harder to check up with him on the progress we’re making. It’s not my fault if I have to corner him at his house.”

“No,” JB agreed. “I just think scaling a fence like that gives off an awful sense of dedication, to a mere fundraiser.”

“What can I say, I’m dedicated.”

JB’s fingers trailed across his desk as he started to move away, calling back, “Oh, and I did tell Jackson to stay away. I don’t need to give your cousin another reason to hate me.”

There was a weird, sharp spike to the tone of his voice that had Mark calling out to stop him before he got too far, “JB?”

“Mark.”

With some certainty, the kind he hadn’t had before, Mark said quietly, “You don’t feel the same about Junior that he does about you.”

JB rocked nonchalantly on his feet. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“My cousin,” Mark replied, “he gets this really horribly sad look on his face when he mentions you, or thinks about you. He’s been hurt badly. But you? It’s not triumph or pleasure I see from you when that comes up. You don’t hate him like he hates you. I don’t think you even dislike him.”

JB gave a huffy laugh. “Wouldn’t that be interesting.”

“It would be something.”

Mark watched him disappear through the door with the last of the class’s stragglers. 

He wasn’t sure at all what was going on with JB now. He only knew that it was one more piece of the puzzle to work out. And thankfully, Mark knew where to start.

He was on his way to spend his lunch hour at the library, passing by a series of empty classrooms when he was tugged sharply into one, the door slamming behind him.

He found his back pressed squarely against the closed door, a warm pressure up against him.

And lips on his. Familiar lips.

“Jackson,” Mark groaned out, his arms folding around Jackson’s neck.

He felt Jackson smiling into this kiss as he mumbled, “Surprise.”

He should have been angry at Jackson. It was beyond stupid for them to be kissing on school grounds, not only where a teacher could come upon them, but where a couple hundred students might see something they weren’t supposed to.

But he’d long ago learned that Jackson’s kisses impaired his ability to have any kind of rational thoughts.

“I have been wanting to do this all day,” Jackson confessed, pushing his fingers up into the short ends of Mark’s hair, one leg dangerous close to slipping between Mark’s own parted ones. “Ever since I saw you get off the bus this morning looking sexy as hell.”

“Oh, yes,” Mark laughed dryly, “in his fabulously attractive school uniform.”

Jackson’s mouth caught his again, not stopping to say more than, “You make everything look good. Even these frumpy uniforms.”

It only took a few minutes for their heated kisses to cool, and then Mark was satisfied with languidly given pecks that too, eventually, tapered off.

“I needed that,” Jackson said a bit playfully, pulling at his tie to give himself more breathing room. “I didn’t realize it would be this hard to see you for ten hours a day, and not be able to touch.”

Mark popped a button at his own collar, laughing out, “I think you’re doing plenty of touching.”

“Yeah,” Jackson nodded. “More touching. That’s what we should be doing right now.”

As Jackson moved to do that, Mark put a firm hand against his chest. “I don’t think so.” He forced himself to focus. “I need to get to the library. I, unlike you, am making progress on our problem. Because won’t it be nice when we don’t have to hang out in abandoned classrooms to kiss?”

“It will be,” Jackson agreed. “And hey! I’m making progress too!”

“That’s a surprise,” Mark said unexpectedly. “What kind of progress did you make?”

Determination and focus settled on Jackson’s face as he said, “Guess who spent last night going through three years worth of facebook posts?”

“Really?”

“Really,” Jackson said, and now when Mark looked at him he could see the dark smudges under his eyes and highlighted laugh lines. “And it sucked by the way. But I found something.”

Mark pushed off the door he’d been leaning against and slipped into a seat at the front of the room. He rolled his eyes when Jackson plopped down in the teacher’s spot, but didn’t say anything.

“So JB is pretty erratic with his facebook posts, but Junior isn’t. Junior makes a couple a day like clockwork, and has since about sixth grade. And about three years ago that number doubled unexpectedly. They’re all about this big science project or fair or something, and how excited he is to enter and win the scholarship that goes with it.”

Mark snapped his fingers. “The Young Physicist’s Foundation. That’s what I got from Yugyeom this morning. Both Junior and JB were entered to compete, and that’s the genesis of whatever happened. Yugyeom says it like maybe JB lured Junior into some kind of sense of false security, then sabotaged him. But it has to be more than that. Junior’s reaction is too big for it to be a simple betrayal like that.”

Jackson pulled his phone from his pocket and turned it around towards Mark. There was too much distance between them for Mark to see the images on the screen properly, so he was thankful when Jackson said, “I’ve got some of the facebook posts screen shotted. Mark, your cousin was really excited to be working with this guy he’d had a crush on. This guy came to him, suggested they work together, and they even submitted their initial proposal together. There are half a dozen posts on the day this guy kisses Junior for the first time while they’re working on their experiment. Guess who the guy is?”

Mark breathed out, “JB.”

Jackson gave a serious nod. “There’s a fine line between love and hate, man, and sometimes one is just covering for the other.”

Mark leaned heavily on the desktop. “So there were personal feelings involved here. But where did it go wrong? Did you find facebook posts on that?”

“It’s a curious thing,” Jackson replied. “About a day or two before the actual contest is supposed to wrap up, there are no posts from Junior. But even more curiously, the posts from JB double. And they’re really weird--like vague stuff about loyalty and trust and basically gibberish. Then they stop completely, too.”

“So it was a partnership that went bad,” Mark remarked. “But how?”

“Don’t know,” Jackson confessed. “There are plenty of people commenting on both their posts, including JB’s asshole brother who spent about a week afterwards cyber bulling Junior through facebook, but there aren’t any clues there as to what went wrong. Still, it’s nice to know that’s a good place to start.”

Frowning, Mark asked, “JB’s brother?”

“Older,” Jackson supplied, “by a couple of years, and seriously, Mark, he’s a real asshole. I’ve met him a few times. He’s a real over achiever, but in that smarmy, better than everyone else way. He’s always put a ton of pressure on JB to be the best at everything, and he’s mean about it too. I don’t know what his problem was with this mess, but he didn’t help things.”

With a weary kind of groan, Mark heaved himself up from the desk and declared, “Well, I’m going to spend my lunch hour in the library. I want to dig up some information on that contest. This school seems the sort to keep a record of everything that goes on, especially when scholarships and accolades are involved.”

“Or,” Jackson drawled out, “we could stay here and make out.”

“You bring more progress,” Mark promised, heading to the door, “and we’ll have more makeouts.”

Jackson trailed after him. “So it’s like that? We’re on the reward system now?”

“For now,” Mark agreed, leaning over for a parting kiss. “But if you and I do this right, there won’t be a need for a reward system. Won’t that be nice?”

“You’re a tease,” Jackson called after him, a playful tone to his words. “You’re just lucky I know the payoff is good.”

Mark slipped from the room still shaking his head, a smile on his face.

He didn’t even see the person directly in front of him until he was tripping over them, barely keeping on his feet. “Sorry!” he apologized immediately, looking at the younger boy. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Yes, it’s me,” BamBam said dully, an eyebrow arched.

Mark crossed his arms over his chest. “You gave me a code that didn’t work for Jackson’s gate. You told me twenty-six fifteen. It was twenty-five fifteen.”

Unapologetically, BamBam said, “Sorry about that. My mistake.”

Mark accused, “You knew. You knew you gave me the wrong gate code.”

BamBam didn’t deny it.

“Why?” It didn’t make sense, not unless BamBam was trying to sabotage him. “You don’t like me? You don’t want me near your friend?”

BamBam gave him a long look, then admitted, “It’s the opposite of that, actually. I wanted to make sure you were good enough for him.”

That was … unexpected.

“I’m sorry?”

“I told you the wrong gate code on purpose,” BamBam said evenly, “because I wanted to know if you were willing to go the extra mile. I needed to know how bad you wanted it. If you gave up, if you came whining back to me about the wrong number, I’d know exactly what kind of person you are. But to my surprise, that’s not what happened.”

The door behind them opened suddenly and Jackson was there, his tie back in place and his hair only a little out of place. He looked shocked to see the both of them standing there, and was clearly unsure what to say.

Mark swung back to BamBam to say, “When I find something I like, I don’t back down easily. I hope you get that now.” And then he pushed past the two of them, making sure not to have any sort of eye contact with Jackson, having a part to play.

He moved directly to the library, heading to the archiving area of the massive area, not surprised to find many students were using the area to study. Mark was finding the academy even more competitive than he’d initially expected. Even though he’d acquired more than enough credits to earn his diploma, he knew that competitive nature was spreading to him as well. He wanted good grades, too, even if they wouldn’t count for much.

There was one specific corner of the library dedicated to the school’s history. And like Mark suspected, there were decades worth of history collected into tightly bound black books. 

Three years. All the evidence pointed to three years ago being the time frame, so Mark started back then.

He flipped past the club activities, the individual recognitions, and the school functions. And towards the back of the book he found mention of school competitions. It didn’t take long to locate the science section, or to stumble across pictures of the winners.

All three places, first through third, were proudly displayed in a glossy photo. And in the first spot, with an awkward smile on his face, was JB. He stood rigorously, almost like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world, while two men in suits bracketed him on either side. There was a ribbon pinned to his shirt, a trophy in front of him, and tension that three years after the moment, Mark could sense through the photograph. 

None of the other pictures featured Junior anywhere, even the group picture of all the participants.

“What are you doing?”

Mark spun around, eyes wide, stomach dropping as he saw Junior.

He squeaked out, “Junior! Why are you here?”

Junior hefted up several books so Mark could see. “The first round of college pre tests are next month for freshmen placement. I thought I’d get started on some of the subjects I’m really shabby in … most of them.”

“Please,” Mark scoffed. “You’re ridiculously smart. Don’t give me that.” With his back turned to the book he tried to nudge it against the countertop it was situated on, hopefully hiding it from view.

“I still need to study,” Junior argued. “The better placement I get freshman year, the more advanced classes I get to take when I’m an upperclassmen.” Junior gave Mark another look over. “But what are you doing here? I thought you and Yugyeom might go out to lunch by yourselves. Youngjae’s stuck studying too, but you and Yugyeom have been getting along well.”

Mark wanted desperately to turn and slam the book closed, and to hide away any evidence that he was prying into Junior’s personal business.

“I’m …”

There was a spark of insight on Junior’s face. “You’re hunting through school history?”

“I can explain,” Mark gushed out right away, tipping to the side as Junior plowed past him. “I just wanted to … I was …”

Junior was quiet as he looked at the photo on the page. JB’s winning photo.

Mark was prepared for any bad reaction Junior might have, from the angry to the disappointed. He wasn’t prepared for Junior’s face to soften and his hand to come up to the picture as he remarked, “Wow. I’ve never seen this.”

Mark hedged tentatively, “You’ve never seen the picture?”

“No,” Junior said, sounding hoarse. “Never.”

Mark tried to direct Junior’s attention to the group photo on the adjacent page. “Your name is listed, Junior. I noticed that. But you’re not pictured. Why?”

Junior’s mouth looked sealed shut, as if there was no chance of getting anything out of him. 

“I …” Junior finally said, “I had to drop out at the last second.” 

“Oh,” Mark eased out. “I’m sorry.”

Junior seemed to shake himself out of his funk. “I’m not.” He cleared his throat. “If you plan on staying in the library, come find me on the other side. Youngjae and I like to study by the big double windows.”

Junior turned away without another word and Mark physically deflated. 

He felt as if he’d come so close to being burned by fire. Well, maybe he’d gotten a little burned. That had to be the tingling he was feeling. 

Junior was completely out of sight by the time Mark turned back to the book, if only to peer at the picture of JB once more.

And finally something odd caught his eye. The man on the left of JB appeared in all the pictures. He was the head judge and had awarded the prizes. But the man on the right? He wasn’t described in the picture at all. But he shared an awful amount of facial features with JB, and looked distinctly older. Was this JB older brother?

Mark snapped a picture of the book with his phone and then closed it.

Why would JB’s brother be in the picture with JB? It would make sense for there to be plenty of personal photos with JB and his family appearing, but in the official picture? That seemed out of the ordinary, and Mark wanted to know why.

“I’ll find out,” Jackson said in the brief moment they were able to catch alone after school. Mark was on his way to work and Jackson was heading to cram school. He peered at the picture himself and confirmed, “Yeah, that’s JB’s older brother.”

“Let me know what you find out,” Mark said, already pulling away.

Jackson stole a quick kiss and as much as Mark was loathed to admit it, all the secrecy really was a little thrilling. 

And that thrill was still there days later at a student council meeting as Mark snuck secret glances to his phone where messages from Jackson were popping up several a minute. His phone was mostly hidden from the angle he was at, but he had no idea how Jackson was hiding his own typing. It didn’t look like his hands were moving at all, and he wasn’t even glancing at his phone.

Mark’s phone gave a soft vibrate and the message that popped up on the screen showed, ‘I think we should make out in this room after we’re finished. Y/N?’

Mark pushed down a laugh.

And a half second later the follow up message was, ‘Correction: Y/Y?’

Slowly, one finger at a time, Mark typed back, ‘Focus, please.’

“--stand with the final count, Mark?”

Mark snapped to attention, feeling flush with embarrassment when he realized “I’m sorry.”

“Mark.” Junior gave him a look that bordered on disappointed. “I know this isn’t the most interesting thing in the world, but the fundraiser is ten days away. Where are you and Jackson with the final count for vender participation?’

Straightening up in his seat, Mark did his best to ignore his phone which was buzzing again, and shifted through several papers until he could report, “We hit our quota. Eighty percent of the vendors we approached have agreed to participate either for free, or at a reduced cost.”

Breaking in evenly, Jackson said, “We already submitted the registration paperwork for them to the school. Everything is accounted for, fees and dues have been paid. You’re welcome.”

Junior didn’t look amused at his flippant reply. Instead he turned to different council member and asked, “What’s the itinerary looking like? Have you finalized the lineup for the first few hours?”

With the attention turned squarely from him, Mark looked down at the message popping up.

‘See how I handled your cousin there? Mad skills.’

Mark rolled his eyes and typed back, ‘Making him dislike you. Great plan for our future.’

The reply came impossibly fast, ‘Got time to win him over before the wedding date.’

‘You’re so confident.’

Jackson flashed him a covertly give wink from across the room.

By the time they’d moved on to the silent raffle planned for the second half of the fundraiser, Jackson’s texts were coming in a bit more slowly, but with no less confidence.

‘Want to be ninjas after and get something to eat?’

Mark glanced at the clock. They’d be let out of school once the meeting was over, probably twenty minutes before the rest of the student body. Mark didn’t have to work for several more hours, and the early release would give them a head start against the crush of students getting out all at the same time.

‘Will you let me buy?’ Mark inquired.

There was a sour look on Jackson’s face. 

Mark pressured, ‘It’s my turn.’

This time Mark could see his fingers typing, ‘I like buying you things.’

Firmly, Mark stated, ‘I buy or we don’t go.’

Jackson scowled at him, but Mark knew he’d won.

It wasn’t hard ducking away from Junior after the meeting. Not when Junior was wholly focused on discussing the budget with their council’s treasurer, and JB who’d been silent the entire meeting was long gone. It was almost too easy for Mark to leave the classroom unnoticed, and slip out of the west hall’s double doors to where Jackson was waiting.

“God, I thought that would never end,” Jackson huffed out, and his hands were twitching sort of like he wanted to reach out and hold Mark’s. But he didn’t, and Mark was glad he had some kind of self control.

“It’ll be over soon enough,” Mark said as they walked along. “The fundraiser is just after next week, and then we get a break until the end of the year push.”

They came to the edge of the school’s properly, and when Mark veered right, towards the bus, Jackson nudged him back to the left.

“What,” Mark asked with a laugh, “are we within walking distance of anything decent I didn’t know about?”

Jackson reached into pocket and withdrew a key ring. With an exacerbated sigh, he stated, “Mom heard that dad is getting me a two month vacation to Jamaica for graduation, complete with a villa on the beach. So naturally she responded with this.”

Mark’s mouth dropped open. “A car? She got you a car?”

Jackson spun the keyring around his finger, leading them towards a parking garage less than a block away. “I thought about wrecking it within twenty-four hours,” Jackson admitted, “because seriously, irritation. But then I thought about how hot my boyfriend would look in the car, so I decided to keep it.”

When Mark finally saw the car he was … both mortified and impressed. It was a beautiful, brand new car. It was sleek and shinny, and when Mark slid into the passenger seat, it was like being cushioned by a soft glove. But no eighteen year old needed a car like it. It was the kind of car that only should have come with hard work and years of saving. 

Jackson hit the button to start the car and turned to Mark. “Notice the tinted windows.”

“Are you trying to insinuate something?”

With a chuckle, Jackson insisted, “I’m just saying, if anything were to happen in this car, between any two people, they would be completely shielded from the outside world. That’s convenient.”

The weirdest thing about Jackson was that he made Mark feel brave and bold. He made Mark feel empowered, which wasn’t something Mark normally experienced. He was a subdued kind of person, quiet and reserved almost to a fault. Jackson made him want to come out of his shell. He was brave, he was strong, that was all him, but Jackson made it easier to feel that way.

So before Jackson could take his foot off the brake, and pull them out of the garage, Mark leaned over to kiss him properly. He cupped the side of his face with one confident hand, and pressed their lips together with growing familiarity. 

Jackson kissed back, like he always did, and Mark grinned, mumbling against Jackson’s lips, “Good call on the tinted windows.”

They kissed for several more minutes, Jackson’s hands wandering along Mark’s shoulders without much rush or intent, and Mark dominating their kisses in a way he never had before. 

Really, Mark hated that Jackson learning about his past made him tentative. Mark wasn’t fragile. He wasn’t easy to break. And he wished Jackson would understand that and kiss him appropriately. 

Likely to be safe, Jackson drove them for quite a white, until they were clear on the other side of Seoul, and then took Mark to a restaurant that they could secure a back table at. 

“I didn’t just bring us here because the food is great,” Jackson said after they’d ordered. He set his phone on the table between them and said, “I figured out why JB’s brother is in the picture with JB and the head judge.”

“Oh?”

Jackson nodded. “Each entry into the contest was allowed one source of outside help. That outside help could deliberately and directly contribute to the project, and guess who was helping out JB and Junior?”

Mark breathed out, “JB’s brother.”

“Got it,” Jackson confirmed. “He was their official help. He was at the university at the time. He’s since graduated and he doesn’t even live in the country anymore. JB told me a while ago he took a job in Japan about a year back and he hasn’t come home since then.”

Mark started down at the picture, focusing on the face of JB’s older brother. He had to admit, “He creeps me out.” He winced and look up at Jackson. “I know it’s mean and rude to judge someone by their photograph, but he makes me uncomfortable. Just from the photo.”

“Mark.” Jackson leaned his head closer, over the table. “I’ve been thinking, though this is only a theory! But I’ve been thinking, what if JB’s brother had something to do with what happened? JB and Junior, if facebook is to be believed, were getting on perfectly fine, really hitting it off, right up until JB’s brother started helping out. Then there’s noticeable tension in their updates.”

Mark asked, “Didn’t you say JB’s brother was harassing Junior on facebook?”

“Yeah.” Jackson nudged Mark a little under the table with his foot. “It wasn’t anything overtly threatening, very passive-aggressive, but he was being a dick. I don’t think he liked Junior and JB working together on the project.”

“Maybe,” Mark suggested, “he decided to do something about that.” 

It was a terrible, horrible thought to harbor, but it was one that had some evidence backing it. Of course that evidence was circumstantial, but it was still something to go on.

Deflating a little, Jackson pointed out, “That’s a good and well theory, but how are we going to check it out? JB’s brother is a dick. Seriously. He’s a grade A dick. He wouldn’t talk to us if he ever suspected we thought he had some involvement, and he might not talk to us period, depending on what kind of mood he’s in. But none of that matters because he’s in Japan.”

“There has to be something we can do,” Mark said morosely.

With a frown, Jackson suggested, “Want to see if my parents literally have no idea what’s going on with me or the credit cards I have in my name? Two tickets to Japan on a red eye tonight? We can be back by lunch tomorrow.”

Mark gave him a flat look. “No, Jackson. Think responsibly, please. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

Jackson grumbled, “I do have that history test tomorrow morning.”

“We just need to get creative,” Mark decided. “We need to think outside of the box.”

Jackson flipped through the pictures on his phone, frowning when he stopped on the picture of the third place winner.

“What is it?” Mark asked, noticing the look on Jackson’s face.

“Look.” Jackson turned the phone towards Mark and enlarged the photo. “The guy in this picture, standing next to the girl who won third? Look at his uniform jacket.”

Mark squinted at the uniform. “What about it?”

Jackson flipped the back to JB’s photo. “See it now?”

Mark looked quickly at him. “It’s the same. They’re wearing the same uniform. Jackson, do you think they went to school at the same time?”

“I do,” Jackson agreed. “And if they were both serving as mentors at the same time, then they must have had some kind of contact. Maybe this guy saw something. Maybe he heard something. Whatever. It’s something to go off of.”

With a quick glance to make sure no one was paying them any attention, Mark leaned across the table to press a dry kiss to Jackson’s mouth. “Good job.”

Jackson beamed, “No sweat.”

It wasn’t hard to trace the boy in the other picture. He was listed quite high in the college’s alumni directory, and had graduated with honors. The college was proud to boast about the company he’d gone to work for, and from there for the first time Mark was pleased by the sway Jackson was able to use his family for. They had an appointment to see Jang Minhwa only days after discovering his connection to JB’s older brother.

Of course that meant Mark spent the days leading up to that, completely distracted. Not even the final preparations for the fundraiser were enough to keep Mark’s mind from nearly obsessing over the possible outcome of their upcoming meeting.

And Junior noticed.

“Is something bothering you?” he asked the day before the meeting was set to happen. Junior and Youngjae and Mark were hanging around the store, with no customers to speak of, the floors freshly swept, and the windows shinning with Windex. In fact Mark’s boss had already called in to let them know they could close early if things didn’t pick up soon.

At that, Mark had sent a quick text to Jackson, wanting to meet up for a bit before the end of the night.

It was almost irritating how much he liked spending time with Jackson. But Jackson was better than any therapy Mark had been through in the past year. Jackson alleviated the anxiety that built in him sometimes, and made him laugh until his stomach hurt. Being with Jackson was never a chore, always interesting, and really just felt good for the soul.

Mark’s saving grace seemed to be that Jackson was just as desperate to spend time with him.

But something was building between them. Their kisses were getting more intense, hands were more determined and bold when they started to wander, and the sexual intensity was palpable in the air. 

It was getting harder and harder for Mark to pull himself away from Jackson when they started anything.

He was starting to care less about stopping as well.

“It’s nothing,” Mark insisted, flashing both Junior and Youngman a confident grin. “I’m just thinking about school, and the fundraiser, and mom’s been pressuring me to fly home for the week break we get next month.”

Junior made a face. “Seriously? She wants you to fly all the way back for a couple of days?”

Mark wasn’t making that up. He’d been getting increasing pressure from his mom to use his short school break to go back to California. She said wanted to make sure he was okay, but Mark thought she was probably more lonely than anything else. Both of Mark’s older sisters were away at college, and Mark’s younger brother was barely ever home--at any given time he was involved in at least two, but typically three extra curricular activities. 

Mark had always been the stay at home kid. He’d been the one who came home right after school to study and spend time with his parents. 

“Tell her no,” Junior said, reaching for Mark and shaking him a little. “She won’t let you come back if you go.”

Mark laughed and gave him a push. “I’m not going no matter what. Stop worrying. I told her I have too much happening here right now, and I’ll see her at the end of the semester anyway.”

“Well,” Youngjae told him, “if you don’t want to deal with this loser for the whole week we get off, my family is heading to the coast. We’ve got a house out there. One more warm body between me and my younger siblings would be great.”

Mark was a little shocked to have such an invitation from Youngjae, but then was touched quickly after. “Thanks,” he said with a grin. “Thanks a lot. I might take you up on that.”

Jackson was, per some odd agreement between his parents, headed back to Hong Kong for that week. And Junior, for as much as Mark loved him, was about to get very difficult to deal with. Both his sisters were set to pay a visit during that time, and when the three of them got together, Mark knew to duck or run. 

“Hey!” Junior protested. “Mark, you’re not supposed to run away with my friend. Especially without me. Where’s the loyalty?”

Youngjae told Mark seriously, “He’s such a drama queen.”

Mark nodded just as seriously, “Why are we even friends with him again?”

Junior snatched up a nearby pair of socks off a wrack and threw them at Youngjae, remarking, “Don’t worry, Mark. I’ve got something for you, too.”

Mark laughed out to Youngjae, “Can we leave now?”

Business, as it turned out, did not pick up. They had a couple of people drop in, and a few items were purchased, but in the end there weren’t enough sales to justify the labor being expended to keep them there.

“Got ahead and head home,” Junior said, already starting to collect the receipts for the day. “Youngjae and I are going to do the final count, shut everything down and get going ourselves.”

Youngjae offered, “Unless you want to stick around and wait? We could all go get something to drink after? This pretty cool looking smoothie place opened up a few blocks from here.”

Mark felt his phone buzz in his pocket. No doubt that was Jackson, texting him to tell him he was near. 

Mark waved them both off. “Berkeley finally forwarded me the reading list for my freshman English class. I want to see if I can get started on that.”

Youngjae called after him teasingly, “You nerd!”

“Nerd who’s going to Berkeley!” Mark yelled back. Then he gave the both of them a final wave and then stepped out of the shop. He was a least a hundred feet away before he pulled out his phone and looked down at it.

“Tell me a I’m a good boyfriend.”

Mark jerked at the voice, snapping up to find Jackson standing nearby, hands in his pockets.

“If by weird you mean creepy then yes.”

Jackson wasn’t perturbed for a second. “I come all the way out to pick up my boyfriend, all so I can take him somewhere nice and buy him things. I am the best boyfriend ever.”

Mark gestured back to the store. “You realize my cousin is right in there?”

“Then come on,” Jackson said, holding his hand out for Mark. “I parked around the corner. Let’s go.”

Mark reached out for him almost embarrassingly fast.

As they strolled away from the shop, Jackson offered up quietly, “My parents have been bugging me about college again.”

Mark cut him a look. “We talked about not letting them pressure you into anything. I’ve got two older sisters, Jackson. I’ve seen several of their friends, who had no interest in college, end up being bullied into it by their parents. It didn’t turn out well for any of them. Seriously. Any of them.”

Jackson squeezed his hand. “They want me to go. They’re kind of telling me, not in so many words, that if I don’t, they’ll cut me off.”

Eyebrows rising, Mark asked, “Really.”

Up ahead Mark could see Jackson’s ridiculously nice car. 

“I have a trust fund,” Jackson said with a shrug. “If they cut me off, I’ll be okay for a while.”

“That’s not the point.”

When they reached the car, Jackson pushed Mark up against it with an unusual showing of dominance. His body pressed tightly up against Mark’s, his mouth impossibly close to Mark’s. “It might be better if they do. I’m thinking I might be happier, if they just left me alone to do what I want.”

“If it is what you want,” Mark mumbled back. “You know I’ll support you whatever you decide.”

But he’d be a liar if he didn’t admit the future scared him. Mark was most certainly going to Berkeley in the fall. He’d already paid his tuition fee, and was on the housing list awaiting approval. He’d be in northern California for the next four years. But Jackson? Jackson, if his parents did get their way, would be in college in Beijing likely. Or if Jackson rebelled, while Mark was studying statistics, Jackson would be out traveling the world.

What they had at the moment would probably end at graduation. Unless they attempted a long distance relationship of some kind. But those hardly ever worked out.

So then maybe it was foolish to fight so hard to have anything at all.

“--really beautiful, you know?”

Mark jerked a little, bumping his nose against Jackson’s cheek. “I’m sorry, what?”

Jackson moved impossibly closer, his lips holding the promise of a kiss in their proximity. “I said, I’ve heard that California is gorgeous. Really beautiful. I’ve never been, but I want to.”

“Jackson.”

Mark couldn’t let him even hint at doing anything like that. Because if anything went wrong, if their relationship soured, Jackson would grow to resent him. And Mark would blame himself.

“I like sports medicine,” Jackson said, surprising Mark. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, and I like sports medicine. I think I want to study that. And coincidentally, the University of San Francisco, which oddly enough is only about an hour away from Berkeley, has a great sports medicine department.”

Mark felt his mouth pull into smile. “You have been thinking about this seriously. And researching.”

“Sometimes,” Jackson admitted, “a guy has to grow up and start thinking about his future. It helps if said future has a hot piece of motivation in it.”

Mark’s smile broadened. “Is that what you consider me?”

“Mmhm,” Jackson agreed. Then he tilted Mark’s head with soft, careful fingers, and kissed him properly. 

Mark dared not get his hopes up that Jackson could possibly be so close to him in the future. But the mere chance was … Mark’s own kind of motivation.

Mark gripped tightly to the front of Jackson’s shirt, trying to tug him even closer, oblivious to public decency of anything of the like. Let them get cited. Jackson’s warm, wet mouth on his own seemed more than fair compensation. 

There was a sudden, unexplainable whoosh of air and Mark was on uneven footing.

There was also the very distinct lack of Jackson’s body, his mind realized.

Because Jackson was on the ground, and a blur of darkness was on top of him.

It didn’t take long for Mark’s senses to return to him and for him to realize that the darkness was a person, and Youngjae at that.

Youngjae.


	5. Chatper Five

“Youngjae!” Mark reached for him immediately, trying to wrench him off Jackson who wasn’t fighting back, but also wasn’t just lying there passively. “Get off him!” Mark could sense that it wouldn’t be long before Jackson did swing back, as Youngjae’s fists aimed towards him with desperation and anger.

Youngjae tried to fling Mark away when he was grabbed, which sent Mark stumbling on his feet, trying to right himself and find some sense of balance.

It was all it took for Jackson to angle his foot up, flip Youngjae, and have a violent advantage.

“Stop it both of you!” Mark shouted, his voice going thin as it rose. “Jackson! Youngjae!”

“Get off!” YoungJae yelled, toppling them both to the side.

Jackson kept the momentum going, pushing them over and over again, refusing to yield.

“Enough!”

With every burst of strength he had, Jackson ripped at Youngjae’s arm and pulled. He all but flung the boy away, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

Silence fell over them quicker than Mark expected, punctuated only by short puffs of breath.

Mark found his voice eventually, eyes darting between Jackson and Youngjae. “What the hell are you two doing?”

“I’m just defending myself,” Jackson snapped out, sitting up and righting his clothing. He certainly looked as if he’d been in a scuffle. “Defending myself from this crazy asshole over here.”

Mark swung back to Youngjae. “What is wrong with you? You can’t just hit people. Why would you think this is okay? And Jackson?”

Instead of protesting the accusation, or attempting to defend his actions, Youngjae looked at Mark with such sincerity and demanded, “Are you okay?”

The question was boggling to Mark who replied, “Me? Am I okay?”

Youngjae pointed a damning finger at Jackson. “I saw him on you, pressing you against the car. Did he hurt you?

“Oh.” Mark’s mouth fell open.

Picking himself up from the ground, Jackson laughed out, “Well shit. This is about to get so awkward.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Youngjae asked with a narrowed gaze.

“Youngjae,” Mark started out, but he wasn’t sure how to explain everything. 

“You got a problem with us working on the last second details of the fundraiser?” Jackson asked, crossing his arms over his chest in a clearly defensive manner. “Unlike you, and your underachieving portfolio, some of us have extra circular activities. Mark and I are working together on student council.”

“How convenient,” Youngjae threw back.

Oh, Mark realized. Jackson was going to deflect the truth of the situation. He was going to lie and manipulate what he could, to try and protect them from being found out. 

No, Mark decided. That wasn’t right. Not when there were other options, other choices. And not when he knew how much leeway Jackson had given him, agreeing to hide their relationship, especially though it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Jackson is my boyfriend.”

Mark blurted the phrase out the moment he realized he was at the proverbial precipice.

“You …” Youngjae made a face, as if he was certain he’d misheard.

Jackson scrambled to say, “What he means is, I’m a boy, obviously, and we--”

“He,” Mark repeated, voice dropping, “is my boyfriend. We’re dating. We just aren’t advertising it. He wasn’t attacking me, it was completely mutual, and that’s because we’re boyfriends.”

“Mark,” Youngjae said, flabbergasted. 

Jackson echoed, “Mark?”

“I’m not going to hide you away,” Mark said, his eyes moving fully to Jackson and the unexpected, downright raw look of amazement on his face. “I thought that was the right choice. I thought that was the only choice. But the more we’re together, the more I realize what you mean to me. And you have to fight for the things that mean something. So yes, we’re dating. No, I’m not going to hide it like I’m ashamed of it in anyway. And now together we’re going to do our best to dovv some kind of damage control on the situation.”

“You…” Youngjae swung wildly to Mark. “How can you do this? Think of Junior!”

“Actually,” Mark countered, “Jackson and I have. We kept our relationship quiet to try and spare him any hurt. And that’s not all.”

Youngjae shook his head. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re dating your cousin’s enemy’s best friend.”

Jackson gave a snort. “Come off it. Don’t make this sound like a badly convoluted drama.”

“Jackson is JB’s best friend,” Mark freely admitted. “But that doesn’t mean they’re the same person, or that they feel or think the same, either. It doesn’t even mean they agree on the same things. You can’t associate one person with a other, based on the actions of one. People are different, Youngjae, and I wouldn’t be with Jackson if I thought he’d hurt me. I’m done being hurt.”

“Mark,” Jackson said softly. “You don’t have to say this.”

“I do,” Mark insisted. “I want Youngjae to understand now what I’ve finally gotten through my own thick head.”

“That you’re a traitor?” Youngjae accused.

“That I have Real feelings for Jackson. Real, with a capital R. And I think I’ve spent enough time with him to determine what kind of person he is. I’m so confident, in fact, that I’m willing to stand by him while you prepare to tell me how you’re going to run back to my cousin, spill everything, and wreck numerous relationships in the process. Because I like Jackson. I like how he makes me feel, I like the things he’ll do just for me, to make me feel special, and I like that I can trust him. All of that is independent of his best friend.”

“So you think he’s a good guy,” Youngjae said flatly. “Well then, what was I worried about? That makes everything okay. Why didn’t you just say that Jackson’s a nice guy from the start?”

“Stop,” Mark said darkly. “You don’t get to talk about my boyfriend negatively. You don’t get to imply anything bad. You don’t get to disrespect him. Not with me standing right here, not when we’re doing our best to fix this mess that you let get out of hand.”

Youngjae reared back physically. “What mess? What mess I let get out of hand?”

Jackson supplied, “Hello? Junior and JB.”

“The mess,” Youngjae replied, “that I let get out of hand? I’m sorry, did you all miss the part where JB did something to hurt Junior so bad he won’t even talk about it? That mess? Please clarify how I let it get out of hand.”

Before Mark could answer, Jackson asked, “Are you blind?”

Youngjae countered, “Are you stupid?”

Jackson rolled his eyes. “I mean it. Are you blind? Because if you weren’t, you’d clearly be able to see that something is right here. I mean, at the very least, JB doesn’t ever act like some psycho douche. I should know, I spend a lot of time around him. And never once has he bragged to me about hurting Junior, or even said two words about whatever happened between them. Nothing. Nada.”

“You have a point to this?” Youngjae asked.

“He looks at him weird,” Mark cut in. “JB looks at Junior oddly. To say the least. He looks at him like he misses him, like he … I don’t know. But he spends a lot of time looking at him, and it isn’t anything malicious I see in his eyes. He’s mostly sad.”

“He should be sad!” Youngjae said angrily. 

“No,” Mark argued back. “You don’t know that. Jackson and I don’t know that. And do you understand why that is?”

A cocky look was splayed out across Jackson’s face as he supplied, “Because we don’t really know what happened between JB and Junior. Yet.”

Youngjae, his mouth pressed into a tight angry line, said nothing. But his eyes flickered between Jackson and Mark so quickly it was almost dizzying. 

“That’s what we’ve been doing,” Mark said softly, hedging all of his bets on Youngjae having a good heart. “We’re together, Youngjae, because we like each other and it’s serious. But together, we’re hunting for the truth. And I think we’re getting pretty close.”

“The truth,” Youngjae said blandly.

Huffing, Jackson said, “You’ve got no reason to trust or believe me. I get that. But I’m standing here telling you that JB isn’t a cruel kind of guy. He doesn’t get any kind of joy out of hurting people. He can be moody as hell, and a jerk when he’s frustrated, but he’s pretty chill. It isn’t his MO to hurt people, especially people he looks at in ridiculously forlorn ways. JB kind of looks at Junior like the sun shines out of his ass. You’re his best friend, can you comment on the validity of that?”

Youngjae looked sharply to Mark. “This? You like this?”

Mark smothered a smile. “He has his moments.”

“Excuse me!” Jackson said brashly. “I’ll have you know I’ve been racking up the brownie points. I’ve had more than just a couple moments.”

Mark dared to take a step closer to Youngjae. “Something isn’t adding up, Youngjae. JB doesn’t seem like he’s the villain he’s been painted to be. And Junior? He’s put a lid on this so tightly it would take a crowbar to pop it open. That means it’s something serious--but then why hasn’t he thrown the truth on JB for us all to hear?”

Youngjae offered, “Maybe he’s ashamed. Maybe JB humiliated him.”

Mark made a face. “There’s just one problem with that.”

“And that is?” Youngjae asked.

After a brief hesitation, Mark said, “I’ve seen Junior look at JB. Have you?”

Youngjae said snappishly, “Of course I have.”

Moving even closer, Mark touched Youngjae’s wrist. “Have you really? Especially lately?”

Youngjae paused.

“We’re digging up the truth,” Mark told him. “We want to know what happened with JB and Junior, to see if we can fix it. Maybe we’re doing it for selfish reasons, because we like each other and we want everyone to be okay with our relationship. But I’m also doing it because I love Junior very much. I love him and if this is fixable, I have to be there for him. He’s been there for me, I think you know. So at the very least, I have to try.”

The good news was that Youngjae hadn’t run off to Junior to spill everything. But Mark had to admit that he didn’t look fully on board either. 

So Mark swallowed down his pride and asked, “Please don’t tell Junior anything. I’m not hiding Jackson. I won’t deny I’m dating him, but if Junior finds out, he will be hurt. My plan is to try and figure out what happened before he knows about Jackson and I. I’ll understand if you can’t keep this quiet, but I’m asking you to try.”

“Give us until the fundraiser,” Jackson spoke up. “Keep your mouth shut until then, and give us a chance to work this out. If we don’t have to figured out by then, we’ll come clean and deal with the consequences whatever they are. Can you make that deal with us?”

With some uncertainty, Youngjae asked, “You think you have some kind of theory about what happened?”

“We do,” Mark said. “And we think we have decent proof. That proof might get even better in the coming days. If we can save Junior some pain, don’t you think it’s worth you shutting up for a week?”

Sharply, Youngjae told him, “If I decide to keep quiet, it doesn’t mean I approve of this.”

“It’s a good thing we don’t need dad’s approval,” Jackson threw out.

“For Junior,” Mark urged. “I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to help. And if I have to pick between Junior and Jackson …”

He’d known for sure which would be the clear winner a week ago. He might have even known as little as a day ago. But now? Now that he was fully recognizing how deeply Jackson had burrowed into his heart?

No matter who he picked, if he had to, his heart would break.

Finally, sounding absolutely reluctant, Youngjae said, “You have until the day of the fundraiser.” Then he spun on heel and walked swiftly away from them.

“Oh, god,” Mark breathed out, leaning forward and bracing his hands on his knees. “I can’t believe he agreed.”

“I can,” Jackson said gruffly. 

“You can?” Mark looked to him. “How? Because I was sure he’d tell us to go screw ourselves and tell Junior everything.”

Tightness pulled at Jackson’s face. “He only agreed to put off hurting Junior for as long as possible. He did it for Junior, and certainly not for any other reason.”

Mark straightened up with relief. “I’m glad he’s such a good friend.”

Jackson barked out a laugh. “Friend? Mark. He’s completely in love with your cousin.”

Mark startled. “What? Love?”

Jackson made flashing signs with his hands. “Like Disney love. You can’t tell?”

Mark looked to where Youngjae had disappeared to. He echoed faintly. “Love?”

“Come on.” Jackson tugged an arm around Mark and guided him to the car. He closed the door behind Mark once he was in and rounded quickly to the driver’s side. When he was seated, safety belt on, he turned to look at Mark.

“What is it?” Mark asked curiously.

“You,” Jackson started, “called me your boyfriend.”

“Because you are,” Mark said with an amused grin. “Right?”

Jackson pressed on, “But you defended me to Youngjae. You put everything on the line for me and for us.”

“I meant what I said.”

Jackson turned to face straight ahead, hands loosely on the wheel. “I didn’t expect it.”

“Hey.”

Mark reached out a hand to turn Jackson’s face towards him gently. He stroked his thumb against Jackson’s cheek for a second, then drew him closer for a kiss. He grinned against Jackson’s lips and said, “You should. I’m the kind of guy to invest in something he believes in. I’m investing in you.”

Jackson clutched at him in an unexpected way, tugging him even closer, deepening their kiss.

Mark understood.

Per the agreement they’d reached, Youngjae said nothing about their relationship. And to his credit he acted absolutely no different around Mark. There wasn’t even the slightest hint that he was aware of the relationship, or the damage its knowledge coming out could do. The behavior put Mark on edge, made him feel as if he was walking on glass, and made him eternally thankful that just a few days after Youngjae had learned the truth, he and Jackson were set to meet with Jang Minhwa.

They tracked him down to a relatively large law office in the eastern part of Seoul, and traveled there for the short thirty minute window of a meeting Jang was willing to give them.

“So he’s a paralegal,” Mark observed as they passed through the main doors.

“I think that might help us,” Jackson noted. “It means he’s probably very detail oriented, and analytical. Maybe he’ll remember something that can help.”

Mark sighed as the secretary at the front desk rang for Jang . “I hope so, Jackson. Because if we don’t get anything from we’re really in trouble. The fundraiser is in three days--this weekend. Youngjae will say something then.”

“We’ll be okay,” Jackson said softly, his fingers brushing against Mark’s pulse on the inside of his closest wrist. 

“I wish I could be as optimistic as you,” Mark admitted.

It was impossible not to think of the worst kind of outcome. The kind they were barreling towards at full speed. 

Jang Minhwa was inconspicuous looking. He was the kind of guy who looked like he could blend flawlessly into a crowd, no matter how big or small, and there was absolutely nothing outstanding about him. He was nice enough, if curt in his tone and time, but Mark wasn’t put off in the least bit.

“This is about that contest?” Jang asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk.

Across from him, Mark was deathly still as Jackson’s folded leg tapped impatiently.

“It is,” Mark spoke up. “We were wondering if you were familiar with the events that took place then? It was a while ago.”

Jang shrugged. “I remember it well enough. I mentored the younger brother of a friend of mine. He placed third, which I thought was exceptionally well considering the number of participants.” He frowned in silence for a moment, then asked, “What did you want to know specifically? I’m not sure I could tell you much that you can’t already find in the school’s record department.”

Jackson shared a quickly look with Mark, then asked, “Were you familiar with any of the other mentors?”

“Several,” Kang said easily. “A good deal of them went to the same college as I did. Many of them were cousins or brothers or sisters. The university and high school have a long standing relationship.”

Mark asked, “How about Im Jaebum’s older brother? Im Jaehyuk? JB won first.”

“Yeah,” Kang nodded. “I remember Jaehyuk. He lorded that first place over all of us for a full semester--even got the school paper to write an article on his brother. But Jaehyuk was always like that, very prideful.”

“So you were friends?” Mark asked curiously. 

The change on Jang’s face was instantaneous. “No.”

“No?” Jackson inquired.

A little awkwardly, Jang stated, “No one was really friends with Jaehyuk. Don’t get me wrong, he was very smart, and we always wanted to study with him. He was involved in all kinds of clubs and activities, and he probably knew almost everyone at the university. But friends? No.”

Boldly, Jackson asked, “Why not?”

At the followup, Jang leaned back in his chair. “Jaehyuk isn’t exactly an agreeable person. He’s very prideful, very arrogant, and hard to get along with. He has to have his way, he has to be the leader, and he doesn’t know the definition of the word compromise.”

“Then he wasn’t a good mentor?” Mark asked.

“Had to be, right?” Jang pressed. “He led his brother straight to victory, and by a mile. I saw the final scorecard. Those Im brothers are a force to be reckoned with. I’d bet serious money on Jaehyuk’s younger brother being first in his class for graduation.”

A deep frown creased over Jackson’s forehead. “Then you’d be wrong. I’m JB’s friend. He’s smart, but he doesn’t like to apply himself. He’s just an average student.”

“Huh.” Jang gave them a look of disbelief. “That’s surprising. I guess it was that other kid doing all the work.”

At that, Mark leaned forward. “The other kid? Junior?”

Jackson corrected quickly, “Jinyoung. We just call him Junior as a nickname. Jinyoung was Jaebum’s partner.”

“I sort of remember him,” Jang admitted. “I remember he was quiet. He let Jaebum do most of the talking, especially during the preliminary rounds of competition. I remember when he dropped out of the competition at the last second--right before the final presentation. All of us were stunned. We’re talking months and months of work just thrown away, along with the real chance that he was going to win the scholarship prize. In fact, we all knew he and Jaebum had it in the bag. It’s still a mystery to this day, but I guess not everyone is cut out for the pressure of major competition like that.”

“Pressure?” Jackson asked harshly. “You think it was pressure?”

“He did seem nervous a lot. Though who could blame him with Jaehyuk always hovering around him, telling him how he was messing up.”

This, Mark knew, was what they’d been hoping to hear.

Mark asked, “Then Jaehyuk didn’t like Jinyoung? Junior?”

Thinking for a second, Jang offered, “I don’t think it was anything personal. If I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot more to do with what Jinyoung represented to him. We could all see that Jinyoung was smart and creative. He knew how to think out of the box, adapt and improvise. He was clever, and Jaehyuk was probably intimidated by him. Jaehyuk was the type to be intimidated by a kid.”

Flatly, Jackson pointed out, “Junior was an underclassmen at the time. Jaehyuk was a college upperclassmen. How does that work?”

Jang shrugged. “Maybe it was about the brother, then. Jaebum. Maybe Jaehyuk didn’t like how much potential Jinyoung had to upstage Jaebum, even if they were on the same team. Anyway, my point is, Jaehyuk always came down twice as hard on Jinyoung as he needed to. We all noticed. We all felt bad for the kid.”

Jackson leaned forward. “Did you ever hear Jaehyuk saying anything to him specifically? Anything at all?”

“The rest of us tried not to interact too heavily with each other,” Jang pointed out.

“Anything,” Mark urged. “Anything at all, even if it doesn’t seem like something noteworthy.”

Looking a little suspicious now, Jang asked them bluntly, “Okay, what’s going on? I let it slide, even though it was weird, that a bunch of kids were calling up my office asking for a meeting, but I was intrigued. But now I have to know. What are you getting at with Jaehyuk and that kid Jinyoung? I want the truth.”

Ignoring the frozen look on Jackson’s face, Mark offered up, “Coincidently enough, that’s what we’re trying to figure out, too. Jinyoung is my cousin. I’m just trying to get at the truth, because he won’t speak of it.”

“If he doesn’t want to talk about it,” Jang pointed out, “shouldn’t you respect his wishes?”

Jackson thumped a hand down on Jang’s desk. “The running theory is that my best friend, Jaebum, did something to Mark’s cousin, Jinyoung. We both know this can’t be the truth, and we are going to find out what the truth really is, so we can let the drama settle down and leave the past in the past for good. Now, you can help us out, or we can go straight to the source and take our chances there.”

Quickly, and with a warning in his eyes, Jang snapped out, “Don’t do that!”

Calmly, but with intent, Jackson offered up, “Trust us, we know he’s bad news.”

“No,” Jang countered, “you really don’t.”

“Then tell us,” Jackson urged. 

Voice dropping very low, Jang nearly mumbled to them, “As far as you’re concerned, I never saw anything personally, okay? And anything I say can never be repeated or quoted, or else I’ll sue you for deformation, or slander at the least.”

“Agreed,” Mark said quickly.

“There were rumors,” Jang said just shortly after that. “Like I said, I never saw anything personally, but I also didn’t go looking for trouble with Jaehyuk. 

“But the rumors?”

Jang supplied, “The rumors were that Jaehyuk was a little … heavy handed. There were rumors going around of him being heavy handed with some younger students--underclassmen, and while this kid never said it was him, we all kind of suspected Jaehyuk put a freshman in the infirmary once. Jaehyuk is … he’s got a dangerous feel to him. He’s an expert manipulator. He’s cold and calculating and frankly, he always scared the crap out of me. Stay away from him. If you earn his ire, if he turns his attention to you, it’s going to be more trouble than you’ve ever experienced.”

Bluntly, Jackson said, “So he’s dangerous.”

“He ruins people,” Jang clarified. “He ruins them easily and quickly.”

Mark gave a shiver at the notion, already terrified of someone he’d never met, and never hoped to meet.

“We think,” Jackson volunteered, “he did something to Junior. He did something to break up Junior and Jabum’s partnership. And Jaebum got the rap for it. We’re trying to fix that.”

Still in a quiet voice, Jang said, “All of the participants got together twice a month. The first meeting was like a check-in, or really a chance for us to all judge each other silently, take notes and desperately try to feed off each other creatively. The second was the assessment meeting, where those who were lagging behind would be dropped, those not at a satisfactory level would be dropped, and those who wanted to leave, would be dropped. Things got pretty tense towards the end, especially with a full year’s scholarship riding on the win.”

Jackson guessed, “You did see something?” He’d said he hadn’t, but maybe he’d just been too worried or frightened to say anything. 

“It was late,” Jang revealed. “It was taking an extraordinary long time to get through all the assessments. I was getting tired. Finals were right around the corner and I was probably getting four hours of sleep a night. I went looking for coffee, or strong tea. And I passed by an empty classroom that Jinyoung and Jaehyuk were in.”

With a shaking voice, Mark asked, “What did you see?”

“I saw Jaehyuk push him.”

Mark felt his heart drop. That and his stomach. 

“He pushed him?” Jackson demanded.

Jang nodded. “It must have been pretty heated before that moment. Jaehyuk was red in the face and breathing pretty hard. I walked right as he was shoving that kid to the ground. I don’t know why.”

“And you stepped in?” Jackson said, like he absolutely expected to hear the opposite.

“I’m not stupid,” Jang said, and Mark was met for the first time by the idea that grown men could be terrified just like children. “Jaehyuk looked me right in the eyes, told me to get the hell away from him, and I went. When someone crazy tells you to go, you go. About thirty seconds later I saw that kid go running past me, and about a day after that, we all heard he’d dropped out.”

“Do you--”

Jang cut Mark off. “Do I think Jaehyuk said something to that boy to go with the push? You bet I do. But as for his motivations, well, I’ve told you the possible ones from my point of view. You can make up your own mind. But I’m sitting here telling you not to go near Jaehyuk. He’s … unbalanced. You’re putting yourself at risk if you do.”

Jang glanced down at his watch.

The hint was taken.

Getting slowly to his feet, Mark said, “We appreciate you speaking to us, and for offering any insight you could.”

“I mean it,” Jang said, standing as well. “Stay away from Jaehyuk. If you think he ran this Jinyoung kid off, chances are, he did. He’d do anything to push his brother up to the top. Even cut out someone on the same team.”

Mark was still feeling a serious chill by the time he and Jackson were exiting the building, a feeling of somberness surrounding them.

“Well,” Jackson said when they were back in the car, isolated and insulated from the outside world, “that was … creepy.”

“Informative,” Mark said, hands folded in his lap. He turned to Jackson. “Do you understand what that man just said to us?”

Jackson started the car. “Unfortunately, yes.”

They probably should have gone back to school. They were dangerously close to their lunch hour being over, and as the semester progressed, classes were only getting harder.

But instead Mark didn’t say a word as Jackson drove them in the opposite direction. He was silent all the way to their destination, peering out at he buildings as they drove by, the sights blurring together as he thought.

“Come on,” Jackson said when he’d parked the car and turned the engine off.

They got shaved ice and sat by the Han River, even though neither of them were particularly moved by its beauty.

“This sucks,” Jackson said, his thigh pressed against Mark’s.

“It does,” he agreed, “but at least we know for certain it was JB’s brother who did something to Junior to make him quit. What that something is, we don’t know.”

Jackson said, “Well, I’m sure the shoving didn’t help.”

Mark nodded. “True. But Junior isn’t one to be cowed easily. He doesn’t stand for bullies, especially his own.”

Jackson guessed, “Maybe he saw what a psycho JB’s brother is. That would be enough to send me packing, and I don’t get cowed easily either.”

Mark let his head fall on Jackson’s shoulder. “What are we going to do?”

He felt Jackson chuckle as he laughed out, “Not go near that psycho, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, wasn’t considering that. Ever.”

The shaved, flavored ice was melting in Mark’s hand, but he wasn’t hungry in the least bit. He was certain they’d gotten the shaved ice in the first place just to have something to hold onto. 

“We have to find out if JB knew.”

Mark’s head lifted. “Huh?”

Jackson launched himself off his feet and turned to look at Mark directly. “That’s what we have to do first, next, whatever. That’s our next move. If JB knew that his brother scared Junior off for whatever reason, then … then…”

“He’s your best friend,” Mark said softly. “You can’t let his possible involvement hurt that.”

“Can’t I?” Jackson demanded. “You must not think that highly of me if you thin I can keep a friendship with someone who’d let another person hurt someone like that. If JB knew, and didn’t do anything about it, at the very least didn’t try and make this right … then I’m done, Mark. I’m done.”

Sighing deeply, Mark said, “And if he didn’t know, then he needs to. This is something he has to know.”

Jackson was gnawing on his bottom lip at that.

Mark had to ask, “Do you think he knows?”

“I hope not,” Jackson said with a raw voice. “I don’t think so. Honestly. I’ve been JB’s best friend for a while. He’s never been close to his brother, and he’s nothing like him. So no, I don’t think so. God, I really hope not.”

With a wince, Mark asked, “Do you think he’ll tell us the truth if we ask him?”

Jackson corrected, “Confront him?”

“Do you?”

Jackson turned back to the river. “He won’t have to. We’ll know. By the way he reacts, we’ll know if he did.”

Mark supposed they would.

Good or bad, they would know.


	6. Chapter Six

But really, the whole thing got Mark thinking. His cousin wasn’t timid or unable to speak up for himself. He was quiet and reserved, but that was the extent. Junior wasn’t the type to get pushed around or intimated. So Mark hated thinking it had happened, for whatever reason. 

And he couldn’t figure out how. 

“What?” Junior laughed out two days before the fundraiser was scheduled to take place. The both of them were in the kitchen, the sun having already set, and together they were making dinner. Junior’s parents wouldn’t be home until much later, and Mark had found it almost therapeutic to make dinner a couple times a week with his cousin. “Do I have something on my face?”

It was also really the only quality time they were spending together. He and Junior were on far different academic tracks, and shared almost no time together in school. They were on the school council together, but with the fundraiser so close, their time there was all business. 

For Mark, who prioritized his family above almost everything else, he needed the quality time like he needed air.

“Mark?”

Mark forced a smile. “Ah, sorry. No.”

Junior pressed his hand down in the rice pot, carefully watching the water stream up through his fingers as a mark of measurement. “You’re looking at me a little crazy. What’s up?”

Mark gnawed down on his bottom lip worriedly.

Head cocked, and interest clearly piqued, Junior inquired, “Mark? Seriously. Is something wrong?”

“I was just … thinking,” Mark admitted, because it mostly wasn’t untrue. 

Finally Junior turned back to his rice, a little bounce in his step as he hummed. “Thinking about what? If it’s about the fundraiser, don’t worry. I’ve done a dozen of these things. They’re stressful and horrible right up until they’re over, but they always work out. We have even the tiniest details covered. It’s going to be fine.”

Mark smiled instinctively in return. “I know it’s going to be okay. You forget, I’ve seen you work. You’re a monster planner. And no unexpected issue would dare rear its head near you on fundraiser day.”

Junior laughed deeply. “You flatterer.”

Mark had a cutting board in front of him near Junior, and vegetables spread out on it. As he picked the knife up to start cutting one more, he said, “Actually, I was thinking about you. About what kind of person you are.”

Junior called over his shoulder, “A good one, I hope!”

Quickly, Mark responded, “The best!”

“This is why you’re my favorite cousin,” Junior stated.

With a sigh, Mark continued, “I mean what kind of a person you are in particular, not generally speaking.” Mark was attempting to do his very best not to stir up anything, or get Junior worked up. But his patience was at an all time low, and time had run out anyway.

In two days Youngjae would broadcast to the world that Mark and Jackson were romantically involved. And one way or another, the proverbial shit was going to hit the fan.

“You’re strong and brave.” Mark didn’t dare risking a glace over to Junior. “You believe very strongly in things, and you stand by your convictions.”

Junior’s voice was a little quiet as he said, “You do too, Mark. I’ve rarely seen someone care like you to.”

“I’m not a saint,” Mark argued back.

Laughing, Junior agreed, “That’s for sure. But you don’t need to be. You just need to be Mark, my cousin who tries to do the right thing. That’s more than enough--that’s certainly better than almost anyone else.”

“Junior.” Mark frowned, knife coming to rest. “You’d never …”

“Okay.” Junior pushed the rice cooker a short distance away and turned to place his back against the countertop. “What’s going on? You pretend like I haven’t known you my whole life. Something is bothering you, and I want to know what it is.”

Still, Mark hesitated.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Junior urged. “Anything.”

Mark all but blurted out, “You’ve never let anyone push you around, right? You’d never let anyone bully your or intimidate you or coerce you into anything. I know you wouldn’t.”

Junior’s eyebrows were high up on his forehead. “Where’s this coming from?”

Rather than answering that question, Mark countered bluntly, “Someone told me JB’s older brother did something to you--he saw it. Now I know you said--”

Completely out of character, and utterly without warning, Junior swiped angrily at then nearby roll of paper towels. It clattered to the ground with a muted sound, but the furious look on Junior’s face made up for that.

“Stop!”

Mark winced. “Junior--”

“I said stop!” The piercing sharpness of Junior’s voice was deafening.

But Mark couldn’t. He couldn’t now that he’d started. So he said, “Someone told me they saw JB’s older brother push you, all those years ago, and probably threaten you. I believe this person.”

Junior brought a shaking finger up to Mark’s line of sight. “Just stop it.”

Mark shook his head. “I thought your issue was with JB. But it’s his older brother who hurt you. So why are you so angry about JB? Did he know what was going on? Did he--”

The rice pot, full of water and rice, followed the paper towels to the ground.

In a fright, Mark dropped the knife onto the cutting board. “Junior! Have you lost your mind?”

There was rice everywhere. Thankfully it hadn’t been hot, not even lukewarm, but it was spread out across the hardwood floor like a tsunami, and Mark was already anticipating how long it would take to clean up.

“I told you,” Junior rattled out, shaking as if he was barely holding himself together. “I told you to leave the situation alone. I told you it wasn’t any of your business, that it was over and done with, and that some things should stay dead and in the past.”

Mark’s fingers clenched into fists. “How can you expect me to just leave something alone when it continues to cause you pain every single day? What kind of cousin would I be if I did?”

“The kind that knows how to respect someone’s wishes!” Junior thundered back. Then he spun on heel and was halfway across the kitchen before Mark could utter a single word.

But eventually, at possibly the last second, Mark called out, “How can you do this?”

Junior’s body physically locked up. “Do what?”

“This,” Mark said. “Make me watch you be hurt by something that I can possibly help with. How can you do that to me?”

“Oh, don’t you dare,” Junior snapped, rounding back on him. “Don’t you dare try and pull the guilt card.”

“That’s …” Mark felt his voice clench up. He said softer than before, “That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just …” He closed his eyes, trying to pull himself back together.

He could feel the silence in the air choking him.

“You made me tell you about Andy.”

When he opened his eyes he could see an almost horrified look on Junior’s face.

“Mark …”

“I wouldn’t tell you what had happened.” Mark hated dragging up his past, especially the most horrible part, but anything was worth solving what was going on with JB and Junior. “I was confused and a little ashamed, and mostly just hurt. You knew something was terribly wrong, and you wouldn’t leave me along until I told you.”

“This,” Junior said quietly, “is not the same.”

“I think it is,” Mark argued. “You wouldn’t let me burry down my hurt, so I’m not going to let you. Yours may have happened years ago, but it’s obviously still effecting you. It obviously still means something. So this is me asking you, did JB’s brother do something to you?”

Cocking a hip a little, Junior asked, “You’re so quick to move the blame from JB to his brother, even after I told you it was JB who did something to me. Why? Because some person you probably don’t know very well, told you he saw something?”

“No,” Mark disagreed. “I don’t think it was JB who did anything to you at all. And it’s because of the way you look at him.”

“The way I … what?”

Shaking his head, Mark knelt down, trying to start scooping the rice together. “You don’t look at him how I look at Andy. You don’t look at him with any kind of malice or anger or anything even close to you should, if he’s the one to blame for your sadness.”

Junior rolled his eyes as Mark looked up at him.

With a sigh, Mark told him, “I can’t make you tell me anything, Junior. No matter how much I beg and plead, I know how stubborn you are. You won’t say anything if you don’t want to. But Junior? I’m not going to stop trying to figure out what happened. I’m not going to stop trying to help. And that’s all because you look at him like you care too much, not like you don’t care at all. It’s the same way he looks at you.”

Junior didn’t speak to him for the rest of the night. They had an awkward, silent, completely morose dinner. 

And the following day, Friday, Junior avoided Mark like the plague. The one and only time he had to speak with Mark, it was only about the fundraiser the following day, and only in a professional way.

“He’ll get over it,” Jackson assured, stroking the skin on the back of Mark’s hand that Friday afternoon. They were holed up in the library, tucked away in the back recesses of the reference section. Most of the students were on their way off campus already, but Jackson only had an empty house waiting for him, and Mark was worried that his own wouldn’t be. 

He couldn’t take the way Junior was refusing to meet his gaze anymore. 

“I don’t know,” Mark mused, shivering a little at the pad of Jackson’s fingers against his skin. “He reacted really, really poorly. Maybe I was stupid for bringing it up.” His gaze cut to Jackson who was making a face at him. He groaned out,. “I was stupid for bringing it up.”

“Eh.” Jackson offered up, “I thought we were going to get at this through JB. Trying your cousin again, especially after he’s been uncooperative in the past, seems a little futile.”

“Well, it was.”

Mark pulled his hand away from Jackson and slumped in his seat.

“So why’d you do it?.”

Mark admitted, “Because Youngjae is going to force our hand by tomorrow. He’ll go running to Junior. He’ll … god, he’ll hurt Junior, trying to tell him the truth. I guess I thought that maybe if I acted yesterday, I could fix things before the deadline. I was just trying to help, but I mucked everything up.”

“Was he that pissed?” Jackson asked curiously.

Flatly, Mark said, “He threw the pot of rice on the floor. I’ve never seen anything like that from him before. So yeah, I think he was pissed.”

Jackson leaned forward, reaching for Mark’s hand once more. He gave it a firm, supportive squeeze, and said, “If you want to, we can go find your cousin right now and tell him everything. I mean it---everything. We can tell him about us, what we’ve been doing, our theory so far, and be completely honest. We can do that. I’d be willing to do that.”

The fact that Jackson was, despite the hailstorm of trouble it was sure to bring, willing to do that, spoke volumes to Mark about how invested he was in their relationship. 

Mostly it told Mark that Jackson was just as invested in them as Mark himself was. 

And that was a good feeling.

But the idea was ludicrous. “We can’t do that,” Mark laughed out. “I was an idiot yesterday for even bringing this up in the first place. The fundraiser is tomorrow, Junior is insanely stressed, and the last thing that would be good for him would be to have us corner him and spill everything out.”

“No,” Jackson agreed, “but it would make you feel better, and frankly, your cousin is really nice, Mark. But the only person I really care about is you. Understand that? So if that’s what you want to do, if it’ll make you feel better, then we’ve got time to go now.”

Mark used Jackson’s grip on his hand to tug him further over the table. After a quick look to make sure they weren’t being watched, Mark pulled Jackson into a fast kiss.

“No,” He told Jackson afterwards. “But thank you.”

A goofy kind of smile on his face, Jackson slammed back into his chair after the kiss. He said dreamily, “Yeah, you’re right. What was I thinking? We need to stay right here and kiss a lot. That’s better for us.”

Mark grinned as he rolled his eyes. “You’re something else, Casanova.”

Jackson threw his hands behind his head casually. “Anyway, tomorrow we’re getting the truth out of JB. We’ll have time to sneak a little ambush in right before the fundraiser goes live. We’ll find out the truth, and then one way or another, have the information we need to come clean to Junior. We might even be able to do it well before Youngjae decides to stick his nose into business that doesn’t concern him.”

Mark tried to think about the two very different, possible outcomes for the following day. Either they’d get something from JB, maybe confirmation that his brother had a bigger part to play in the mess than assumed, or maybe even that JB himself already knew, and Mark would be able to put aside his own nosiness for good. Or they’d get nothing from JB, nothing at all, and Mark would stand by Jackson despite the risks involved--all because his heart ached terribly for Jackson now. 

He could lose Junior in either case for his meddling. 

But no matter what, he wasn’t going to lose Jackson. 

“Can you please stop looking like we’re headed for the guillotine tomorrow?” Jackson prompted, dragging Mark out of his thoughts. “I’m fully prepared to throw myself in front of you, when the fire starts pouring in on us. But I’d rather not, if I don’t have to.”

Mark asked, “What if it does go horribly tomorrow? What if JB blows up on us? What if you damage your friendship with him, or Youngjae picks the worst time ever to expose us? What if everyone we know turns on us, and we--”

“Then we dip out.”

Mark stared at Jackson. “What?”

Slowly, Jackson repeated, “Then we get the hell out of here. You’re basically here for the semester just so you have something to do, and to get away from California for a while. And I, unlike many people have chosen to believe, am not actually failing any of my classes. In fact, I probably have enough credits to graduate early. So if we have to, I say we get out of here.”

Unimpressed, Mark reminded, “Running away is not the solution to something difficult. No matter how appealing that is, it’s not an option.”

Jackson shot back, “Running away with my bae to protect him or his feelings, is totally justifiable to me.”

“Bae?”

Jackson gave a severe nod. “You’re my bae. I means, you know, you’re my boy. But better. More special.”

“Bae,” Mark echoed, laughing. “You heard that on tumblr, didn’t you? I told you to stay off tumblr. That place is crazy.”

“True,” Jackson agreed. “But tumblr had great advice for an emergency escape plan should this all go south. And don’t think for a second I won’t grab you and run if I have to. I will. I’m still trying to figure out what the Netflix episodes of Sherlock, the Doctor Who fez, and the Supernatural memes have to do with the escape plan, but I’ll get there eventually.”

“Get on your homework,” Mark corrected, nudging the book in front of Jackson.

“Just remember,” Jackson said, opening the textbook in front of him. “I’ve got your back.”

Quietly, but so Mark knew Jackson could hear him, he said, “I never doubted that.”

The morning of the fundraiser was the most chaotic one Mark had experienced in years. Junior was already up and gone by the time Mark woke up, and by the time he struggled through a quick breakfast, got dressed, and caught the bus down to the school, he was quick to realize that he was one of the last people to arrive.

“Mark!” Junior called, waving him over as soon as he was spotted.

Mark figured it was best just to be thankful Junior was initiating any kind of conversation between them, even if it likely was going to be just about the fundraiser itself.

“You should have woken me,” Mark mumbled to him when he was close enough. “I would have gotten here early.”

Junior waved the words off. “I didn’t need you here before now. You’re pretty much on time.”

Mark turned in a short circle, looking at the stalls that had sprung up all over the courtyard. Most of the construction was done already, with the smell of food in the air near the food section, a couple of people testing out the games, and in the distance Mark could see the performance stage completely put together.

“Have you seen Jackson?” Junior asked, head craning.

Mark froze. “What? Junior … I …”

Before his panic could get the best of him, Junior continued, “I need the two of you to do a final check-in with the food vendors. We need to make sure they’re all here, and see if they need anything.”

“Oh,” Mark breathed out. Of course. Because he and Jackson were responsible for that.

Junior paused, head cocked at he looked at Mark. “Is that your jacket? Or is that mine?”

Mark looked down suddenly. In order to represent the school, and despite it being the weekend, all of the student council members were expected to dress in their school uniforms. Mark hadn’t really been thinking earlier that morning when he’d sleepily dressed himself.

But now he could feel it. The sleeves on his jacket were too long, brushing down near his fingertips. And there was a bunching of extra material around the shoulders.

“Let me see,” Junior said, leaning over to try and check the tag on it.

“It’s fine!” Mark nearly shouted, worry flushing through him when he realized it was Jackson’s school jacket he was wearing. After their short stint at the library the night before, they’re gotten into quite the heavy makeout session in the car. More than just jackets had come off, and Mark hadn’t been particularly level headed enough by the end to distinguish his jacket from Jackson’s. 

“Well,” Junior sighed out, “it’s too late for you to go back home for your jacket. Just … just be more careful in the future.”

At the softening of Junior’s voice, Mark replied, “I will. And Junior? I’m sorry for … for everything. For butting in, and for making you feel uncomfortable. I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”

Maybe he was more sorry of the way he’d handled everything, and less so for actually doing it. But he was motivated to squeak out any moment of happiness with Junior he could. Especially with the coming firestorm.

Junior brought a hand up to Mark’s shoulder and squeezed. “Just go do your rounds. We can talk later.”

That was most certainly Junior’s way of saying he was more than willing to let things slide by. That was typically the kind of person Junior was. Mark couldn’t really remember much sticking with him. And Junior didn’t hold grudges. 

Keeping an eye out for Jackson, who rumor had it was floating around somewhere, Mark made his rounds quickly. All of the vendors, thankfully, who had promised to show actually had. And none of them were currently experiencing emergencies. When guests started to arrive in around an hour, Mark had all the confidence in the world that they’d be ready to go.

Mark was finished dropping off the receipt coupons for the vendors when he finally caught sight of Jackson across the way, helping another member of student council set up the last bit of rigging for the dunk tank.

Mark made eye contact with him and then nodded towards the nearby bathrooms.

Jackson met him in there less than a minute later.

He had a wide grin on his face as he looked at Mark and said, “That’s my jacket.”

Mark frowned at him. “Jackson.”

Jackson persisted, “That’s my jacket you’re wearing. It makes you look hot. Does it make me look that hot? Or is it just because it’s my jacket on you?”

Mark noted that Jackson himself was not wearing a jacket. Of course Jackson could have fit into Mark’s, though it would have been noticeably too small. But instead he was in the school’s dark blue slacks and white collared shirt simply.

“Our jackets got mixed up last night,” Mark said simply. Then he added, “I guess this is your version of a letterman’s jacket.”

“Letterman’s jacket?”

Mark nodded. “In America, it’s kind of a tradition for a guy to give his significant other his letterman jacket. It means they’re together, that they’re serious, and that they want other people to know.”

Jackson whipped out his phone. “Keep talking. I need to make notes about these things, for when we’re going to school in America. Is this college, too? Or just high school? Will it matter that we’ll be at different schools?”

Jackson said it like he was certain that’s where they’d be in a series of months. He said it as if it was fact, something written in stone, and that for sure he’d decided to pursue higher education in California.

Maybe he was more serious than Mark had initially thought.

“Junior thought it was his,” Mark interjected. “And I about had a heart attack when he said that. Jackson. We’re at the deadline. We have to do something today, or we have to let things play out. No matter what, we have to pick one.”

Finally something serious settled on Jackson’s face. “So I got here early to look at JB’s schedule. He’s going to run the silent auction at two. And he’s given himself an hour to prep before that. I was thinking that’s our spot. That’s where we slide in, get the truth out of him, and still have a little bit of time before the fundraiser ends at five, to figure out what we’re going to do.”

“At one,” Mark eased out.

“JB’s going to be cataloguing the donated items in the music room. He should be alone. Meet me there at one.”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Mark agreed, “I’ll be there.”

He was reaching for the door to the bathroom to leave when Jackson caught him by the wrist and swung him back, pressing them together.

“Jackson,” Mark warned.

“Just …” 

Mark felt the tension in Jackson’s body nearly vibrating into his own. Something was wrong. “Jackson?”

“Mark,” Jackson replied, folding his arms around him, breathing in deeply.

Gently, Mark said, “Hey. No matter what, we’re going to be okay. You don’t have to be brave all the time, Jackson. But you also don’t have to think this is going to break us.”

His voice muffled a little by Mark’s shoulder. “I just don’t want you to have to pick between me and Junior.” 

“Let me worry about that,” Mark said firmly. “But FYI, I don’t think there’s going to be much picking. And even if there was, I’ve invested way too much time and energy into this relationship not to keep going with it. Me picking anyone over you?” Mark scoffed. “That’s not something you have to worry about.”

“You two done with your exceptionally gag inducing soap opera moment?”

Mark jolted at the unexpected voice.

“BamBam.” 

The younger, shorter boy was peeking through the door that Mark hadn’t even heard open.

“If you are,” BamBam continued, “could you please skip to the kissing part? That’s how I’ll know you’re almost done.”

Groaning in frustration, Mark asked, “What are you even doing here?”

Jackson, who was straightening his clothing, interjected, “We needed some extra manual labor to set things up. He’s part of the volunteer group.”

Mark gave BamBam a once over and chuckled. “Manual labor?”

Jackson was laughing as well when BamBam said extremely ornery, “I may look small, but I’m really strong!” He shot Jackson a dark look. “This is the last time I try and look out for you. And you can bet your ass that if I saw the two of you come in here, so did someone else.”

Reluctantly, Mark told Jackson, “We’d better get back to work.”

Jackson reminded, “The music room. At one.”

Mark gave a silent nod, then he and Jackson fled the safety of the bathroom.

The day progressed, against what Mark had kind of thought might happen, relatively well. They kept closely to their time table, they had a steady stream of guests, none of them causing trouble, and each time Mark snuck a look to Junior he seemed pleased.

Jackson was already waiting at the doors to the music room when Mark approached. He was actually early, not late, but he wasn’t too surprised to see Jackson ahead of him.

Jackson’s friendship with JB was riding on what happened in the next hour. That was an incredible amount of pressure and anxiety. 

“Hey,” Jackson offered when he saw Mark. “Ready?”

Mark wondered out loud, “Is he even going to give us the time of day when he realizes the topic is his brother? I know I wouldn’t listen to anyone trying to talk crap about anyone in my family.”

“I honestly don’t know,” Jackson confessed. “But I’m hoping that he remembers how much of dick his brother is. I’m hoping part of him knows I’d never hurt him on purpose.”

“Then come on,” Mark said bravely, pushing open the doors to let them in.

JB was at the far end of the room, clipboard in hand as he obviously finished cataloging the donated items for the silent auction. He was so engrossed he didn’t seem to notice them at all. 

Jackson cleared his throat loudly.

“Oh, hey,” JB offered, barely glancing up from his clipboard. His gaze did linger on Mark for a half second more than Jackson, but then he was asking, “Did our fearless leader send you to check up on me? I can manage this by myself, actually. But if you want to help, that’s okay too.”

“Ah, no,” Mark offered awkwardly. “Junior didn’t send us. We’re both on break right now.”

“Then did you want something?”

Jackson and Mark shared a lengthy look.

“Seriously,” JB said, catching on. “What’s the problem?”

Jackson couldn’t start, Mark assumed. He couldn’t be the one to make the initial accusation. So, taking the lead, Mark asked, “Just what is it you did to my cousin all those years ago? What did you do to hurt him?”

There was something too natural in the way JB went slack jawed for him to have expected the question. That didn’t absolve him, but it was certainly something in his favor.

“What?” JB demanded. 

Mark continued, “I want to know what started all this between you and my cousin. What happened between you and Junior? He won’t talk about it, except to say that he won’t talk about it, and you’re just as weird about it. You follow him around all the time. Don’t bother to deny it. You follow him physically and with your eyes, but you never try to engage him, not to mention you rarely say a word to him.”

Finally Jackson broke in with, “We want to know about that physics project you worked on a couple years ago. We know that’s when this thing happened, whatever it is. Did you do something to Junior? You did, right? He wouldn’t act the way around you, if you didn’t.”

JB set the clipboard down, eyes narrowing. “Jackson, you’re my friend, so I’m going to try and be as respectful as possible here, but this isn’t your business. You need to back off and go away. You need to not bring this up anymore. And you, Mark, you know how your cousin feels about me. How about you don’t stay too long in my presence.”

Mark didn’t buy the defensive nature of JB for a second.

“Or,” Mark added, “you tell us what Junior won’t.”

JB shot back. “Why?”

In a frustrated way, Jackson asked, “Other than because I’m your friend and I’m asking you?”

Mark didn’t give JB a chance to respond. Instead he said, “Because Junior’s story is that something happened during that project. And he got hurt because of what happened, and it’s your fault. Expect I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I don’t think you’re the villain he’s painting you to be, and I want to know why. If there’s even the slightest chance to resolve this, then I have to try.”

JB shrugged. “If he wants to paint me as the villain, then that’s okay.”

“But I don’t think he wants to. Not really,” Mark argued back. “Isn’t that weird to you? He’s doing something he doesn’t want to?”

“Just … walk us through it,” Jackson pleaded, voice going thin. “You agreed to be partners for it?”

JB seemed to hold out forever. But then finally he confessed, “Junior is incredibly smart. He’s practically gifted. Things, knowledge, it just comes naturally to him. He’s got absolutely no street smarts, but book smarts? He’s top of the class. So when we all heard that you could have partners for the contest, I asked him. I wanted to be his partner.”

Mark nodded silently. 

JB continued, “I thought we were getting along really well, too. Things were going great. We were making good progress. I even thought we were going to win. Then, right before the end, Junior just dropped out. He quit on me, refused to talk to me, and he started acting like … like he was scared of me or something.”

“Then?” Jackson prompted.

“Then nothing,” JB said flatly. “That’s it. For the past three years he’s been acting like he’s scared to be near me, or at least like he can’t stomach the idea. I don’t know what I did, but obviously it was something.”

Confused, Mark asked, “Why not try and find out what you did wrong? Why not try and find out what the problem is?”

JB looked away sharply, almost physically turning away . “Because for that first year afterwards, Junior would flinch when I got too close. And, contrary to what he seems to think, I’m not really a monster.”

“Maybe,” Mark offered, trying to inch around so JB could see him properly, “it has something to do with your brother.”

More than anything now Mark was convinced JB wasn’t guilty of anything. Or at least not anything significant. JB might not be completely innocent, but he was right. He wasn’t the villain, or a monster at that. 

JB snapped back a little. “My brother?”

Jackson spoke up, “Yeah, that jerk.”

JB gave Jackson an displeased look. “I know you never really got along with him, Jackson, and he could be … difficult, but he’s still my brother.”

“Your brother,” Jackson said, “is a bully. And we think he hurt Junior. Not you.”

The way Jackson had phrased his words told Mark that Jackson probably didn’t think JB knew anything either.

“What?” JB asked, eyes darting between the both of them. “Jaehyuk … he wouldn’t …”

“Wouldn’t he?” Jackson challenged. 

Before the situation could get out of control, Mark asked instead, “What was your brother’s relationship with Junior like?”

Starting to look a little frantic, JB insisted, “They didn’t have a bad working relationship, if that’s what you’re trying to imply. I mean, my brother can be hard to deal with. He likes to be in control. He likes to be right. And he had trouble dealing with Junior always thinking two or three steps ahead of him. But I didn’t see them fight or anything. Jaehyuk drove him home from our late night sessions sometimes!”

Wasting no time, Mark revealed, “We talked to someone who also worked with someone in the competition. He told us he saw things you obviously didn’t. He saw the way Jaehyuk treated Junior. And he saw a physical altercation!”

Voice dangerously high, JB snapped out, “My brother would never have hit Junior!”

“Pushed him,” Jackson corrected. “Hard. And apparently this happened the day before he dropped out of the competition.”

With a small wince, Mark admitted, “We thought you might have known … maybe tried to cover for your brother. I mean, Junior was on the same team as you, but you could have easily seen him as a competitor too.”

JB gave a wry, dark laugh. “Are you listening to yourself?”

“Obviously we don’t still believe that,” Jackson rushed to say.

Shaking his head, JB demanded, “Why would I have tried to run off the boy I’ve been in love with since elementary school? How could I hurt someone I love?”

Mark’s eyes widened as Jackson said softly, “Oh.”

“That’s why I asked Junior to be my partner!” JB snapped. “Not because he’s super smart, but because I’ve been in love with him forever. He wouldn’t give me the time of day. He always just thought I was this dumb kid who wanted to spend his lunch period playing basketball and joking around with the kids who weren’t nice to Junior. I wanted to prove to him otherwise. I wanted to see if he’d give me a chance.”

“Then … um …” Mark had no idea what to say.

“Then I did something,” JB huffed out. “I don’t know what, but I did something. And Junior went from not wanting anything to do with me, to thinking I’m some monster. And now? Now I follow him around like a lovesick puppy. A pathetic one at that.”

Mark blurted out, “Your brother did something to him!”

Now JB looked misty eyed, and more than a little lost. “Why? Why would he? Jaehyuk knew I liked Junior. Why would he hurt him?”

Mark didn’t like the sound of that for one second. JB’s brother had known that JB cared for Junior?

“I don’t know,” Mark said hopelessly.

“Neither do I,” JB said. Then the creases of worry on his face deepened. “Unless … no …”

“What?” Jackson asked quickly.

“I saw something once,” JB said quietly, almost like he was afraid of the words. “I saw Junior and Jaehyuk. And it was weird.” He trailed off in thought. “It was late at night. I’d gone to get juice for us. And when I came back Jaehyuk was crowding into Junior. And I could see Junior didn’t like it, so I was going to say something, but then everything seemed to be back to normal and I just … I let it go. I don’t know what was going on, but I let it go.”

Mark felt his stomach drop.

“Did I miss something important?” JB asked them desperately. “Is this my fault?”

“JB,” Jackson said, moving to his side. He put an arm around JB’s shoulders and Mark felt like an intruder in the moment that they were having. Obviously they were very good friends. “I’m sorry. But I had to know. I had to make sure you didn’t do anything to Mark’s cousin. I had to be sure. And if this was your brother in some way, we have to call him on it. We can’t have come this far, started digging through the past this much, and not follow through. We have to talk to him, too.”

JB made a small, strangled noise.

“I know,” Jackson soothed. “It’s not as easy as calling him up and inviting him down here for the weekend, but we have to--”

Without explaining himself, certainly without warning, JB spun on heel and ran from the room. He slammed open the doors to the music room so loud that it sounded like a gunshot and Mark ducked almost instinctively. 

“What the hell was that?” Jackson asked, turning toward Mark. “What just happened? Where’s he going?”

“I don’t know.” Mark replied. “But we have to follow him before we lose him!”

The truth was, they’d lost him before they’d even started off after him. The academy was huge to begin with, and with a few extra thousand people packed in the halls and courtyards, even spotting JB seemed next to impossible. 

“He’s gone,” Jackson said, out of breath when he and Mark had fled down the hall, taken a full flight of stairs, and raced towards the biggest courtyard that would likely be JB’s destination unless he was leaving campus. They’d been forced to slow down the second they hit the first patch of people all crowded together. 

“Do you see him at all?” Mark asked, trying to go up on his tiptoes and scan the heads clustered together. 

In a frustrated way, Jackson literally jumping up and down to see better, he called out, “No! There’s too many people!”

A hopeless feeling was sinking in Mark.

Finally Mark saw a familiar face, and he wasted no time calling out, “Min!”

Min, who was the member of student council that Mark was the closest with after Junior and Jackson, was less than a dozen feet away and Mark lunged for her.

“What’s with you?” she asked, shooting him an odd look. “Mark?”

Mark could feel Jackson pressed up against his back as he rushed out, “Did you just see JB? Did he pass by here?” All around them people were shuffling, and Mark was never so thankful for the strength that was Jackson against his back. 

“JB?” The look on her face already told Mark everything he needed to know. But she confirmed a second later, “No, I haven’t. But if you’re looking for him, and with the auction due to start in about half an hour, he’s probably with his brother.”

Suddenly the weight of Jackson against his back doubled and Mark nearly staggered, wincing as Jackson demanded, “His brother?”

Min gave a confused, slow nod. “Yeah. I mean, we issued invitations to a lot of the alumni with siblings in school here. We didn’t hear back from JB’s brother until yesterday. JB told me he didn’t expect him to come at all, but I guess he made it at the last second. He checked in this morning with Sooyoung at least.”

The crowd jostled as Mark turned sharply to Jackson. Breathless, he nearly gasped out, “JB’s brother is here.”

And the idea of him being anywhere near Junior, with their fears all but confirmed, was terrifying. 

As Mark was fighting for air, Jackson demanded, “Min, do you have any idea where they’d be? This is really important!”

She pointed off towards the west courtyard. “JB’s brother registered for the auction as a bidding participant. He’s probably near his seat.”

Before Mark could register the words, Jackson was off running once more, at least the best he could, and he was tugging Mark by the hand along with him.

“We have to get to them!” Jackson shouted back. 

“This is so bad!” Mark called out, surprised at how well Jackson was swiveling them around people. 

The western courtyard, which the silent auction was set to take place in, was packed full of people just the same as the other parts of the school. But worse than that was the fact that there were organized chairs everywhere and large boxes full of already cataloged items scattered around. It made trying to find JB or Junior or JB’s brother even more difficult than expected.

At least until the parting of the red sea was happening towards the front stage area, with people tripping over themselves to get away from the brawl that was currently taking place.

“Jackson,” Mark gasped out as they skidded to a stop.

Jackson’s grip on Mark’s hand slackened until it fell away completely.

Jackson asked faintly, “Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

Mark’s eyebrows went high on his forehead as he replied, “Uh … only if I’m seeing the same thing.”

The truth was, Mark didn’t know JB. He’d really only spoken to him a handful of times since the semester had started. But he certainly had a cool, calm and quiet demeanor. He didn’t look the type of get himself involved in a physical altercation of any type.

But it was most definitely JB that Mark was seeing, slugging his brother hard in the face with a closed fist while people scattered about.

“Come on!” Jackson said, snapping to. He rushed forward against the push of people and Mark followed.

When they were a little closer Mark could hear JB yell, “--me what you did! I swear to god, if I find out--”

The rest of his sentence was cut off by JB’s brother recovering from the sharp hit to the mouth and striking back, delivering his own fist into JB’s ribs. JB was seriously winded, doubling over, staggering.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jaehyuk demanded, blood smeared on his mouth from the hit JB had landed. 

“You tell me the truth,” JB gasped out. He righted himself and looked ready to go a second round.

Interrupting them was Junior’s arrival, his eyes wide as he asked loudly, “What’s going on here?”

Jaehyuk gave a sharp laugh and it seemed to be more than enough to send JB barreling back into his brother, catching him around the middle and rolling them both down to the hard ground. Fists were flying again, along with angry words and Jackson moved to intercept.

“Come with me now,” Mark told Junior, not giving him a chance to resist. He forcibly yanked Junior away from the scene. And it was a testament to how stunned Junior was that he let Mark do it.

Mark risked a quick look back to Jackson who was nearly lifting JB off his feet and away from his brother. Several other students had joined in to separate them, but the brothers were still screaming at each other, neither making much sense.

Mark pushed Junior into the nearest empty room, slamming the door behind them.

With a bewildered look on his face, Junior collapsed into a nearby chair, his elbows going up on the desk attached. He was pale in the face as he looked to Mark and asked in a shaken way, “Was that JB’s brother?”

Mark gave a quick nod. “That’s what it looked like.”

Junior followed up with, “And that was JB fighting him?”

“Correct,” Mark replied. He felt like he was guarding the door to the classroom, hopefully projecting to Junior that there’d be no running away from the conversation they were destined to have at that very moment. And it was a long time coming.

Hands trembling, Junior asked, “Why?”

Mark’s shoulders fell. “Because JB knows what Jackson and I do--what you’ve been trying to hide for so long.”

“Mark,” Junior implored.

“We all know,” Mark continued. “We don’t know the details, but all of us know now that Jaehyuk hurt you in some way. And JB … he’s not going to stand for it. Because it’s you, and I don’t think I have to tell you that he has feelings for you.”

Yet Junior frowned at Mark, and Mark reconsidered that.

“You do know, right?” Mark asked, more unsure now than ever. “That he likes you?”

“He what?” Junior demanded, looking like he was going to try standing soon. “No, Mark. He--”

The door behind Mark flew open and Jackson was there, guiding JB in who was openly nursing his side and gasping in short puffs of air that probably meant something bad.

“Minhyuk said he saw you two duck in here,” Jackson said, giving Mark a soft frown. 

Mark watched JB shuffle to nearly the other side of the classroom and ease himself down into a chair. He asked Jackson, “Where’s Jaehyuk?”

Jackson crossed his arms. “He’s currently being escorted off campus by security for assaulting a student. We’ll deal with him later. Now, we take care of this.”

Junior started, looking between the three of them, “I think there’s--”

JB interrupted, “My brother did something to you.” It was a statement more than anything.

Almost at a whisper, Junior shook his head and said, “No.”

Angrily JB hissed, “Don’t you dare lie to me.”

“Don’t you tell me what to do,” Junior shot back, finally standing. He made to move towards Mark. 

Mark gave him an unsympathetic look and moved to barricade himself more fully over the door. “It’s over, Junior. The truth is out there. At least some of it. Stop pretending, okay? Stop hiding things that shouldn’t be hidden. Just tell the truth for once. Just let this be over.”

Junior looked away from them all sharply, body tense.

Voice soft, JB said, “I never asked you why you dropped out of the contest.” There was sweat on his brow, but also a look of determination on his face. “You decided to drop out and not speak to me, and I accepted that. I thought I’d done something. I thought I offended you or hurt you in some way. But it wasn’t me, was it? It was Jaehyuk.”

Junior was stubbornly silent.

Risking a concerned look to Jackson, who only mirrored his expression, Mark reminded his cousin, “Jackson and I talked to someone who saw JB’s brother physically assault you.”

Eyebrows pulled together in anger, Junior asked Mark, “And would you like to explain why the two of you have been gallivanting around, getting into other people’s business?” After a deep breath, Junior snapped, “I told you to stay away from him, Mark. You promised you would.”

Mark pursed his lips for a second, then nodded and said, “You did. But that’s been kind of a hard thing for me to do, Junior. Because I think I love him. Or at least I’m starting to fall in love with him.”

“Shit,” Jackson eased out, a look of wonder and excitement on his face. “I thought I was the only one.”

Mark snuck him a smile. “No.”

With a strangled intensity, JB urged, “Jinyoung. Please. I’m begging you. Tell me. If you never want to talk to me again, if you hate me forever after this, and if you want me to never so much as breathe the same air as you, I can do that. But just tell me the truth about my brother. Or tell me why you won’t.”

There was most certainly the prickling of wetness in Junior’s eyes when he offered, “I don’t want you to hate him. He’s your brother.”

JB laughed out dryly, “If he did anything to you, if he hurt you, even trying to hide the truth for me won’t stop that for happening. In fact, I think I already kind of do, and it has nothing to do with you.”

“No?” Junior asked skeptically.

“No,” JB confirmed. “No. It has everything to do with my brother being a bully who’s always taken pleasure in cutting me down at every chance. I’ve probably resented him for a long time, disliked him for even longer, and it’s slowly crept towards hate even without your help. So just tell me. Junior. Jinyoung. I just ruined the last bit of relationship I had with him. I think I just broke his mouth or nose or something with my fist. I think I did it for a good reason, too. Or I will have, when you tell me.”

“Please,” Mark urged.

Brashly, Jackson said, “You’re not getting out of here until you do. Mark and I are prepared to wait you out. We’ll sit on you to keep you here if we have to. I’d rather not have to do that to hopefully my future in-law, but I will if necessary.”

Junior’s face softened as he asked Mark, “You love him?”

Mark didn’t turn to Jackson, but he did say firmly, “I’m getting there.”

Then there was silence in the room.

Nearly unbearable silence. 

Until finally Junior looked to JB and mumbled, “Mark said you … you have feelings for me.”

JB snorted loudly. “Let’s just say your cousin isn’t the only one in love with someone.” JB raked his hands through his hair roughly. “I’ve been in love with you since primary school. Actually since the very first time I saw you, since I heard your voice and understood what kind of a person you were. Since then. So since we were about six.”

Hurt etched itself on Junior’s face visibly. “But … the project …”

“I asked you to be my partner,” JB insisted, “because I was desperate to be near you.”

“Not because I’m smart?”

“You are,” JB agreed, “and I knew having you as a partner would be to my benefit. But no, I asked you because I wanted you to look at me. I wanted you to see me. I wanted you to like me, and maybe give me a chance at being your friend, then something more.”

The dampness in Junior’s eyes was only growing as he said hoarsely, “Your brother told me you just wanted me to be your partner because you needed me to help you win. He said … he …”

“He said what,” JB prompted, with barely contained anger.

“That you knew,” Junior choked out. “He said you knew I had a crush on you. He said he knew I liked you very much, and that you were only using me and my feelings for your benefit.”

Somehow, despite the considerable pain he had to be in, JB heaved himself out of his chair. “I’m going to go find that bastard and kill him.”

Jackson pointed at the both of them, finger swinging wide from one to the other. “So Jaehyuk knew you liked each other, but didn’t know that neither of you knew the other did?”

“Why would he play you off each other?” Mark wondered.

“Because,” JB insisted, “my brother is an asshole like that. He does things like this just for fun.”

“I didn’t want to believe him,” Junior added, his gaze locked on the floor. “Because I thought it felt so real when you smiled at me.”

JB inched his way towards Junior. “Is that why you dropped out? Is that why you left? Because my brother told you I was just using you for your brain?”

Junior shook his head, but didn’t offer up an alternative explanation.

In the staleness of the room, Mark felt Jackson’s hand find his once more. Their fingers slotted together easily and the action gave Mark real strength. 

Gritting his teeth, JB asked, “Did my brother come onto you?”

Mark startled and Junior flinched visibly.

“I thought I saw something once,” JB continued, going red in the face. “I convinced myself it was nothing, but it wasn’t nothing, right? It was something?”

It was disgusting. That was what it was. JB’s brother was several years their elder, and if the math worked out properly, Junior hadn’t even been fifteen when all of this had happened. The idea of an adult attempting to instigate anything with his cousin as a child made Mark feel visibly ill.

“He never said he liked me,” Junior said, his voice cracking. “But he’d touch me. It was innocuous. He’d brush by me, or let his hand graze mine. He’d lean over me. That sort of thing. I was young, but I knew what it all meant.”

“Then that’s why you dropped out,” JB said, looking defeated, physically slumping where he stood.

“That night,” Junior said, finally looking towards Mark. “The night Jaehyuk pushed me to the ground. He tried to do something more than just touch me. I told him I had feelings for JB. I told him I didn't like him touching me, and that I wasn’t going to stay quiet about it anymore if he didn’t stop.”

“And that’s when he told you about me,” JB guessed. “He said that it was stupid for you to like me because I was just using you, and on top of that you’d just hurt his pride.” JB ground out, “No one ever tells Jaehyuk no. No one denies him. But you did, Junior. And he didn’t take it well.”

Junior added, “He said he’d make a joke out of me. If I tried to tell anyone about him touching me or coming onto me. He said he and you, JB, would have a good laugh about me as you spread things around the school and around town. And then he said he’d hurt me if I didn’t get out of there and never come back, or if I ever went near your family again in any capacity.”

“Damnit!” JB slammed his fist down on the desk. “Why didn’t you say something!”

“Because I was scared!” Junior shouted back. “I was a kid and I was scared. I believed him. I believed everything he said and everything more he implied. Can you really blame me?”

“No,” JB said.

Mark didn’t know how anyone could have done anything else different if they’d been in Junior’s place.

“So maybe you really did think I was a monster.”

Surprisingly, Junior urged, “I didn’t.”

“You believed my brother,” JB pointed out.

“For about a week,” Junior replied. “For about as long as it took for you to try your very best to seek forgiveness for something you didn’t do. I saw how hard you were trying. I saw how real you were being. And I knew then, after that first week, that your brother was just being cruel and you had no clue what was going on.”

He wanted to stay quiet, desperately so, but Mark couldn’t help interjecting, “You still let everyone think JB had done something to you. Why? Why would you?”

Junior was without words.

And it was JB who said, “Because he knew I would never forgive my brother if I knew the truth.”

“You needed him,” Junior said with a faint smile. “You needed him for the project, for your college applications, and for the connections he could use to get you where you wanted to be in life. You needed your relationship with him, too. You may not now, but you did at the time. I wanted you to think I was mad at you so you could eventually forget me, and nothing with your brother would be ruined.”

“Except you didn’t know one important thing.”

With gingerly taken steps, JB took himself to stand directly in front of Junior. Then slowly he lowered himself down to the ground in front of him. He was sweating even more heavily by then, breathing more harshly, and more desperate than Mark had ever seen him.

“Hm?” Junior asked.

“You didn’t know how desperately in love with you I am,” JB said frankly. “So even if I wanted to, there’s no way I could forget you. And the way I’ve been looking at it, even if you hated me. Even if you never spoke to me or gave me the time of day, if I could just be near you, it was enough.”

That was why, Mark surmised, JB had been following Junior around for years. It was why he’d been joining the same clubs, doing the same activities, and being as close as possible. Because to JB, even being hated by Junior, as long as he got be near him, was good enough. 

“I tried being cold to you,” Junior said. “I tried running you off. Nothing I did worked. Not even letting people think you were the bad guy.”

“I’m obviously not that easy to get rid of,” JB said with a tentative smile. “Not when it comes to you.”

Junior returned the motion and admitted, “I never really wanted you far from me. Quite the opposite, actually.”

Jackson’s voice was warm against Mark’s ear as he whispered, “Come on. Let’s get out of here and give them some privacy.”

Just before Mark slipped out of the door, unnoticed by JB and Junior, he could just make out Junior’s hand being held in a loose grip by the boy who’d waited years to be loved in return.

“Well, damn,” Jackson said when they were on the other side of the door. “That was not how I was expecting all this to go down.”

Mark gave a nod. “But now I understand why it was so hard for Junior to say anything. In a really obscure and ridiculous way, he was just trying to protect the boy he cares for.”

Jackson pressed Mark gently up against the nearby wall, keeping them mostly out of sight. “See why I wanted to be direct and honest with you from the start? We cut out all the frivolous crap and got straight to the kissing.”

Mark put his hands loosely around the back of Jackson’s neck and asked, “What do you think is going to happen with them?”

“The hell if I know,” Jackson said honestly, his nose nudging Mark’s playfully. “But I think we did pretty damn good getting them to where they are right now.”

Mark sighed. “We just ripped open old wounds. I’m not saying it wasn’t the right thing to do, but it doesn’t feel great.”

Mark held Jackson a little closer as their cheeks brushed and Jackson said seriously, “I think they’re going to be okay, Mark. That’s what I feel in my heart. They were both strong enough to get to this point, so I think they’re going to be just fine for wherever they end up in the future. You have to believe that too, Mark.”

“I do,” Mark admitted, and not just because he felt it the same in his own heart.

“But yay, go us,” Jackson laughed out, kissing the side of Mark’s mouth. “We did good.”

“We almost mucked it up,” Mark chuckled, “but yeah, I think we did good, too.”

Then Mark was gratefully accepting a much more demanding kiss from Jackson, full of lips and tongue and teeth, full of passion and want and need. Full of everything that Mark cherished and valued the most, all wrapped up in a kiss that continued to feel more and more like a real promise. 

“We should get back and do damage control,” Mark mumbled against Jackson’s mouth as the traffic around them began to pick up, more and more people drifting near them.

“Wipe up the blood,” Jackson agreed, but his fingers were still creeping under Mark’s shirt, almost desperate to touch bare skin. 

Mark grinned, “I’m sure the police will be coming around sooner or later. JB’s technically a minor and his brother isn’t, and this did happen on campus.”

Mark was moving to head back to the courtyard when Jackson caught his wrist.

“What’s wrong?” Mark asked, concerned.

With creases of seriousness on his face, Jackson prompted, “Back there, when you said you were falling in love with me … I … well, I don’t want you to think that you have to think that--”

“It was the truth,” Mark said bluntly. “And it’s stupid and sappy to say, but I think I’ve been falling in love with you for a long time. That wasn’t a lie. What I feel for you, it’s serious, and I’m pretty sure it’s what love starts as. I’m not asking you to feel the same, but I’m not going to lie about that.”

Making a face, Jackson asked, “You can’t tell that I’m hopelessly smitten and in love with you? Or that I have been since before you even wanted to give me a chance?”

Mark’s heart almost ached from how much it was feeling. But it was the best ache humanly possible.

“I don’t think Junior’s going to have much to complain about with us being together. Not anymore.”

Jackson rolled his eyes. “Hopefully he’ll be way too busy making out with JB to even realize it.”

“Come on,” Mark laughed. “Let’s go do damage control. Something tells me Junior and JB have a lot to talk about. And we can buy them time.”

Jackson swung his hand into Mark’s and threaded their fingers. “We’re basically the best friends they could ever have. I hope they know how much they owe us.”

Mark grinned. “In a way, I think we kind of owe them.”


	7. Chapter Seven

College was, as far as Mark was concerned, pretty much as amazing as people had been telling him it would be. Sure, it sucked trying to balance a job and a full school workload, and the whole learning to survive on five hours of sleep thing killed. Not to mention the horrible Bay Area commute to and from school.

But everything else?

Mark loved everything else. He loved the classes, he loved the people, he loved being an adult for the first time in his life, and he loved the absolute freedom he had to go anywhere and do anything and simply be himself. 

Berkeley was everything he’d dreamed college could be, even if it wasn’t initially the school he’d wanted to attend. And more than six months into his stay as a freshman, he was never more thankful for the way that things often worked out. Unpredictably. 

“Hey, Mark! Wait!”

Except ….

Truthfully, at the back of his mind, Mark had always registered that he would be attending the same school as the source of the previous year’s trauma. 

Though after a full semester of five classes, and a student body in the thousands, he’d also known the chances of them running into each other had been slim. After all, Mark was studying business, Andy was studying political science, and Mark wasn’t living on campus. He barely spent any time on campus as it was, when he wasn’t in class.

So he certainly hadn’t expected to walk into his economics class the first day of the new semester and see Andy sitting front and center.

Mark had nearly turned around and walked right out. The only thing that had been saving him was some newfound confidence that had only built during the summer, and the knowledge that he needed the credits for the basic education requirement of his major. Later that very day Mark had checked to see if there were any other open classes he needed in that time slot, and found absolutely none.

Therefore, he’d kept his head down, trying to be invisible, and crossed his fingers that Andy would never notice him. Or maybe wouldn’t even recognize him. After all, a semester and a summer away in Korea had done a lot to change Mark. He stood taller now, radiated confidence, and truly was more outgoing than he had been before.

Jackson had done that. Jackson who wasn’t with him at Berkeley and couldn’t help Mark stand against Andy. Mark had to do it all on his own.

“Mark!”

Sighing, Mark pressed on and away from the class, hoping to get through the narrow corridor up ahead before Andy caught up to him. Mark had spent the better part of six weeks ignoring him, but Andy was getting more persistent. He was certainly getting less patient.

“Hey!” Something firm caught Mark’s arm and whipped him around sharply.

The move was so jarring and so physical that Mark almost felt like he was back there in that hotel room, letting himself be pushed on the bed, unable to say no, or maybe just too scared to.

“Please don’t touch me,” Mark barked out, trying to sound forceful.

And Andy, looking meticulous as always, said as if he hadn’t listened to a word Mark had said, “You didn’t hear me calling for you?”

Mark hitched his bag strap a little higher on his shoulder. “Look, Andy, I really have to go. I don’t have time to talk.” And that was the truth. The class had let out a little later than usual and he was running behind. The train was already going to be heavily packed from the commuters who rode it to and from work.

Andy rolled his eyes. “About that project Professor Flint was talking about. I was thinking--”

“No,” Mark said sharply. Then he turned and started off down the hallway once again. It was bad enough he had to share a class with Andy. He was not going to work with him on a project.

“You already have a partner?”

Mark picked up speed, hoping to slide into the cluster of people ahead of him. “Nope.”

“Then give me your address,” Andy said, his longer legs easily keeping up with Mark. “I tried asking around for it, but some of your friends said you lived off campus. So let me know where you live and I’ll come over.”

The idea was terrifying all at once and Mark snapped, “No!” His apartment was his safe place. His apartment was the one place he knew unequivocally that he could be completely comfortable and himself. He couldn’t bring someone as toxic as Andy into that space.

“What’s your problem?” Andy asked, making to reach for him again.

But once more Mark twisted away, saying, “I’ve already told you once, okay? I don’t feel comfortable with you. I don’t feel comfortable around you. We have history and I’d appreciate it if you could keep your distance. I don’t want to work on a project with you. I don’t want to be your friend. I just want to leave the past in the past, and you’re making that difficult.”

Scoffing, Andy rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? Mark, that stuff happened ages ago.”

To Andy it had meant almost nothing, Mark knew. But for Mark it had been a learning experience, something that had taught him about himself and about the world, and it hadn’t been easy. Some days Mark thought it was more of a miracle he hadn’t let Andy pull him down into an even more terrible place of being.

Not that telling Andy anything would make a difference. Mark had tried before. He’d tried to explain how their relationship made him feel. And once, nearly nauseas over the idea of verbalizing it, he’d tried to tell Andy about how he’d felt the night they’d had sex for the first time. He’d tried his very best to explain what it had been for him.

Talking to Andy was like talking to a brick wall, and Mark had had enough of that to last a lifetime.

“I’m not looking for a partner,” Mark reiterated. “And if I were, it wouldn’t be you. Now, I’m asking you nicely to leave me alone. But if you don’t, I’ll go to professor Flint and let him know that you’re harassing me.”

“That I’m what?” Andy took an imposing step forward, deliberately into Mark’s space.

And Mark, for all he was feeling inside, didn’t give an inch outside. He gave Andy a sharp look and said, “Maybe you’re mistaken. I’m not that impressionable, easily manipulated kid. Not anymore. So I’m not going to be scared of you. I’m not going to let you bully and control me. That’s not going to happen.”

Andy was puffing up for a fight. Mark had seen it a million times before in the past. He was making himself physically as imposing as he could. The intimidation tactic that always prefaced an explosion of some kind.

Well, Mark was ready for him.

“Go ahead,” Mark prompted, raising his eyebrows. “Try me.”

God that felt good.

A furious expression on his face, Andy started, “Who the hell do you think you--”

He was interrupted by a sharp call, “Yo, babe!”

Mark recognized the voice immediately, a smile pulling its way onto his face without a second thought.

And as he turned, looking toward the source of the voice, the rest of the world, including his past, fell away. And suddenly there was only Jackson, grinning at Mark, making his way through the crowd towards him in a sinfully tight pair of black jeans and the jacket Mark had bought him for Christmas.

Mark breathed out, “Jackson.”

Jackson.

The boy he was head over heels in love with.

A little over a year ago when Mark had met Jackson for the first time, they’d had an undeniable connection. They’d nurtured and fostered their relationship, worked hard at it, and against any and all odds, it had grown into the most beautiful thing Mark had dared to think could possibly exist.

Jackson was the boy who’d stolen his heart so effortlessly, and Mark had never been so okay with something in his life.

“Hey,” Jackson greeted, wrapping Mark up in a warm embrace, tipping Mark up off his feet for a brief half second. 

Mark asked, completely surprised, “What are you doing here?”

Jackson reached out and lifted the strap of Mark’s bag over his head. He slung it over his own shoulder, taking he weight easily and replying, “I thought I’d come pick you up. Beats having to take the shitty BART train, doesn’t it?”

“Sure, but I don’t mind taking the train.” It was only a half hour ride from the BART station nearest their apartment to the one nearest campus. And it really wasn’t as bad as Mark often complained it was. 

Jackson told him, “Come on, let your super hot boyfriend treat you like a king. Also, I should mention the lot I’m parked in is ten bucks every thirty minutes, and my parents will kill me if I max out the credit card early this month. Mom’s already threatened to cut it up after she saw our electricity bill. Though coincidentally enough, dad thought it was hilarious, so there’s that.” Jackson shrugged. “You know my parents. We’ll be fifty and they’ll still be trying to screw each other, and not in the way that might actually relieve some tension.”

It most certainly had taken some time for Mark to get comfortable with the situation they’d somewhat fallen into.

Mark and Jackson had, contrary to what Mark’s parents seemed to think--and they were convinced that he and Jackson were rushing their relationship, actually worked out how they’d spend their time after graduation. Mark had expected to live in the dorms, and Jackson, who certainly hadn’t met any of the college deadlines, had plans to travel for a couple of months and enjoy what life had to offer.

Then three weeks into the semester, with Mark struggling to get along with his dormmate who liked to sneak bottles of tequila in under the RA’s nose, and leave messes everywhere he went, Jackson had shown up at the door.

Mark still remembered his words perfectly. Jackson had given him a foolish, wide smile, the last hint of boyhood hidden in it, and said, “So I was in Taiwan, visiting BamBam and his family, and I was just sitting there. I was sitting there and I realized how lonely I was without you. I was lonely and I thought about how I didn’t need to be. So I decided to come home. To you. And not be lonely.”

Maybe they were too dependent on each other. Maybe they were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

All Mark knew in that instant was that he was utterly in love with Jackson, and Jackson could have asked him to come away with him to the moon, and Mark would have agreed. 

Instead of the moon they’d gotten a place in the city, something they could only afford with Jackson’s parents backing them, and they’d fallen into a routine like they were a married couple of some sort. They did their grocery shopping together, Jackson would often ride to or from school with Mark, and they were starting, at least in Mark’s book, to show signs of having a concrete kind of future together.

The following semester Jackson would start his classes in San Francisco, and then maybe they could talk about all the printouts Mark had found stashed under the bed about the recent legalization of gay marriage in America. When they did, Mark planned to remind Jackson that he was the one who did most of the cleaning in their apartment, and so of course he was going to find anything Jackson tried to stuff under their bed.

Sometimes it still seemed like a fantasy. And sometimes Mark felt like he could cry from how thankful he was that it was reality. 

“Mark?”

Mark startled back to reality. 

And a moment later Mark could absolutely feel the searing heat of the way Andy had to be looking at the two of them. His skin was prickling like crazy.

Looking unsure, Jackson pressed on, “You ready to go?” His eyes slid over to Andy’s form and Mark’s stomach dropped, as he asked, “Or you busy with someone? I can hold on a second.”

Jackson’s self control was most certainly an improvement now, over what it had been in the beginning of their attempt to be adults living on their own. At least for that first month Mark had barely made it to class, usually preoccupied with being unable to keep his hands off Jackson and even get out the front door. Jackson had wanted to occupy all his attention in the beginning, and Mark had been all too happy to let him.

Mark glanced back at Andy, at his posture and the expression on his face, and most certainly at the anger he was radiating.

It made Mark feel petty that he was enjoying it so much.

But that didn’t stop him from leaning his head and pressing his mouth firmly against Jackson’s. After a quick slip of the tongue, and more than a few passes of wandering hands, Mark shot Andy one last look and told Jackson, “Nah, don’t worry. He’s no one.”

It felt like he’d waited forever to consider Andy no one to him.

“Then let’s go,” Jackson said, slipping his fingers around the side of Mark’s waist. “We have to be at the airport in a couple of hours.”

Mark questioned, “Did you get the apartment cleaned like I asked you to? The floors and the kitchen?” They’d already spent the better part of the week getting their small but comfortable apartment ready for guests. Most of the time they made comments about how small the place was, with a single master bedroom and a small guest room that they used for storage more than anything else. But cleaning it from top to bottom had certainly made it seem bigger than it probably was. It made Mark wonder what it would be like in ten years when he and Jackson had a family and a house.

It was fair to say that was where Mark saw himself in ten years--two point five kids, a dog, a white picket fence, and happiness with the only person he’d truly given his heart to. 

“Psh,” Jackson hissed out, rolling his eyes. “Of course I did. You know your boy always comes through.”

“Yeah,” Mark laughed out. “Fair enough.”

He just wanted to make a good impression over the weekend. He wanted to have things go as smoothly as possible. In a lot of ways, proving to his family that he and Jackson were serious, and that they were capable of maintaining a relationship and household, felt like the first real step towards validation, recognition, and the future Mark was willing to fight for.

They had just enough time to swing by their apartment so Mark could freshen up quickly, and drop off his school bag. Then they were back in the car, jetting off to the airport.

“You see anything?” Jackson asked, crowded up against his back when they were standing in front of the arrival gate. People were already streaming off the plane, which thankfully had been on time.

Mark’s eyes scanned each face carefully. 

And finally, just as the faces were starting to blur together, Mark saw Junior.

He had to wait until Junior had passed a certain threshold to make his move, but the second he could he was hugging Junior tightly to him, so thankful to see him again for the first time since Mark had left Korea.

“Mark,” Junior laughed out squeezing him tightly. They rocked a little on their feet, probably in the way of other people, but not caring in the least.

“How was your flight?” Jackson asked, seemingly happy enough to just hover around them.

“Good,” Junior said, smiling genuinely at Jackson. “Smooth.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Mark rushed out, giving Junior another hug. 

When Junior, who Mark spoke to on the phone at least several times a week, had mentioned that he had an upcoming week off from college, Mark hadn’t hesitated to invite him to stay with them. And sure, he was a little nervous. Junior had been nothing but supportive of Mark’s relationship with Jackson since they’d moved in together and gotten incredibly serious, but Junior’s thoughts and feelings on the matter were still extremely important to Mark. He really needed Junior to believe in and support them. If Junior did, then maybe the rest of their family would.

Chuckling, Jackson stated, “I guess that’s your concierge service.”

Mark looked over Junior’s shoulder to see JB come into view, dragging with him a large suitcase, an impressively stuffed duffle, and two smaller bags. He almost seemed dwarfed by the load he was carrying, but had a big smile on his face and was moving towards them steadily.

JB.

JB and Junior.

Mark honestly hadn’t known if there was anything salvageable with them. There had, after all, been an incredible amount of damage done by JB’s older brother. 

And it really hadn’t looked like there’d be anything but a tentative friendship for the remainder of the time Mark had spent in Korea. Sure, they’d made headway by speaking with each other, no matter how cautiously, and there was no more animosity, but there was still a ton of awkwardness.

As they repaired things between themselves, Mark watched them orbit each other. For weeks they used others as a buffer between them, for weeks they never went anywhere alone together, but also, for weeks, they spoke on the phone late into the night. 

Two months before Mark left, he spied them getting coffee together on a regular basis.

One month before Mark left, they were adoarably holding hands when they thought no one was looking.

And exactly twelve hours before Mark was set to fly back to California, he saw a stolen kiss, one that was actually given freely, and responded to with fervor. 

Mark had wanted to believe that they’d find a way to make it work. But Mark had purposely not asked about JB, just in case. And when Junior hadn’t said a word about him, Mark had taken that as a cue of some kind. So of course it had been a shocker when Junior had asked if he could bring JB with him, and heavily indicated that they didn’t need separate rooms.

“It’s been slow,” Junior finally broke and told him over the phone a few days previous. “We’re not like you and Jackson. There’s still a lot of hurt between us, and it doesn’t matter if any of it is even our fault. But we’re good.”

“Good?” Mark had asked, not sure what that was supposed to mean.

“Steady,” Junior clarified. “In a good place.”

That seemed the best one could hope for, at least with such a fragile relationship. 

And now Mark looked at them. He looked at the way JB pressed against Junior’s side, and how Junior looked to him, and how the both of them genuinely seemed so much happier now than they’d ever been. And more than even, Mark believed in them.

“I’ll have you know,” JB told Jackson, giving him a sharp look, “it’s considered gentlemanly to carry bags for your boyfriend. You want to write that down? Brownie points do actually count.”

Junior gave JB a nudge in the ribs.

“They do,” JB mumbled back. 

A near panicked look on his face, though Mark could see through how faked it was in an instant, Jackson spun around and demanded, “I carry your bag all the time, Mark. Tell him! I did it today when I picked you up from school.” His head whipped back to JB. “That’s right. You heard me. I pick up my boyfriend. How about you?”

Eyes narrowed, JB shot back, “I pick him up and take him in the morning.”

Jackson was moving to snap something back to that when Mark caught his wrist and gave him a firm tug. “That’s enough.” He pulled again. “JB and Junior must be tired. Let’s get some food and head home.”

He heard Jackson whisper at JB, “Sometimes I drop lunch off for Mark on his long days.”

JB offered back, “Yeah? Well I took a cooking class and now I make dinner personally for Junior on the weekend.”

“This is better, right?” Junior asked, walking along with Mark. 

“Well,” Mark eased out, leaving Jackson to help JB shoulder the bags, “considering what the alternative was this time last year, I guess yeah, this is better.”

“I bought out an entire restaurant for my anniversary with Mark,” Jackson argued back.

“No,” JB continued, “your parent’s money bought out that restaurant. And for my anniversary with Junior, I’ll be doing something more heartfelt, and less straight out of a cheesy drama.”

“Drama?” Jackson defended in an offended voice. “Mark and I--”

Mark stopped listening, guiding Junior towards the exit. “I don’t think either of us is ready for this week.”

Junior only laughed. Then he said in surprisingly good, only slightly accented English, “We’d better use this vacation as a testing ground, then. JB’s got family in the States, and I want to do graduate work here. You and Jackson could be seeing us for a while, relatively soon.”

“Nothing,” Mark told him honestly, “could make me happier.”

The four of them, JB and Jackson’s bickering falling off by the time they reached the car, ordered in enough food to feed an army, and it was minutes out from being delivered by the time they arrived home.

“This is nice,” Junior said, stepping fully into the living room of the comfy apartment. “Really nice.”

“This,” Mark said softly, while Jackson showed JB where to put the bags, “is what a lot of money will get you. We could make a house payment anywhere else for the monthly rent here.”

“Jackson’s parents pay for it?”

“They do,” Mark confirmed. “And it makes me uncomfortable.”

Junior walked across the room to the sliding glass door. It was chilly outside, but not horribly so. And when he slid the door open to step out on the balcony, Mark followed after. The San Francisco bay gleamed under the city lights, and no matter how many times Mark looked out at the water, he never got tired of the sight.

“Jackson’s okay with it?”

“Of course he is.” Mark put his arms on the railing and hung his head. “But you know Jackson’s situation, Junior. He’s used to being surrounded by money. His parents used it to show their love his entire life. He’s not greedy. He’s not arrogant, and he never feels entitled. He works full time, he helps me buy the things for the house that we need, and he’s still going to keep his job when he starts classes in the fall. But yeah, of course he’s okay with this. He doesn’t think twice about how his parents are footing the bill for us to live here, and will probably continue to for the foreseeable future.”

Junior propped his chin up in palm. “Why don’t you tell him it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Because I don’t want to seem ungrateful?” Mark gestured out at the city. “I’m nineteen, Junior. I’m nineteen and look where I am in my life. I’m living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, with my boyfriend who I love, attending an amazing university. I don’t go to bed hungry. I don’t want for things. I’m living a near perfect life. That’s because Jackson’s parents foot the rent bill monthly--and then some. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, Junior.”

Junior was quiet for a moment, and Mark let him be.

It was worth it for when Junior asked, “Do you know why JB and I have been so successful in getting to where we are?”

“Hard work?” Mark guessed.

“We do work hard on it,” Junior admitted. “But really it’s because we’re honest with each other. Seriously, Mark. Honesty is the most important thing we have with each other. We tell each other everything, even if it hurts, even if it’s uncomfortable, and even if we don’t want to. We’re honest to a painful degree Mark, but it means we have to confront our issues without delay, and they don’t have time to fester or grow. I think, Mark, you should be honest with Jackson. Even if you don’t want to particularly change the quality of life you have, you should tell Jackson what about it makes you comfortable. That’s what I’d do, and I think I’m getting pretty good at figuring out the right calls to make in relationships.”

The most irritating thing about the whole situation was that Mark truly appreciated Jackson’s parents paying their rent. They never would have been able to afford it otherwise, and it left them money to do fun things on the weekend with their friends, or just go places with each other. He didn’t want to lose that. But he also didn’t want to think he’d be thirty, still having his boyfriend’s parents pay his rent, or by then, his mortgage. 

“Honesty,” Mark repeated.

“Wasn’t that part of the problem with … you know … him?”

Him. Andy.

How odd was it that Mark had had an altercation with the very person in question earlier that day, and now Junior was bringing him up.

Junior added, “You told me once that you regretted not being able to be honest with him early enough, and tell him how you were feeling. Obviously Jackson is nothing like Andy, but still, you don’t want to go down that road.”

Behind them the door opened and Jackson popped his head out. “You guys ready to eat? The food just got here.”

“Starved,” Junior said, headed for the door immediately. “Plane food barely counts as food.”

Mark followed after him.

“You okay?” Jackson asked the second he was close enough to mumble the words quietly to him. Junior and JB were already dishing out the food in the small kitchen. “You’ve got this look on your face. It’s not a good one. You don’t usually get that look unless I’ve done something bad.”

“I’m fine,” Mark said, squeezing his hand as he passed by.

He knew Jackson didn’t believe him, but they’d have plenty of time to talk later that night.

The dynamic was good between the four of them. That was the most striking fact to Mark as dinner progressed. They were able to laugh and joke with each other, even tease, and the tension between them remained at a low level. In fact they all seemed to get along together easily enough, more like they’d been doing it for years.

Mark liked how well the four of them fit together. 

“You really shouldn’t let us put you out like this,” Junior insisted when there were plenty of yawns going around the table and it was late. 

Jackson’s head was leaning sleepily on Mark’s shoulder as he insisted, “You’re our guests.” Mark wouldn’t be moved on the subject. “Plus, Jackson is like the human version of an octopus. He curls around me at night and there’s no shaking him off. A smaller bed is no problem for us. You and JB take the master bedroom with the bigger bed.”

“All right,” Junior said slowly.

JB nudged him towards the bedroom in question. “Thanks, Mark. Come on, Junior. I’m seriously dead on my feet here.”

Junior let JB push him towards the master bedroom as Mark and Jackson headed off towards the guest room.

They were changed and ready for bed less than five minutes later. Mark skillfully climbed over Jackson to wedge himself between the wall and his boyfriend, and sighed with tiredness.

Jackson tapped the light off on the bedside table and wrapped an arm around Mark, pulling them against each other. He was quiet for a second as he squirmed for a comfortable position, then he said to Mark, “You can’t really expect me to believe that you’re completely okay. I’m the guy you’ve been living with for the past half year. I know your moods. I know when something’s bothering you. I know you.”

Once more Mark thought back to Andy, and then with a wince in the dark, said, “You know how you came to pick me up today? From class?”

“Yeah.”

“And,” Mark pressed on, “you asked me if that guy was anyone.”

Now Jackson was completely silent.

Mark hugged the warmth of Jackson’s body a little more tightly. “I said he was no one. That was a lie.”

Jackson took a deceptively calm breath. “Who is he?”

Mark sighed. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

“Mark.”

“It was Andy. My ex, Andy.”

Mark was jostled immediately as Jackson sat up, flipping the bedside light back on. Jackson demanded, “What the hell, Mark!”

Mark sat up too, folding his legs under him. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. Or freak out.”

Jackson seemed flabbergasted. “You didn’t think I had a right to know that your abusive asshole of an ex is in one of your classes?”

“I’m handling it,” Mark offered weakly. 

Jackson looked furious and refused to meet Mark’s gaze as he said, “You should have told me. You shouldn’t have hidden this.”

“I’m starting to think that,” Mark said regretfully. He touched the inside crook of Jackson’s elbow and said, “I just really wanted to make sure Andy could never hurt me or anyone I love, ever again. Even indirectly. That’s what I was worried about.” Mark pause, then admitted, “That and I was afraid if you knew it was him, you’d show up one day after class let out and break his nose.”

At that, Jackson glanced over at Mark and asked, “Isn’t that what Junior did?”

Mark gave a silent nod.

“Then nah, I wouldn’t break his nose.” Jackson surprised Mark with that. “It’d be cheap to break something already sensitive. I’d break his jaw instead. Let him eat through a straw for six months.”

Mark bit back a grin.

Turning more fully to him, Jackson asked, “Has he been bothering you? Made a play for you?”

No more lying, Mark decided. So he nodded and said, “Andy always had trouble hearing me when I spoke. But after today, I think he gets the picture. I told him to back off, unequivocally, or I’d go to the professor, and then the dean. I told him I didn’t want him near me, and then I kissed you in front of him.”

Slowly, a lazy kind of smile snuck its way onto Jackson’s face. He commented, “I kind of wondered why there was tongue when you kissed me back. You’re usually not into that when we’re in public.”

“He’ll leave me alone now,” Mark said confidently. “Or I’ll make him sorry. Jackson, I’m not that scared, insecure kid anymore. I’m an adult, and I’ve got you. You’ve helped me be stronger than I ever thought possible, and I’m done letting Andy have any place in my life, even at the back of my mind.”

Jackson’s fingers brushed lightly against the stubble on Mark’s jaw. He peered at Mark with seriousness for a few more seconds, then asked, “You sure you got it?”

“I’m sure,” Mark said confidently. 

“Because I will break the shit out of his jaw if you want me to.”

“Jackson.” Mark closed his eyes and tipped towards him. “He’s the skeleton in my closet. I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ve got this. I’ll tell you if I don’t. But this is me telling you right now, I do. Understand? Let me deal with my skeletons on my own.”

Jackson’s mouth was heavy and hot against Mark’s when they kissed, slowly and in a lovely way. Mark felt pleasure coil and then unfurl in him, and as he tugged Jackson down on the bed to cover him, he was filled with the kind of content that only Jackson had ever made him feel.

It carried over to that morning when they awoke just as the sun was coming up, limbs tangled up and sheets soiled from the quiet, soft lovemaking they’d engaged in the night before.

“There’s something else,” Mark whispered to him as the sun crawled its way through the far window towards the bed. His fingers were tracing across the bare skin of Jackson’s chest, all the while he felt Jackson’s nails scraping soothingly against his scalp.

“I know,” Jackson said with a morning heavy voice.

“Huh?” Mark tilted his head up towards Jackson to meet his gaze. “You know?”

Jackson gave a firm, serious nod. “There’s no way Junior and JB didn’t just defile our bed last night. Don’t worry. We’ll burn everything today when they go sight seeing, and get some plastic on the mattress before they come back.”

Mark laughed out, “That’s not it.”

Jackson shrugged. “Think about it. How do you feel about sleeping in a bed your cousin made sweet, sweet love to--”

“Stop,” Mark laughed again, pinching Jackson’s side. “I can’t think about that kind of thing.”

“Fluids,” Jackson insisted. “Fluids everywhere.”

Mark pressed is face into Jackson’s skin and said in a muffled way, “They were jetlagged. They were too tired to do anything but sleep.”

Jackson snorted loudly. “Please. I can barely stand keeping my hands to myself when you’re gone to school or I’m at work. You think they didn’t do anything, after a fifteen hour flight, on top of the time they spent with us before going to bed? Dream on.”

“Okay,” Mark agreed, wiggling his toes against the temperature of the room as Jackson shifted the blanket over them, exposing their feet. “We’ll burn everything later.”

Jackson’s fingers stilled in his hair. “What did you want to say?”

Despite how good and confident he was feeling, Mark hesitated. Jackson, naturally, could be a little sensitive, even defensive about his parents and the odd dichotomy they had. Mark never wanted to be responsible for creating any added friction there.

“Mark.” Jackson prodded him. “You know you can say whatever you want to me, right? I won’t get angry with you, if it’s something important or serious. And I’ll always listen.”

On the other side of the door, further in the apartment, Mark could just barely hear the faint sound of footsteps and then the TV on at a low level. What followed were cabinets in the kitchen opening, and without having to worry about getting up to entertain their guests, Mark could turn his full attention to Jackson.

“Anything,” Jackson insisted. “You can tell me anything.”

With an ease to his anxiety, Mark nodded. “I know I can. Thank you.”

“Then what’s on your mind?”

Feeling confident, Mark started, “There’s something that’s been bothering me. I just want to talk about it for a while.”

No matter where they were in ten years, where their lives took them or how they ended up, Mark knew they’d be together. No matter what storm they had to weather, or speed bumps they needed to go over, they were strong enough. They were meant to be together, and part of Mark had felt that right from the start. And after some turbulence towards learning to listen to his gut, it only said good things about Jackson. The best.


End file.
